


Experimental

by FaboKraken



Series: Experimental Au [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hinted at psychological issues, Hinted at trauma, Mild Cursing, Paranoia, Reference to Neglect, anxiety/panic attacks, brief description of death, descriptions of blood and injuries, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 71,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24465445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaboKraken/pseuds/FaboKraken
Summary: Zim is the creation of Shep, an Irken scientist that has been tasked with the curious task of creating an Irken hybrid that is to be terminated once the experiment proves to be a success.But what happens when she gets attached and she doesn’t want to follow orders?Aka, an au where Zim is an Irken hybrid experiment.
Relationships: Almighty Tallest Miyuki & Almighty Tallest Spork, Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib & Professor Membrane, Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Family - Relationship, Zim (Invader Zim) & Original Character(s), platonic - Relationship
Series: Experimental Au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000992
Comments: 42
Kudos: 102





	1. A Scientist’s Excitement

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, and as so, it may read a bit wonky. But either way, I hope it peaks your curiosity and that it is an interesting read either way.

Scientist Shep was all nerves as she walked along to met with Tallest Miyuki, who had specifically asked for her.   
Shep knew that this was her chance. Her chance to show off that she was Irk’s best scientific mind, the only problem? She didn’t quite know what she was dealing with.  
The message sent to her had been vague to say the least, merely reading a simple time, place, and a brief statement about some ‘to be unspoken of’ project. The only other thing had been a signature from the Tallest herself.

Shep was nervous, though her mind raced with excitement.   
Her antennae pricked slightly as she heard voices and she puffed up her chest and quickly smoothed down her lab coat as she entered the Tallest’s control room. Keeping her head slightly bowed, the scientist cleared her throat, “Tallest Miyuki?”

Two figures turned to her with nothing but a silent stare from each.   
Then the Tallest straightened herself every so slightly as she spoke, her voice rich and silky in a way that sent a shiver down Shep’s spine, her antennae twitching as the words came, “Ah, Scientist Shep, there you are. Find it relatively easy to get here? How are you doing?”

She was caught off guard by this before sputtering a meek, “It was a simple task to get here, and I mean, Vort’s an intriguing place to work. Though I must add that Vo-

A slight inhale as Tallest Miyuki cut her off, “I was only being pleasant.”

Shep’s vivid red eyes shot towards her Tallest before she ducked her head down again with a swift nod, “Of course. Apologizes.”

A light cough and the two turned to the other figure in the room, the Tallest’s advisor, Spork.   
Spork narrowed his already beady eyes as he stared at the scientist before bowing his head slightly towards Miyuki, “My Tallest only needs you here to receive orders for a... special project.”

Shep pricked her antennae attentively as she gazed towards the Tallest, Miyuki turning to regard the scientist through a narrowed gaze, “This is to be a quiet objective. You will receive the materials needed and a new lab solely for your usage. It will be spoken with none. Is this understood?”

Shep nodded quickly before saluting shakily, her mind rushing to think of what would require such preparations and secrecy before stammering, “O-Of course! Anything for you, My Tallest!”

Tallest Miyuki shared a brief glance with her second-in-commander, Spork glancing back attentively, before the Tallest turned back to the scientist.

She gave a light breath before flicking a claw towards Spork, “Spork, illuminate our dear Shep, will you?”

Spork bowed his head and nodded before clicking a button on a device encircling his wrist, a beam of light shot off a nearby wall and the light beamed across the wall to create an image of a strange creature.   
Shep leaned closer curiously, eyes darting across the six-limbed form.   
It had a black, leathery hide with twin rows of spines running from its lower back towards the end of its odd, split-at-the-tip tail. The creature was shown standing on its back limbs which unlike an Irken’s, bent at a sharp angle backwards before the leg bent forwards again. The other limbs were held securely by its sides, these seemingly to function as arms. Each limb ended with four blue claws, the claws themselves seemingly fused to the hands and feet of the creature, much like an Irken.   
Yet as much as she could compare features such as the claws, large mono-colored eyes, and twin antenna arching from its head, the thing was so different from what she was accustomed with. The head itself looked harshly triangular with no notable mouth and two gaping holes right under each of its bulbous eyes. The eyes were a similarly iridescent blue as the claws were. Yet as she continued to stare, Spork clicked the button again, and the creature exploded into motion.

Shep instinctual flinched back, her pak shuddering as it flicked out a pak leg before she hurriedly drew it back with a flush of embarrassment as Tallest Miyuki sent her a look. 

The scientist then shook her head and focused on the moving image, watching as the holes on the things head suddenly stretched to about double its size into a sideways oval shape before it spewed a long tongue-like appendage that ended in a sharp, hook-like spine. The thing arched its back and the spines grew jagged and began to branch off with a sharp glow of blue that reminded the scientist of electricity as the creature twitched and a sound like a whirling blade began to sound.   
Shep leaned closer, antennae flicking back, and watched as it spread its four arms, the bottom two notably smaller and each having what looked like a yellow spur along the forearm that flicked outwards. The creature arched its neck and the eyes seemed to glow for a moment before the image looped to repeat.

Shep took a shuddering breath and asked softly, “What is it?”

Tallest Miyuki hummed, “They call themselves ‘Rays,’ a previously thought simple minded race, they have proven to be a... troublesome thing. You see, the issue is that their hides are surprisingly flexible in order to take greats amounts of physical trauma before actually suffering damage as well as seeming to have a saliva that when it comes in contact with Irken skin, becomes a liquid that clings and burns faster then we can heal. Else wise, they seem to be capable of technological genius and have a biological ability that they use to... hmmm, how’d you put it earlier, Spork?”

The other turned and tapped a claw to his chin before snapping his finger with a harsh click, “Self-implode.”

Shep raised an eye ridge with curiosity, “Why would they do so?”

Miyuki sighed with a lazy motion, “It seems that they thrive... off their own destruction. They can, how do I put it?” She paused for a moment, twirling an antennae with a claw before stating lightly, “..They can dissolve certain parts of themselves internally so that when they are externally damaged, their insides can be pushed outwards to cover the exterior and transform their exterior to a new set of insides?”   
The Tallest nodded to herself with a mild shrug, “Yes, that sounds about right.”

Shep cringed and bared her zipper-like teeth with a grimace, “How do you kill it then?”

Tallest Miyuki flicked a finger towards Spork and when they turned towards him, he had straightened up and began to explain, “They are highly aggressive, and as so, while capable of great technological developments and sophisticated planning, they will attack anything outside their own kind with a relentlessness that causes them to tire easily.”   
He smirked mildly before stating smugly, “And when they tire, this regeneration, so to speak, dulls. And we have found that they are vulnerable to suffocation through clogging of the two holes seen under their eyes and through low frequency sounds that cause great philological stress that may cause them to essential go into seizures that will make them melt their own minds,” there was a pause before Spork muttered, “It’s kinda gross now that I really think about it.” 

Shep hummed before nodding slowly, gazing up at her Tallest with a new intrigue, “And where do I come in with regards to these pests?”

A smile spread over Miyuki’s face as she hummed, “We want to test out implementing the qualities we find... interesting... into something that acts for us. Just to test how Irken DNA will react to trying to... meld it... with another that has naturally destructive qualities to us. Essentially w-“

Shep had connected the dots and cut her off excitedly crying out, “You want me to create an Irken-Ray hybrid?!”  
Her eyes shot wide open as a manic grin split across her face, antennae wavering with the building energy, Shep bouncing on the balls of her feet now as the possibilities flashed through her mind. 

The other two regarded her with a mild amusement and curiosity before Tallest Miyuki smiled smugly, “See you get it. Yes, in short, a hybrid.”  
Shep squealed as Miyuki continued, “Many might see this as a crime against our kind, a sort of, dirtying of our image, to say the least. Yet, if we are to survive as a race, we must be adaptable in order to destroy all other inferior life forms. So to come across a creature that naturally can challenge us without actively seeking to, imagine the threat of a race that seeks to utilize such weaknesses to try and topple our great empire. And that would be such a pity, wouldn’t it?”

Spork tapped his claws together as he tilted his gaze towards the scientist as well, “A real pity indeed.”

Shep nodded frantically, “Quite! An adaptive race is a hardy race! When do I begin? Will I receive one of these creature’s body in order to dissect and further build understanding of it or will I primarily be dealing with purely DNA and the genetics of a hybrid smeet? Will I be receiving the private reports on these and Irken biology as well? Wha-“

Miyuki held up a claw and Shep shut her mouth as quickly as she’d opened it, attentively as her Tallest smirked, “Everything and anything you will need will be sent to your lab through our best means of doing so. We want this done right. So as so, we will be giving you, significant time to see if it even is possible.”

The Tallest glanced at Spork before she paused to dust off her outfit. 

Spork glanced over at Shep and then leaned forward after swiping something off a near shelf, “Here’s your new I.D., it will cover most of your access and you will be receiving further data and information on private communications and detailings of your mission after we get you settled.”

Shep nodded as she clutched the new I.D. to her chest, body rigid and tense as she listened and watched. 

After a moments pause, Tallest Miyuki gazed back down at Shep, “For now, I’d say that’s about it. Though let this be clear, when and if a successfully experiment survives, it will be terminated soon after and you will be reassigned to further missions we see fit to assign you to. So, will you-“

Shep cut her off with an excited squeal, “I accept this mission! I am honored and I see no issue in the termination of the project! It is merely to test the theory of a possibility, no? So anything for you my Tallest! Can I start now?!”

Spork shot Miyuki a look but she merely waved him off with a chuckle, “Well you certainly have initiative. We will get your currently shared lab materials cleared out and set into your new lab. Once we send word, you can go ahead and start with it. The sooner, the better. That I. D. will allow you to get more information for now to get your bearings. Now off you go.”  
She made a brief shooing motion with an amused grin, watching as the scientist saluted before rushing off muttering excitedly to herself. 

When the door closed, she glanced at Spork, “This’ll be interesting.”

Spork shrugged before chuckling, “If you say so.”


	2. Failure Again and Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shep runs into failure after failure.

Shep had been working from the moment her new lab had been set up, time blurring as her mind whirled and buzzed with calculations and data.   
She wasn’t expecting this to be frank, she’d expected something... well she wasn’t sure what she expected. But this? This was intriguing. It was fascinating. It was all hers.

And this made her cackle, this feeling of superiority, like she alone held the power while all anyone else could do was wait on her will and whim.

Even her leader was waiting for her, her antennae curling with the thought as she ran a claw through her data.  
With a glance outside her window, she knew that beyond Vort, Tallest Miyuki was waiting. Waiting to see what Shep did with no ability to rush or take the work from her. Not in the way that would matter, anyways.

Shep felt like she was the only one that mattered. 

And it gave her an odd feeling in her squeedlyspooch and she felt her antennae twitch.

Was this what it was like for the Tallest? 

Was this why Tallest Miyuki carried herself with such ease and stunning confidence? Gliding along those around her with the power of a brilliant light as all others were barely comparable to faint embers? 

She loved it.

Shep shuddered and shook her head. Focusing back to her task as she blinked out of her haze, her pak clicking as it presented her with tools and data charts.   
She squinted down at her work and peered through the microscope before leaning back to check her given data before nodding. Things were seeming easy to set up once she’d analyzed and tested on the DNA samples given to her.

She would have to wait for a corpse. But she could wait.   
Shep breathed out softly and nodded to herself. She could wait indeed.

Flicking her googles on after briefly adjusting her coat and gloves, Shep dived back into her work with a manic grin curling along her face once more.

She was going to blow Tallest Miyuki away with her discoveries and work. She would prove she was the best of the best. All would know her. And her chest filled with an odd warmth at the thought of that pride. 

Of course she was the best.  
And she always would be.

~

It had been some time since Shep had had a success. This was the 16th attempt at an Irken-Ray hybrid and she was feeling a mild panic settling.

She could not fail.  
She would not fail.

But things were not seeming that way. Because despite her work, Ray DNA was more aggressive towards Irken DNA then she had imagined. Even a dead body of one of the creatures had shown odd properties that she hadn’t been expecting.

But here she was, stubbornly working along.

She thought she would have this done within the year, but as time stretched, and her experiments either failed altogether or died, things were settling badly in her squeedlyspooch. 

With a sigh, Shep stepped away from her graphs and readings to briefly glance over the latest hybrid specimen she’d created.   
It was barely much of a smeet, showing too many oddities in what she was nervously worrying would cause complications in the small creature’s functions and survival. 

It was just too small. Much too small. 

Floating in an otherwise empty chamber, the eerie green liquid casting a strange glow as her lab lights flickered through it.   
It made her feel small herself. As though everything she’d worked towards was truly worthless and meaningless.

Like she was truly m- her thoughts were cut off with a sharp beeping. And her antennae shot up before they flattened as she scrambled towards the capsule, a red light glaring up at her as she looked around for the problem.

Her eyes locked onto the data spewing out and she saw that somehow, the brain of the creature was dying. Her gaze swung to the smeet and she saw it begin to jerk, twitching in unnatural and painfully stiff ways.

Her mouth gaped open as she desperately typed into her computer, trying to figure what was happening and why it was happening. But before she could do anything more, the movement stopped and the beeping turned into a deep, soft droning sound. 

Shep swallowed drily and grimaced as she looked to the newest failure, and there it was, limp and still.

Much too still.

Her pak legs extended from her pak and Shep snarled as she threw a fist against the glass, a bloom of pain burning through her arm before she let it slide to lay limp by her side.   
Her breathing raced and she gritted her teeth before yelling, “WHY?!”  
She tugged at an antennae and swung around to her work space again, typing something briefly on her computer before swinging to check through the newest data.

Her antennae laid flat against her head as she dragged her gloved claws across her face, muttering to herself before letting her pak legs carry her back to the capsule.   
With the brief tap of a button, the capsule became cleared up as the liquid drained, and she stared narrowly at the dead experiment. Something in her tightened and a wave of fury burned through her before she marched off again.

Back to the drawing board. And this time she was determined to get this right.   
She would do this! 

She had to.

So as she glanced through her previous failures, she focused all attention to why they had failed, teeth gritted with a new determination now. 

She was not going to back down.  
Shep was the best of the best.  
She had to win. She had to.

Shep sighed, and muttered to the empty lab, “Lets try this again.”


	3. Success and Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally being successfully in her mission, Shep realizes things aren’t as great as she’d hoped.

Shep was staring wide eyed at the smeet before her. And it stared back, attentively and with a wide grin that showed off teeth much too sharp for a normal smeet.

Number 17 had been the lucky number.  
She had done it.

And she had no clue how to deal with this. And the smeet seemed content just to watch her as she tried to wrap her mind around what this meant.

Then she raised herself up in her pak legs and pumped her fists into the air with a yell of, “I WIN!”

The smeet blinked up at her before it seemed to get an idea, carefully using its arms to stand up, wobbling as a small tail whipped behind it. It blinked a few times and Shep leaned towards it, watching it with sharp eyes and a hopeful grin.

Then the smeet straightened up and gazed up at her, it’s small antennae waving about, as it blinked red eyes that matched her own.

Shep smiled and carefully leaned down to pick it up, the smeet seemed to enjoy the contact and in an instant it’s tail wrapped around her wrist, and it’s arms, four of them, hugged her tightly. 

And for a moment, Shep let it. The scientist observing the small green creature before noting the odd little things she would have to report on.

1\. It had four arms with the top two having four clawed digits that seemed to hook downwards at the end while the bottom ones only had three with the middle claw being the largest with a much sharper downward hook to it.  
2\. Each antennae had a small spine raising off the base of it. The spine having a slight blue tint to it though the antennae themselves seemed relatively normal, though perhaps a little longer than should be.  
3\. Around the hip area, the back and tail had a small row of tiny spines, though as Shep ran a claw down it, they seemed dull.  
4\. The legs arched backwards in a way that reminded her of a Vortain with two hooked claws on each foot.  
5\. The teeth, while connected and overall nearly identical to any other Irken’s, had sharp points where an other Irken’s teeth would be flat.  
6\. She hadn’t attached a pak to it. And yet it had gained conscience and was fully functional. 

She breathed deeply before letting out a breathless laugh. She’d done it.  
This had to be it. 

But what if...?  
What if this was temporary. Earlier in her experiments, her 8th hybrid had been awake and functional just like this one before it’s major organs began to shut down randomly and in quick succession.  
She had thought that was it, but here she was, holding her 17th attempt at a hybrid. 

She swallowed and quickly walked along towards her computer, settling the small smeet into a medical scanner, quickly setting up a scan in order to observe its vitals as she readied the pak she’d created for the thing.

But as she hurriedly along, the clicking of her pak legs echoing softly throughout, she couldn’t help but drift back towards the smeet. 

She wouldn’t admit it, but she was scared.

She didn’t want to deal with another dead smeet. It made something tighten painfully in her squeedlyspooch and made her feel as though she was the one dying.

It didn’t help that this smeet was, biologically, the closet to her. Almost 68% of its DNA had come from her. And she didn’t know how to feel about that as she saw many of her own features mirrored in the hybrid.

But Shep merely shook herself and continued with her work. She’d deal with these feelings later. If she wanted this thing to survive, she had to be ready to jump to action if something happened.

She was not loosing another smeet.  
She didn’t know how she would deal with it.

And that made her feel weak.  
And it scared her.  
It enraged her.

And yet, each minute that passed with the continued survival of the smeet, the more she felt validated in this.

It was confusing to say the least. So she threw herself back into her work, and when the next day came with the smeet’s continued survival, she got ready to report to Tallest Miyuki. 

She had done it.  
Shep has won.

Yet, unknown to her, she had lost all the same. 

~

She had named it Zim.  
She didn’t know what possessed her to do so, but she had named it either way.

And she was exited to show Zim off, and the smeet seemed equally as eager, happily clutching her hand with one of its own as it rested its head against her arm, an antennae lightly tapping her sleeved arm as though to make sure she was still there.

She wouldn’t admit it, but Sheb really was absolutely ecstatic to show off Zim. The smeet was a trouble maker and absolutely brilliant, having somehow caused a blackout within her lab, and if her lab hadn’t had its own routing and system, Zim might have caused even more havoc.

And Shep couldn’t be more proud. Because while it had been chaos and she might have nearly strangled the smeet right then and there, for it to have caused such without injury to itself or her, that was something interesting. 

And she loved having some new and curious in her life. Maybe Zim would further develop his skill to something more purposeful, though as he developed would he develop more of the Ray aggressive tendencies or possible advanced planning abilities? Or would his mind develop more towards that of the Irken might now that he had his own pak to offer more support to his growing body?

There was so much to learn! So much to show off to her Tallest! 

She smiled widely as she unconsciously squeezed the smeet’s hand, Zim leaning into the contact with a soft rumble that went unnoticed as Shep’s mind drifted elsewhere.

And then, before she knew it, she was there, taking a deep breath as she paused in front of the door. Zim glanced at her and blinked curious eyes at her before his antenna perked attentively.  
Shep smiled and slid her I.D. through the identification slot before the door opened before her. She was kinda glad she’d been moved now that she thought of it, because if she had been back in her old lab station, there would have been eyes everywhere.

This was a project only for the Tallest. So as she entered the room with Zim following along, her chest puffed up with pride as her eyes locked onto Tallest Miyuki, her gaze briefly looking over at Spork, before she hurried to stand before her Tallest.

Bowing her head and saluting, Shep couldn’t help the grin stretching across her face as she purred out, “My Tallest.”

Miyuki glanced down at Shep with a look of intrigue before cooly glancing over Zim, before with that cold silky voice of hers, she said, “So you did it. It’s not quite what I was expecting, but it seems to be functional.”

Shep nodded, “He is showing great promise as well. A tougher than normal skin that should help protect from substances that may harm a normal Irken’s more sensitive skin, able to survive functionally without a pak, he-“

Spork cut her off, “He?”

Shep paused before frowning in confusion, “Huh?”

Spork pointed at Zim, “You called it a ‘he’.”

Tallest Miyuki twitched an antennae before narrowing her gaze on Zim, “Whatever you call it, I would hope you have already forwarded the data and information?”

Shep frowned for a moment feeling something uncomfortable shift within her before nodding with an uneasy smile, “Uh, yes, my Tallest!”

Miyuki nodded before humming as she turned away towards another doorway, “Well you can go ahead and terminate it then.”

Everything froze and Shep felt Zim stiffen beside her before she dumbly muttered, “What?”

Miyuki paused, glancing back with a raised eye ridge, her antennae lowering slightly, “Its purpose is served. Your mission is done. And now you can terminate the hybrid. Did I misspeak or were you not paying any attention when you agreed to this?”

The Tallest stalked towards her and leaned down uncomfortably close to Shep, Spork watching with a smug smirk as the scientist flinched back. Zim made a soft sound and Miyuki turned to regard him with a pitying smile, “Or do I have to do it for you?”

Shep unconsciously stepped forward, face going blank, “My Tallest, if I’m allowed to be bold, I request more time to study the experiment to see if there are further properties or uses that such a hybrid could serve it utilized in the future.”

Tallest Miyuki narrowed her gaze before straightening mildly, tapping a claw on her chin, “Is that so?”

Shep swallowed and nodded, aware of Spork glaring at her and Zim’s death grip on her hand. After a long beat of silence, Tallest Miyuki seemed to think it over.

Then she shrugged, “Fine. I will give you a few more weeks. But afterwards, I will personally arrive at your lab to watch you terminate it. And if you fail to listen then, I won’t hesitate to be rid of you. We already have your work on record as well as your memories for creating the experiments. We don’t need you. So don’t make yourself more trouble than what you’re worth.”

Shep stared at Miyuki wide eyed as the taller Irken leaned closer with bared teeth, “Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?”

The scientist held her gaze and nodded before fully bowing her head, “Yes, my Tallest.”

The tension in the room broke and Miyuki laughed, “Very well. Come along, Spork. We have things to attend to.”

She turned away and as Shep let out a soft breath of relief, the Tallest sharply turned and snarled, “Do not make me regret this.”

Then she was gone, Spork pausing time cast Shep and Zim a look before following after.

And once they were gone, Shep let her face drop, breathing becoming sharp and rapid. She could feel Zim looking up at her and when she glanced down, she was shocked to see a clear liquid welling up and trickling down his face. 

Then quietly, ever so quietly, the smeet asked, “Did Zim do something wrong?”

Shep let out a breath and shook her head, softly she said, “No. But the Tallest made a mistake. And I’m not letting that go.”

The scientist bared her teeth in a sharp grin, “Let’s go. We have things to do.”

Zim’s antennae perked slightly and he gave Shep an intrigued look sensing that they were going to be doing something... interesting.  
He blinked and grinned back, of course Shep wouldn’t get rid of him! He was the great Zim! Zim bared his teeth and allowed himself to be led back to the lab.

This was going to be interesting. Shep has a mad twinkle in her eye and Zim felt thrilled at the sight.

They were going to do something big. And no one was going to stop them.


	4. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shep meddles with things and Zim does likewise.

Zim watched Shep pace with wide, curious eyes. The scientist had launched herself into a frenzy as she darted around the lab, pak legs extended as she muttered and talked to herself.  
She had been like this for at least a week now and Zim still had no clue what was happenings.   
Zim just watched. He was intrigued about what they would be doing, but he could hardly process the onslaught of information the scientist was going on about.  
So he wandered closer and decided that he was bored of waiting as he perked up his antennae and loudlyasked, “What are we doing? What are you doing? What does Zim get to do?”

Shep paused, freezing up, before she gazed down at him. She blinked a few times before picking him up with one arm as she walked over to type something into the computer, “I’ve been figuring stuff out. Trying to see what would be the best steps while keeping my mind busy enough so my pak doesn’t record and send the wrong things that might jeopardize my work. I... seem to have...” she typed briefly into her computer and her antenna shot straight up, “oh... I’ve wasted a week.”

Zim blinked up at her tugged on her lab coat, “Eh? But what are we going to be doing nooooowwww??? Zim’s boreddddd!”

Shep raised an eye ridge and perked up an antenna before sighing as she briefly checked something on the screen that extended from her pak.   
After a pause she seemed to nod and replied, “Well first I need to deal with data being sent out by my pak. If we’re doing something... big, it may be... hmmm... how do I say? It might be easy for others to catch up.”

Zim nuzzled into the lab coat as Shep unconsciously stroked one of his antenna softly, the smeet melting at the contact before asking curiously, “Huh? Catch up?”

Shep muttered something under her breath as her eyes darted towards the screen again, before turning that crimson gaze back towards him with a nod.   
She waved out the hand that had been petting him and Zim watched the appendage fling about as she said, “Something like this can obviously get us killed. Deactivated. Terminated. Whatever term you want to use for them dealing with us as seen fit.”  
Zim blinked as Shep pointed a claw in his face, “You shouldn’t even be alive right now, so we’re already standing in a bad place. I’m further compromised due to being the one to create you. I’m also much easier to get rid of then you. So that’s... concerning.”

Zim furrowed his brow before crying out with a determined grin, “Pfff! Zim is the greatest! Zim will destroy any foolish enough to mess with you, the Shep!”

He gave a cackle that warmed Shep’s heart before she sighed and stated simply, “Well that’s the issue, as I said, I am much easier to kill. And not only due to new weapons being designed to terminate rouges and defects within the empire, but also due to my pak.”

Zim whined, “But I got a pak, too!”

She shrugged, her pak legs lifting them up again as the spider-like limbs carried them to a workstation, “Yes, but you technically do not actively require it to live. Mines off for more than 10 minutes? Dead. And then I’m nothing.”   
She clicked on some tools and set Zim down, ignoring his whine of ‘noooo pick Zim up again!’ before she poked lightly at his own pak, “Your pak allows for your body to take in what it needs, but since you are more adaptable as a result of your hyrbid genetics, if it were to be taken off, you could still survive as long as you actively worked to care for yourself.”

Zim bit his lip before curiously and innocently saying, “Hmm... so Zim is the superior Irken then?”  
Shep gave him an amused look before shrugging, this causing Zim to light up. Then he pumped his two top arms in the arm with his little hands clenched into fists as he yelled excitedly, “I AM THE ALMIGHTY ZIIIMMM!”

The scientist stared down at her creation and patted him on the head grinning widely, “Well don’t forget who created the almighty Zim!”

Zim stared up at her wide eyed before grinning sharply, head butting her leg affectionately with a hum of, “Fine. And you’re the ALL COOL SHEP! Best Irken scientist! I’ll be the best... best...”  
He seemed to think it over and begun to mutter to himself as Shep turned back to her work space and typed in the commands for the computer to take off her pak.

With a mild exhale as she felt it disconnect from her body, she tapped Zim on the head and his gaze shot up towards her attentively, she smiled as she pointed across the room, “I need to deal with this part by myself, I need you to guard the lab from any intruders. Got it? We’re doing top secret stuff.”

Zim squealed with excitement before he bared his teeth with a bloodlust she hadn’t quite expected from a smeet before he ran off with a yell of, “NONE CAN STAND TO THE MIGHT OF ZIMMMM!”

She hurriedly swung back to her work with her creation distracted and worked to alter the data sent from her pak, pulling up the diagrams and systematics of the device sent to her for her project. It had been determined that she would have to have such data since she would have to structure a pak for an Irken hybrid.  
How well this was coming together she thought as she watched the life timer tick down in the corner of her eye. She was honestly a little bit surprised that she still had access to this. 

But it would all work for her favor.

She smirked and flicked down her googles.

~

Zim was running around excitedly, he had been given a mission! And he would do this perfectly because he was just that great!

And Shep has agreed! 

She had agreed that he was the almighty Zim and this made his chest burn with excitement and joy, his pak whirling and clicking behind him as he began doing laps around the lab, squinting and watching for anything at all.

Nothing would get by his superior vision, clearly he would spot anything out the ordinary. 

He peered around corners with narrowed eyes, looking up at vents for anything amiss, before diving under a nearby table.

And that’s when he noticed an old piece of equipment laying there and immediately got sidetracked from his mission. 

He scrambled towards the thing and began inspecting it with perked antennae and a lashing tail. 

This was his now.

The thing, as inspected by Zim with delicate claws, looked sort of like a robot, gray eyes staring lifeless lay back him. Zim bared his teeth and his antenna perked as he scrambled away from his prize.  
So after dashing over to Shep and asking for some tools, the scientist absently handing him a heavy box before returning fully to her work, sparks flying from her pak as she used a pair of tweezers on the wiring.   
Zim paused to watch wide eyed as he struggled with the box before dashing off again, his tail trailing behind him. As Zim dashed under the table again, he set the tools down heavily before he sat down and begun to tinker with the thing.  
Zim supposed nothing bad would come of this distraction, so as long as Shep didn’t realize he had diverted from his mission, everything would be fine, right?

~

Shep had replaced her pak for the last time with a great sigh of relief as she felt a surge of energy spike through her, easing her breath and helping her hands loose that nervous tremor.

She always hated messing with her pak, always having a secret fear that even when reattached, the life clock would continue to tick down.  
But she was fine. Everything had gone along smoothly in such a fashion it made her feel paranoid that things were too good, that at any moment someone would discover her plot.

That someone was coming for her.

That’s when she heard footsteps fast approaching, swinging around sharply, she almost shot a pak leg out at the intruder before recognizing Zim smiling at her.

Zim stopped infront of her, barely blinking at the pak leg that hovered ready to strike in the air. He watched it retract back into the scientist’s pak before he bounced on his feet, excitedly proclaiming, “ZIM HAS A CREATED HIMSELF A MINON!”  
Then he squealed and tugged at Shep’s hand, tail wagging with the excitement of possible approval and affection as a result of his work.

Shep, however, found herself blinking, it had only been about 34 minutes since she’d begun work on her pak, taking moments to reattach the device with brief breaks before throwing herself back into her work. How had Zim thrown something together with that time and where did he gain the means to do so.  
Cautiously, Shep glanced around to see if anything had been tampered with before slowly nodding for the smeet to show her, Zim pulling her along to a long, gray table. Then he perked up his antennae and puffed up his chest, “SHEP! BEHOLD, I, THE MIGHTY ZIM, HAVE CREATED...” he paused dramatically before stating with a smug grin, “A GIR.”

Then he giggled and let go of her hand, diving under the table whispering and talking to something before springing back up as a small SIR unit dashed into view behind him.

The scientist stared before staring some more, turning to ask Zim a question before this ‘GIR’ flung itself onto Shep’s face. The scientist yelped and a pak leg shot out to hurriedly peel the thing off her face, Shep’s gaze shooting to Zim, “You made this?”

Zim stared at Shep for a while before suddenly nodding sharply before slowly shrugging and then mildly shaking his before muttering, “Eh? I guess. Zim kinda... found it? BUT! I FIXED IT!”

Shep looked at the thing and tilted her head, “Where’d you find it?”

The smeet pointed under the table before peering at her nervously, antenna flicking back as he blinked up at her, “Did Zim do good?”

Shep stared back at this GIR before turning it slowly with the pak leg’s claw, humming as the thing laid limp in her grasp, staring at her with sharp teal eyes and a dopey smile on its mechanical face.   
She tilted her head the other way before setting it down, only for the robot to immediately run off screaming. Zim and Shep watched the thing a bit more before the smeet turned back to the scientist.  
Shep sighed before patting Zim’s head, “Well it’s functional. To what degree? Not sure, but yeah. Zim did good, I guess.”

Zim beamed before sharply yelling over his shoulder, “GIR GET BACK HERE!!!”  
And to Shep’s surprise, the thing ran over with a salute and a flash of red eyes before flopping to the ground with a maniacal laugh.   
Zim smirked and straightened himself again with a prideful smile, Shep merely sighing and gave a mild smile back. 

She had a feeling she’d be getting headaches more often. 

Then Zim perked up, “Did you finish the thing with your pak? What are we doing now?”  
GIR made a sound and begun to spin on his head, but Zim’s eyes were glued to Shep’s face.

The scientist, however, merely casted a concerned glance towards the GIR before looking back down at Zim.

The way he stared at her made her feel a soft warmth in her chest, and as she spoke she could feel a smirk spread across her face, “Yes, my own mission was a success.”

Zim beamed and nodded before asking intently, “What next?”

Shep’s smirk turned into a sharp, cold smile, “Next, we’re going to frame someone with treason and murder.”

Zim’s eyes flashed with intrigue.


	5. Well. That Just Happened!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ultimate disguises and mass destruction!

Shep adjusted Zim’s coat with a sigh as she narrowed her eyes, “Do you think that’s going to stay on?”

Zim blinked up at her with those brilliant, red eyes as he waved the lab coat’s sleeves around, “I don’t know! But! THE SLEEVES CAN BE USED AS WEAPONS!”

The smeet began to cackle as he whipped the sleeves around with a wild look in his eyes as he ran around the scientist. 

Shep took a deep breath before exhaling, slowly looking away from her chaotic mess of an experiment towards the area where GIR was eating some Irken chips with loud smacking and crunching sounds. She didn’t even know SIR units could eat, where did it even go? Because he just kept shoveling more and more chips in, could the robot even taste them or was he just bored?

Was there just a mass of chewed up chips sitting inside of that thing? Would she have to clean it out?

She shuddered before shaking her head and gazing away from the robot to look tiredly at Zim, who had realized that he could button up the coat all the way up to cover almost his entire face. The smeet seemed to find this hilarious before looking at Shep, waving the coat sleeves some more before standing there attentively.  
She could barely see his eyes but she knew he was probably giving her a giant smile, his antennae perked up as he held his arms up, two arms tucked away into each sleeve.  
With a soft sigh, Shep leaned down and picked him up, adjusting the coat buttons so about half his face could be seen before making sure he was still wearing the boots she’d given him. Biting her lip, Shep absently rested her chin on the smeet’s head, Zim making a soft rumbling sound as he nuzzled against her.

It was quiet for a moment, silent beside GIR’s chewing before Zim excitedly cried out, “This disguise will work perfectly! NO ONE WILL KNOW IT IS I, ZIM, UNDER HERE AT ALL!!!”  
Then he giggled and settled down, briefly looking over at GIR before tilting his face towards Shep again.

Shep merely gazed down at him and her brow furrowed, “Zim, no one outside Tallest Miyuki and Spork know you even exist. I mean, maybe others know, I’m sure the control brains know, but you’re existence is very secret information.”

Zim hummed before waving a sleeve around, “So why does Zim have to wear this?”

Shep walked over to GIR with Zim still in her arms before reaching out with a pak claw to grab the SIR unit by his singular antenna. After a moment of the robot struggling, he went limp in her grasp and just made some weird quaking sound.  
She continued along toward one of the rooms that connected to her lab as she explained, “You have clearly noticeable oddities when compared with an average Irken. We don’t want attention. And well, as much as this sounds stupid, seeing me walking around with a scientist smeet in an oversized coat will draw less attention then just me alone walking around.”

Zim frowned before looking at where GIR was dangling from, “Why not just sneak in? Why do we have to be seen? Also, I guess they just can’t handle all of this!”  
The smeet began gesturing to himself while the SIR unit began to cheer, causing Zim to grin and nod sharply. 

Shep sighed and set GIR down in the other room before telling him to take a nap or something, walking along to lock the room off as the SIR unit flopped on his side and began to make fake snoring sounds.  
Then she peered back down at Zim, “Well, I can’t just sneak around there because one, I need to make sure you’re safe when we steal this thing because it is going to be unpredictable to figure out what will happen when it is discovered to be missing.”  
She began to walk along to gather some of her data and forms before stuffing a few odd devices into her pak as she held up two claws, “Two, I can’t leave you alone because you might blow something up and draw attention to us. And DO NOT argue with me on that fact. We both know you crave destruction, and why I may admire the initiative and passion, WE CAN NOT draw attention to ourselves at the current moment.”  
Zim huffed but stayed silent as the scientist continued, stopping infront of the lab door as she set down Zim, “Thirdly, this is too sophisticated of a security system to try and sneak around. But as a result of this I.D.,” she held the card up with a smirk, “and the overlooking of my continued powerful ranking, we can easily get into the system. Then I will go in, steal the weapon, we head off to use it, and in the chaos of the aftermath, we can lay low until things settle down and soon after, a new Tallest is appointed, unless we kill Spork, too. Then it might take longer, who knows.”

Shep tapped a claw on her chin, thinking the plan over again before nodding softly, just for Zim to interrupt her thoughts, “Eh, okay. But why am I dressed like a scientist? You have other disguises and holograms! SO WHY? HMM?”

The scientist blinked slowly at Zim before staring blankly, “You are so loud for a smeet.”

Zim’s chest puffed out as he cackled, “THE LOUDEST!”

Shep nodded softly before rubbing her face, “But uh, to get back on track, the reasoning for this disguise is a result of my reputation and more accepted mannerisms I can get away with. You see, I am... not the best at working with others. So to see me walking along peacefully with another scientist will draw eyes and attention, then others will focus on what I’m doing and saying and bleh.”  
She took a deep breath and sighed loudly, “Buuuuut, I am still a greatly respected scientist because I guess I’m one of the more sensible scientist we got. So if I’m guiding a smeet around, it would be seen as me just, you know, guiding a smeet around because I have to due to my reputation. I don’t know what there is about being respectable that makes me have to do such duties... but I, uh, I don’t know. Honestly, I... it’ll be fine.”

Zim hummed and flicked his antenna down, “Okay. I think?”

Shep shrugged as she led Zim outside, “Good enough. I mean. What’s the worst that could happen?”

~

This was the worst thing that could happen. The whole place was on fire, Shep was screaming, Zim was screaming, GIR was screaming, and things were blowing up.

Shep had the SIR unit under one arm, Zim under the other, and was using her pak legs to quickly make it to her cruiser, tossing the two in before scurrying in herself as something horrific screeched somewhere close by.

With a sharp inhale, Shep dashed for the controls and launched them out of there just as an explosion blasted behind them.

A few moments passed in silence as other space crafts passed by and Shep watched the chaos unfold.

Then, once they had exited the atmosphere, Shep stood there a moment just wide eyed before looking slowly towards Zim. Zim, still in the over sized scientist coat, stared back just as wide eyed before cringing slowly, “Uhhh, I did NOT know that button would do that!”  
Shep continued to stare at him and he whined mildly before stating, “And I had no clue it would set off those fires... that caused the building to collapse... that... helped set that thing free.”  
Shep merely continued to stare at him as one eye started to twitch before Zim slowly waved a sleeve weakly, “But uh... victory for Zim? And Shep?“

Shep covered her face with her claws and screamed into them before uncovering her face and gazing steadily at Zim.  
After a few deep and slow inhales and exhales, Shep said softly, “Either way. It is done. There’s chaos. And uh, whatever.”  
She rubbed a hand down her face before shrugging, “But, uh, I guess we do win. That’s that. Now sit down and buckle up. Do not touch anything else and for the love of the empire, please keep GIR from eating anything important.”

Zim blinked at her before nodding sharply, scurrying over to drag GIR into a chair with him before buckling himself in, antenna twitching warily as he watched Shep.

Shep, however, was trying to wrap her head around what just happened. It had seemed so simple.  
Oh how she had been mistaken.  
She slowly let out a breath before tilting the cruiser towards Irk, deciding that the chaos would drive attention away from her and Zim either way, and that she could probably get an appeal for a new lab set up when things died down.

This was fiiiine. Everything was just fine.

It may not have gone how she’d wished... but hey, they weren’t dead! So that was, uh, good she supposed.

With a nod she called over to Zim, “Welp! That could have gone better! But we are not dead!”

Zim peered at her intently before nodding meekly as he awkwardly laughed, “Yeaaah. Yay?”

GIR, on the other hand, merely started screaming, “WE BLEW THAT PLACE UP!”

The other two cringed and glanced narrowly at the SIR unit as he merely smiled back at them with that dopey grin.


	6. So Far, So Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good news and good luck, but for how long?

It had been weeks since the incident, and despite everything feared, nothing had happened.

Shep hadn’t been deactivated, Zim was still alive, and GIR was... still GIR.

Of course, it made sense with the chaos on Vort, and according to all reports and information available, no one seemed to know who or what had caused the incident, though Shep heard whisperings and rumors that it had been the Vortian’s fault.  
Because of course an Irken had nothing to do with it. Obviously. 

And this allowed for Shep to ever so slightly relax. They were still waiting on things to settle down so they could get transferred to a new assignment and leave the cruiser, but for now, things were seemingly happening in their favor.

It was great! 

So, as Shep was jolted from her thoughts by an alert for a new updated report, she was just so pleased with the current events that it took a moment for her to process what she just read. She had to reread a few times before just sitting there, processing, she wasn’t quite expecting the news she had just received.

It was a simple thing, but it made a disbelieving laugh roll out the Irken’s mouth all the same.

Tallest Miyuki was dead.

Shep reread the screen before her before slowly looking for Zim, calling him over quickly before watching as he began reading the news as well.  
His eyes trailed away towards her and the two stared at each other before laughing.  
Shep smiled broadly before stating, “Well that works incredibly well in our favor, doesn’t it?”

Zim nodded excitedly, before bluntly stating, “Zim is extremely unsettled by this!”

Shep grinned brightly, “I feel likewise but let’s not ruin this great news!”

Zim nodded before crawling into her lap, humming mildly before he chirped out a simple, “Okay, if you say so!”  
There was a pause of silence before Zim pointed at the report, “I can’t believe she gotten eaten alive.”

Behind them a low series of thuds could be heard, though after soaring a glance back, Shep looked back to her screen.   
She then merely hummed as she trailed a claw along the report, muttering under her breath as she took note of a few specific things. 

Then Zim spoke up again, tugging at one of her sleeves with his left arms, “But why did the labs have a giant space worm in the first place?”

Shep shrugged before twirling one of her antenna with a claw absently, “I have no clue, but honestly, it’s kinda of their fault if they thought something that... hmm, what would be a good word to describe that?”

Zim kicked his legs out before shrugging, snuggling closer to Shep as he muttered, “Unstable? Destructive? Monstrous?” 

The scientist sighed before nodding, “Yeah those words work. Though that kinda makes me nervous about being out here.”

She got a confused look before she elaborated, “You know, in space. And it’s a giant space worm. From space. And we’re in space. So if that thing is as powerful and destructive, then... hmm.”  
She shuffled in her seat and adjusted Zim in her lap before laying her chin on the smeet’s head, “I wonder how they even got it in the first place. I’ll have to look that up.”

Zim hummed and closed his eyes, relaxing before realizing things had gone quiet, he opened one eye and asked softly, “Where’s GIR?”

Shep paused and glanced around before noting the SIR unit had his face pressed against a wall. As she tapped Zim’s head and pointed at the oddity, they both watched in disgust as the SIR started to seemingly lick said wall.  
Zim opened both eyes and watched before looking at Shep, “At least he’s being quiet.”

Shep watched the robot some more before deciding she would have to look inside that thing’s head sometime to figure out what was up with it.   
But for now, she merely shrugged and continued on her research as Zim just curled up and fell asleep in her lap.

~

Zim was jolted awake by Shep standing up, causing him to be unceremoniously dumped onto the floor. The smeet blinked and looked up sharply and yelled, “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?”

The scientist barely spared him a glance as she dashed over to something behind him. With a growl and sputter of annoyance, Zim jumped up and glanced over as well, just to watch GIR run around with what seem to be a wrench in hand.  
As Zim squinted at the scene and perked his antenna up, he realized that the robot was whacking himself in the head with said tool creating a series of loud, hollow sounding thunks and clanks.  
As he sighed and stood up, Zim placed his lower set of arms on his hips and screamed, “GIR STOP DOING WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING! IT’S DUMB!”

And GIR actually paused before he glanced over at Zim with a gleeful squeal before Shep pounched on the robot from above, having slowly been using her pak legs to maneuver above the robot.

The two instantly went tumbling as Shep tried to snatch the tool from GIR, the SIR unit screaming and wailing loudly when it left his grasp making Zim tug at his own antenna in annoyance. THIS IS WHY HE’D BEEN DENIED HIS NAP? This was dookie.

So the smeet marched over and watched the two narrowly before plopping down to watch. His tail twitched behind him as he watched GIR latched onto Shep’s leg, still screaming his head off as the Irken scientist shot Zim a look that clearly said ‘HELP ME.’ 

But Zim had decided that he was going to be petty.   
Shep had dumped him on the floor, so she’d have to deal with his minion’s antics until he decided otherwise. So Zim stood up, the top two arms crossed while he used his bottom two to help him stand up. Then he shrugged as his tail lashed behind him.

Shep gave him a narrowed glare that promised vengeance before she tried to detach the SIR unit from her person with a stream of Irken curses.

Zim let her deal with it before stalking along with his head held high, scrambling up back into Shep’s chair before curling up with a content sigh. Whatever. He was going back to his nap.

And to the sounds of Irken screaming and cursing overlapped with the pathetic sobbing and babbling of an insane SIR unit, Zim fell asleep once more.

~

It was days later after Shep had received news about the Space Worm Incident when she finally got permission to return to Irk.

As a result of the chaotic mess, as well as several dangerous and extremely unpredictable experiments escaping or being stolen from the destroyed labs, Irk had been slowly checking over each ship that requested re-entry. This being a combined issue of possibly unintentionally bringing something dangerous back with them or the possibility of purposefully trying to re-enter with stolen property or experiments.

This check-in, when first informed about it, had Shep on edge. So much so, to the point that on being told her ship would need to be checked, she almost launched the cruiser into deep space as a result of paranoia that after all her work, Zim would still be terminated.   
But, surprisingly, as she answered the call by the Irken at the check-in blockade, when she nervously gave her name, barely anyone blinked an eye. She was merely pointed to an area to wait at before she was approached by two more space crafts, a much sleeker and aerodynamic appearing design then her own cruiser.   
And yet, even as the other Irkens boarded the ship, while they gave GIR and Zim a curious glance, they almost automatically returned to investigating the ship with scanners and odd devices that flashed out blue and green lights.

It seemed that due to the new promotion earned by Spork in the wake of Miyuki’s death, he had completely cast her and her experiments from mind, choosing to focus on getting to dealing with a panicked public and to get things back on track. 

And while Shep was kinda insulted that she was barely recognized, she couldn’t help but let out a silent sigh of relief as she explained to the check-in Irkens, when one finally asked about the smeet, that Zim was just a simple genetic mutation she had been researching.   
They did some brief checking on her background, and as a result of the secrecy of Zim’s creation, they merely came across previous missions of hers.   
One of the Irkens, an abnormally short one with light olive skin hummed mildly as she breezed through the data on the scientist before giving a grunt of, “All good to go or whatever.”

Then the other Irkens left without barely another word, hurrying to check off the next approaching vessel.

And Shep was finally back on Irk.   
And no one was none the wiser to her or Zim’s involvement in the mass destruction and the death of the Tallest.   
Shep grinned and let herself fully relax as she eased her cruiser to a landing, taking a moment to just breath and smile to herself.

That was, before she heard a crash and Zim yelling, “GIR DID IT, NOT ZIM!”

The scientist closed her eyes and took a deep breath before getting up to see what the hell those two had done now.


	7. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New lab, new disguise, and old memories

Shep gazed around at her new lab with a bittersweet smile, Zim clutching her hand with his own as he followed her gaze. 

The scientist was, well to say the least, kinda disappointed.  
This lab was much smaller and compact when compared with the last one, but seeing as everything had gone straight to chaos and the such, she couldn’t get picky about her new setting.

After all, Shep was lucky to even still be here.

Within this last month alone, she had created hybrid life, committed treason by altering the data sent by her pak, was involved with the incident that resulted in the death of a Tallest, and managed to get not only a new lab back on Irk without anyone discovering a thing, but also a new assignment.

And she allowed herself to feel ever so slightly smug about this.

This would be just alright.

She still had Zim, and with that GIR robot, Zim would hopefully get distracted by its bizarre and spontaneous actions, enough so that he hopefully didn’t blow something up anytime soon.

Then Zim spoke up and brought her out of her musings as he tugged at her sleeve, “So what now? You got a lab again. And I think I’m not going to die anytime soon? So what now?”

Shep sighed softly and looked down at him, the smeet currently dressed up in a purple tunic that hid his lower two arms as it covered most of his small form, his large eyes hidden behind a pair of goggles she’d found for him, and his hands hidden by a pair of large gloves. Shep had decided that if the smeet was to stick around with her, she’d probably have to dress him up so he’d be less exposed to anything dealt with in the lab, as well as hiding some of his hybrid features until she could get a holo-band set up that would work with his odd biology.

Shep then shrugged as she stroked one of his antenna before stating firmly, “For now, we just do as we’re told. Work on assignments given, lay low, and the such.”

Zim fiddled with one of the gloves before pouting, “Whhhhhhyyyyy? THAT SOUNDS SO... LIKE DOOKIE!”

Shep sighed and picked him up, finding that he was usually much quieter and attentive when she did so.  
And as predicted, the smeet’s form went lax in her grasp before she asked, “What would you rather us do then? Hmm? Because like it or not, we can’t cut ourselves off from the empire.”

Zim shifted in her grasp and hummed as he leaned into her, “But why not?”

The scientist sighed before walking along to briefly check on GIR, the SIR unit being much too quiet as she waved a hand with her explanation, “We can’t just go off unprepared. Like it or not, we still need materials and resources from the empire that only they can provide.”

She sighed again, “As well, I don’t know how your genetics are going to develop, and how I may need to take care of you as you develop. Because you are, like what? Only a few weeks old or something?”

Zim huffed and crossed his exposed two arms before pricking his antenna, “Zim guesses so. But why not just... eh... I dunno, go somewhere else?”

Shep glanced at him before sighing, “Things are just too unpredictable for now. We just have to be careful, okay?”

Zim growled something under his breath before shrugging as Shep discovered GIR had somehow crawled into a glass tube and was stuck.

She pinched the bridge of her face, the two small, and nearly invisible, nostrils above her mouth inhaled a deep breath before she set Zim down to go find a saw to cut the robot out.

Zim watched her retreating form shuffle off before looking at GIR with a huff, “This is doodie.”

GIR giggled, “Doodie doodie doodie!”

He began to spin in place with the continued chant of ‘Doodie dOOdie DoODiE DOODIE!’

Zim sighed and without another word or glance at the stuck robot spinning in place, he wandered off to explore the ventilation system of the lab.

Because that sounded like a fun idea.

~

Nearly a year had passed since they had gotten settled into the new lab.

And things had provened to be staying in their favor with Spork continuing the rein of the empire as he whipped the Irken population back into a stability with little regards or mind to Shep or Zim.

The two had actually managed to even stay under the radar, though a few odd and destructive events that had happened under mysterious circumstances on Irk over this period of time may or may not have to do with them.  
But otherwise, things were alright.

Shep, infact, was currently working on a new and more streamline design for the common blaster with Zim attentively watching as she explained the process of weapon building. 

Zim himself had grown incredibly fast during this period of time, now about the same height as the Irken scientist, though overall he had stayed the same loud, egotistic Zim he’d been all that time ago when he was still a rather small smeet.

Shep wouldn’t actively admit it, but she was mildly concerned at Zim’s growth because some of the Ray DNA had made itself more known in the recent year with the development.  
Some of these being the emergence of Zim’s peculiar ability to create a strange electric charge with his claws, the mildly concerning increased sharpness of his back and tail spines (the tail itself developing into a fine and muscular whip-like appendage with a peculiar tuff of spined skin at the end), along with the strange iridescent blue and gold coloration that had stretched from the skin behind his antenna to his back and then to even along his tail.

As well, compared with a normal Irken smeet, it took almost 10 years for a smeet to develop to such a point where they had grown enough and learned enough where they could actively defend themselves. 

Zim had done so in one. 

The hybrid having unexpectedly exceeded in both these instances with quite some ease. As well, from what she taught him and what he had found out for himself, Zim seemed to be quite able and capable of surviving if Shep decided she was done with him. 

Though that was unlikely to happen for four primary reasons:

1\. Shep wasn’t going to admit it, but she was incredibly attached to Zim and was quite willing to die to keep him safe.

2\. Zim was incredibly easy to distract and extremely curious as a result of not being completely loyal and dedicated to the empire, meaning he was a rather big danger to himself when he wanted to mess around and tinker with things.

3\. Shep was sure that if she wasn’t there to keep him out of trouble, Zim probably would have gotten into big trouble on Irk.

4\. If Shep was being honest, she was about 100% sure Zim would have destroyed or severely damaged Irk by now in some shape or form. 

Things had surely changed and to be honest, Shep was a tad unsure what to do about that.  
At least some things stayed the same, like GIR.

Honestly he was exactly the same. Shep did not want to mess with that thing because like it or not, she could not figure out for the whole of the empire what was wrong with it. 

Also, the robot was kinda creepy.  
But rather harmless. So meh, whatever.

The issue that came now though, was with the fact about Zim’s recent developments.

Because Shep could not simply hide him away as she used to because while it was easier to hide the fact that a smeet was living with her, it was much harder with a growing and incredibly curious Zim. Trying to get Zim to stay still and quiet was like trying to tell GIR not to eat something, the more you did it and the more time went by, the more he just couldn’t help it. 

And so, came the time that Shep finally got around to finishing a holo-band for Zim.

And if this holo-band worked, she could introduce Zim into Irken society with little issue or error as a result of his peculiarities.  
Because, even though she had brought him to Irk with little issue, she doubted her excuses would work this time. Because that had been a stressful time where a weird smeet would be overlooked with ease as Irkens tried to identify the more probable and immediate threats of smuggled weapons and dangerously unpredictable experiments.

A seemingly grown Irken with four arms and a tail along with several other peculiar and strange features and abilities? 

That was not going to go by so easily. 

Especially if it was Zim, who let’s all admit it, was as subtle as the Irken empire’s desire for conquest.

Which to say bluntly, he didn’t have the capability for.

So that’s how Shep found herself leaving Zim to tinker with the blaster (she had deactivated its ability to fire or start up for the time being) to prepare for how she’d reveal Zim. 

The holo-band itself, was not an overly complex piece of equipment and was a rather useful one.

Though, it was also a rather picky one. The device itself looked like a small black band with a red Irken symbol on it.  
The device was primarily used for disguises on other worlds and the such, though she had known a few Irkens that had used one to give themselves a few inches of further height or some minute detail such as a paler skin tone or darker eye color.

The only problems?

The band, while it could be cloaked, could easily be identified as being on an Irken’s person by a number of devices. And secondly, it was equipped to only be matchable to Irken biology and Irken technology.

Meaning, in short, that it was going to be a pain in the ass to make it work 100% and accurately for Zim.

But Shep knew that most Irkens didn’t really care about its usage, and if the band failed, she could also have Zim wear a physically disguise to hide some of the more peculiar things as a back up. She just hoped that as a result of Zim being more Irken, the band would adjust to him better.

But to be on the safe side, “ZIM GET IN THE MEDICAL SCANNER I NEED TO HAVE A LOOK AT YOUR DNA AND STUFF!”

Shep heard Zim squeak, followed by the sound of something crashing to the floor before hearing him shout back, “SHEP!!! YOU MADE ZIM DROP THE THINGY!! AND DO I HAVE TO?!”

There was a pause before Shep opened her mouth to yell back, just for GIR to scream from somewhere else in the lab, “I LIKE SCREAMINGITSSOMUCHFUN!!!!! WEEEEEEEEWOOOOOWEEEEEEEERE!”

Shep huffed, rubbing an antenna as the robot continued to scream, before she realized the sound was getting closer. With a tired look over her shoulder, Shep watched as the SIR unit ran by her, flinging himself into a nearby closet.

There was a pause before Shep finally yelled back as she headed towards the piece of equipment with the holo-band in hand, “ZIM JUST DO IT!”

She heard a loud whine before she heard footsteps following after her, though the Irken and hybrid did pause to glance at the closet the SIR unit had gone into as a weird, low buzzing started to sound from it.

Zim shrugged as he glanced at Shep before continuing on his way. 

Shep just sighed and after a moment of just waiting for something to blow up or something like that, she finally followed after to find Zim had crawled into the pod-like device already. 

He glanced over at her, pouting at her before plucking at the lab coat and purple tunic he was wearing with his right, gloved claws.

Shep smiled at him sweetly and the hybrid frowned before leaning his head back all the way, his tail flicking slightly as he got it in a comfortable position. Then when Zim had settled as much as he could, his spines and pak sinking into the foamy, semi-solid bedding of the pod, making him giving an uncomfortable grimace, Shep flicked on the main scanner.

A whirling sound hummed from the pod as a number of lights suddenly flashed out, going the full length of his body, head to tail, before repeating. 

Green for the skeleton, blue for muscular, red for nervous system, etc.

When it was done, Shep read over his charts and data before comparing it with his latest scanning from a month or so ago, seeing if anything had changed much. 

Seeing as Shep had what she wanted, Zim pressed the release button from inside and waited as the pod adjusted from a horizontal layout to a vertical one, allowing him to better wiggle himself out before he wandered over to Shep.

Shep was humming and biting her lip as her antenna twitched and leaned forward, Zim peered over the scientist’s shoulder and glancing over the picture charts before shrugging and head butting her in the shoulder for attention.

Shep unconsciously reached out a hand and patted Zim’s head as she scanned his results. Zim rumbled and leaned into the contact with a blissful expression.

He stayed like this for awhile as Shep rubbed the skin along his antenna and stroked his head gently before the hybrid eventually eased himself away.

Seeing as the scientist was so absorbed in her work, he decided he might as well finish the project given to him so he’d have it ready to show her later. And so after a pause to make sure he wasn’t needed for anything else, Zim excitedly dashed off back to his work as Shep continued her own.

That was, after making sure GIR didn’t blow up or something.

~

It was hours later when Shep finally finished up with the holo-band.

The scanning itself was done rather quickly, and while Shep found the data was easily uploaded into the computer and connected to the holo-band, the process of actually making sure everything was in order took much longer.

It was only after a series of long commands (and an incredibly large amount of tweaks and adjustments) that the band was finally finished.

Shep just needed to get her cover story for Zim, set up the physical disguise, and he’d be good to go.

The only problem was going to be convincing Zim to actually wear the disguise and make sure he didn’t blow his own cover.

~

Zim let himself be led along by Shep, his antenna flicking up and back at all the new sights and sounds.

He wasn’t expecting Irk to be this... busy.

The pink sky was nearly completely obscured by buildings and air traffic as ships and vessels and the like zipped by. Even the air itself felt like it was busy, the breaths Zim took seeming to be taken back just as quickly as he unconsciously flinched and gasped at everything he saw and felt and heard.

It was almost too much. Irk was too much.

But Shep was there, and so he was there.

Honestly, he thought he would used to such noise as a result of living with an insane and loud GIR, but at least that was familiar.

He had spent almost all his life down in labs, and even back on Vort when everything was blowing up and collapsing, it had felt almost... calm. Like it had some order even though Zim knew that thought made no sense in the least. He was safe and with Shep and GIR was safe and back in the lab and he should feel safe so why didn’t he feel safe?

He had a disguise, heck, he technically had two on right now! He had practiced how he would talk with other Irkens, how he would blend in and yet.

He felt isolated.

Like somehow, no matter what, he wasn’t really there.

Then Shep tugged on his hand and Zim let a breath of relief flow through him as he was pulled along. He blinked wide, red eyes and glanced around again.

Zim was here. And he was disguised.

No one knew about him beside a couple of Irkens. And Spork was no where even near here from what Zim had last heard, the Tallest having been off in space where he was dealing with the armanda and hunting down the space worm, which had been spotted somewhere near Conventia.

Zim was hidden and he would be okay. So why did he feel like every glance his way saw right through him? Why did every twitch of another Irken’s antenna feel like they knew he wasn’t right? Why did each brush with another Irken as they bustled around him feel like he was being burned alive?!

Shep turned to look at him and Zim leaned towards her, eyes darting about. The scientist watched him a moment before glancing around, tugging him along towards a small building.

When he gazed around, Zim noted with relief that this area seemed to get less foot traffic and that while there were still plenty of Irkens about, he felt as though he could catch his breath.

As he tugged on one of his antenna and leaned further into Shep, he closed his eyes and felt the cool relief of Shep gently running a claw along his antenna.

Zim let out a shuddering breath as Shep whispered softly to him, “Should we head back?”

The hybrid stiffened and shook his head, “Eh? What! No! Zim is fine! I-I’m fine.”

He felt Shep lean away from him and when he opened his eyes sharply to reach out for her, she was still there and watching his reaction intently with a narrowed and pointed gaze.

Shep’s mouth tilted down into a mild frown and she perked an antenna questioningly towards him.

Zim wilted and looked away guilty before muttering, “Yes. Zim would, would very m-much like to leave.”

And then Shep’s hand was resting gently on one of his lower arms, which was invisible to any that looked their way, it seeming as though Shep was merely letting her arm droop.

As Zim reminded himself that he was disguised, not only by the physical costume he was wearing, but also by the holo-band’s hologram, he quickly moved along to follow along after Shep.

Zim began to ever so slightly feel better as they walked back in the direction they’d come from, back to the familiar cruiser that they’d take back to the lab. And this relief merely continued to build as he focused on Shep’s touch, using the contact to anchor himself from the rushing thoughts and confusing feelings, until suddenly, he was alone.

He was alone.

His head snapped up and his mouth gaped as he was shoved by someone next to him, another Irken showed up in his face, and as Zim tried to spot Shep, he was consumed by a wave of Irkens gleefully laughing and cheering. Zim didn’t know what was happening, he didn’t know where Shep was, and he was surrounded.

His breath cut off and things felt tight in his chest as he tried to shove his way through, but the crowd merely came back stronger. He couldn’t open his mouth, suddenly forgetting his disguise, and began to fear that his sharp teeth would give him away. His bottom arms clutched his tunic sharply and as he spun around in the crowd, he felt his tail getting stepped on and kicked around.

Where was he. Where Was _Zim_. WHERE WAS HE. WHERE WAS HE. WHERE WAS SHEP. HE WAS ALONE. _HE WAS_ _ALONE_.

Then, the crowd broke.

And Zim was breathing hard and ragged as he glanced around. But all eyes were pointed in one direction, antenna wagging as Irkens all around him fell silent. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Zim turned as well. And felt his eyes widen and his insides turn. 

There he was. 

Standing tall and proud, beady eyes and smug grin as he waved out towards the crowd. 

_Tallest Spork._

Tallest Spork was there. 

And Zim was alone. His eyes dashed over the crowd but he couldn’t see Shep.

His antenna twitched and he was aware the Tallest was saying something, but no matter how hard Zim tried to focus, all he heard was a loud ringing in his head.

TALLEST SPORK WAS RIGHT THERE. Zim’s teeth gritted and his antenna fell flat. SHEP WAS GONE AND ZIM WAS ALONE. His claws gripped into his tunic. IT WAS ALL THE TALLEST’S FAULT. 

Memories flashed like hot fire through Zim’s head of sharp grins and smug looks.

_Tallest Miyuki hummed as she turned away from Zim and Shep, before stating mildly, “Well you can go ahead and terminate it then.”  
_

_Zim stiffen as he heard Shep mutter a sharp and brief, “What?”  
_

_Miyuki paused, glancing back with a raised eye ridge, her antennae lowering slightly, “Its purpose is served. Your mission is done. And now you can terminate the hybrid. Did I misspeak or were you not paying any attention when you agreed to this?”_

_The Tallest stalked towards them and leaned down uncomfortably close to Shep, Spork watching with a smug smirk as the scientist flinched back._

_Zim made a soft sound and Miyuki turned to regard him with a cold, pitying smile, “Or do I have to do it for you?”_

_Those cold blue eyes stared him down before Shep stepped forward, Zim turning towards her with wide eyes as she said, “My Tallest, if I’m allowed to be bold, I request more time to study the experiment to see if there are further properties or uses that such a hybrid could serve it utilized in the future.”  
_

_Tallest Miyuki narrowed her gaze before straightening mildly, tapping a claw on her chin._

_Zim shuddered as something trailed down his face, as Miyuki asked curiously, “Is that so?”_

_Zim continued to stare at the Tallest as his breathing heaved, his chest burning as the silence grew._

_After a long beat of silence, Tallest Miyuki seemed to think it over. Then she shrugged, “Fine. I will give you a few more weeks. But afterwards, I will personally arrive at your lab to watch you terminate it. And if you fail to listen then, I won’t hesitate to be rid of you. We already have your work on record as well as your memories for creating the experiments. We don’t need you. So don’t make yourself more trouble than what you’re worth.”_

_Zim barely heard what was being said next as Miyuki leaned closer to Shep._

_He saw the scientist gaze up at Miyuki before replying, but Zim’s gaze was on Spork now.  
_

_The taller Irken stared right back at Zim with uncaring eyes, his antenna smoothing back over his emerald skin, those dark red eyes narrowing at Zim.  
_

_And all Zim could do was stare back with blurred vision and shaking breath.  
_

_Then the tension in the room broke and Miyuki laughed, causing Zim to flinch as she said, “Very well. Come along, Spork. We have things to attend to.”_

_She turned away and as Shep let out a soft breath of relief beside him, the Tallest sharply turned and snarled, “Do not make me regret this.”_

_Her eyes breezed over Zim and she smirked._

_Then she was gone, Spork pausing to cast Zim and Shep a look before following after._

Zim barely registered what happened. Spork was there infront of him. His tail was curled right around one of his ankles, and then something hissed from Zim’s pak. 

And as a pak leg slithered out and formed itself into a blaster, a blast of heat and light flashed. 

Zim watched everything happen in slow motion after that, barely realizing Shep had reappeared at his side as he watched a beam of light spiral towards Spork as the Tallest turned to smugly stare down at some of the gathered Irkens. 

And as the Tallest turned his body, it happened.

The beam flashed as it came in contact with the exposed pak, and a crash of noise echoed dully to Zim’s antenna. 

Then Spork was blinking in surprise, and there was another flash of light as Spork’s pak blew up as the beam cut right through the delicate machine. 

And then Zim was being dragged away as the crowd exploded into chaos, no one seeming to have registered what had just happened until Spork fell with barely a sound as what reminded of his pak sputtered and hissed.

And by that time, Shep had already led Zim away towards the safety of their cruiser.

But the damage was done.

And another Tallest was dead.


	8. Uh Oh, Spaghettio’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staying in the moment and trying to calm down, as well as the gang launching themselves into deep space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So I should have mentioned this earlier, but for time like years and whatever, I have actually been using Irk time. And 1 Irk year translates roughly to 10 Earth years, so yeah! I forgot to mention that like literally anywhere, but uh, yeah!  
> There will be a note at the end but back to the story! The dramaaaaaa!

Zim was trembling and staring blankly ahead as Shep dragged him into the cruiser, the scientist’s gaze looking around sharply as her antenna flicked and twitched at any nearby sound.

She wasn’t sure what had just happened to be honest. It had only been a few minutes, but it seemed to be precisely what was needed for everything to go down hill.

Zim had been right there behind her and then he wasn’t.  
And then when she found him, she watched as he essentially killed Tallest Spork with a lucky shot to the Irken’s exposed pak.

And it had only happened in a moment.  
A moment Shep hadn’t been able to change.

But now? In the aftermath?

She hadn’t planned for this. She didn’t know if anyone had seen her with Zim.  
She knew she didn’t need to be worried about them having noted Zim, after all, for even in his... condition... he still had the disguise on. So at least she could adjust the hologram to something ever-so slightly different, but would Irk believe one of their own had killed the Tallest? Or would they blame it as being responsible by some other race? What if she was overthinking it again? What if everyone had been too distracted by what was happening to look and see who had done the deed? What if they thought she had done it? 

Shep fiddled with an antenna and pulled Zim so he was facing towards her, the scientist snapping her fingers to try and get his attention. But nothing happened, Zim blinked, but otherwise he had gone stock still, his mouth slightly agape as the blaster still hung limply from his pak.  
She furrowed her brow before gently removing his holo-band, easing the machine into one of her coat pockets before glancing out the windshield again as Zim’s physically disguised self was made visible.

No one was paying attention. No one seemed to even look their way.

Zim made a soft noise but when she looked to him, he had gone still again.

Shep was surprised he had even reacted to the Tallest in such a manner. It wasn’t what she had expected.

Sure, she could care less that Spork was dead, don’t get her wrong, but what troubled her was Zim not only jeopardizing their safety here on Irk by doing as he’d done, but also by doing so where there had been plenty of witnesses! 

But either way, whether she expected it or not, Spork was dead. And that was a big issue. An issue she could not hide so easily from. An issue that could directly harm her and Zim.

This was bad. Really bad. 

She peered out the cruiser’s windshield and looked out at the Irkens gathered. Some didn’t even know that the Tallest had just been killed as they continued to walk around while others could be seen hurrying along towards where they’d fled.

She wondered briefly if they were going to try and revive Spork.

She snorted.

Ha, yeah right. He was clearly not coming back from that. The last she saw he was as still as death with nothing but sparks and a mess of charred wires and the sort sticking out his back.

But maybe this was the distraction needed? Shep looked at Zim for a moment before carefully easing him into the passenger’s seat, buckling him in as she watched his face for a moment. 

It seemed he was crying. Tears gently falling from his face as he now trembled and mumbled to himself.

Shep sighed and sat in her own seat, glancing back at Zim before easing the controls into a steady lift off. She flicked her antenna back and kept them pressed tightly against her head as they flew off.

Maybe she was overthinking. Maybe they wouldn’t have to run.  
Maybe everything was fine. But Zim was not fine. What had caused this reaction from the hybrid?

What had happened? 

Shep couldn’t begin to think she would be able to understand, she wasn’t made to take care of others or nurture or anything of the like. She was a scientist, a scientific mind that created weapons of destruction and worked for the betterment of the empire!

But now she’d gotten herself into this damn mess and she’d have to find a way out.

How would Shep deal with Zim? She tapped a nervous claw on the control console and flicked a glance at Zim again, who seemed to have stopped crying, but had curled in on himself.

How would she deal with this if something like this happened again?

And with Spork dead? Well what then! A new Tallest would be appointed soon to be sure, but what if they found out about the hybrid experiments as a result of gaining the knowledge only the Tallest had access to?  
Would the new Tallest connect the dots? Would they see herself and Zim to be a threat or an annoyance that needed to be taken care of? 

This was, Shep decided, really, really bad.

Was Zim worth keeping around after this error in logic? Would he have more episodes as he developed? Would he risk their safety wherever she tried to take them?

He had compromised Vort, now he’d done it again. And he had fired the fatal blast in a crowd of hundreds of other Irkens. He had killed Spork directly and the only things keeping him from getting killed right now?

1\. No one knew who he was  
2\. His pak wasn’t connected to the control brains or empire in any shape or form  
3\. Shep had dragged Zim out before he decided to fall apart 

But what now? After all her precautions? 

It had taken her over two months to even get Zim ready and prepared to go walking around with her on Irk! And look what had happened! Was it her fault? Or was Zim... defective? Was it some fault in the pak she’d made for him? Or was it biological? 

How much time did they have?

Shep blinked and flicked an antenna as she sighed deeply, they’d have to leave as soon as possible without attracting attention.

And if Zim didn’t snap out of whatever this was, Shep would have to do it by herself. And that just increased the risk of escaping. She spat out a curse as she landed in the cruiser’s hanger before she went over to Zim.

Zim’s breathing had eased at least, but he still wasn’t being responsive. So Shep huffed our a breath and flicked him hard on the antenna. 

This got a reaction, though admittedly, not the kind she had expected.

The pak blaster that had been laying limp beside the hybrid sprung to life and in an instant, the blaster sharpened back out to a sharply pointed pak leg before coming straight at her. 

Shep barely had a chance to even flinch or move out of the way before Zim’s head shot up and the pak leg grazed past her face, turning before it dove into her eye. A moment passed and Shep felt a burning pain slowly flare up along that side of her face with a shocked inhale.

She blinked and then stared at Zim.

And Zim stared back, seemingly snapped out of his blankness as he looked at her attentively and with more alertness than he’d shown for the whole flight.

The scientist and hybrid stared at each other for a moment more before Shep frowned and reached a hand to her face, and when she drew back her glove, it came back with a streak of pink. 

Shep then looked at Zim and noted his eyes had shot increasingly wide open as he blinked at her and seemed to slowly process what had just happened.  
But she didn’t have time for this as she moved to unbuckle him from his seat with a huff.  
Ignoring the feeling of blood trickling down her face, Shep grunted and tugged harshly on one of Zim’s arms, “I don’t have time for this. We especially don’t have time for this.”

Zim whimpered something but Shep merely bared her teeth at him with a frustrated hiss, “Get moving now, or Zim, so help me-“

“Did I hurt you?” 

It was barely a whisper but it caused Shep to pause as she tilted her gaze towards Zim.

His mouth was wide open, showing off his oddly sharp teeth as he scanned her over, but Shep merely frowned, “We don’t have time for this. Just get into the lab.”

And after a moment, Shep repeated herself sharply, “Zim. There is no time. Get inside.”

Zim stumbled to his feet and at Shep’s narrowed gaze, he hurried along towards the interior of the hanger, exiting it and heading down into the lab.  
Shep watched him for a moment, briefly glancing at her bloodied claws before shaking her head and following after.

She didn’t have time for this. 

~

Zim was trying not to let his mind burn up into another episode. 

But his mind felt too busy. His limbs trembled, his antenna stood stiff and on edge, while his tail lashed behind him.

He hadn’t meant to. He was the Almighty Zim! So why did he feel like... not like that? 

Why didn’t he even feel like he was in control of his own body. 

He was brought sharply out of his thoughts as the lab doors hissed as they opened. Then he flinched when he entered due to GIR running towards him screaming something that his mind wouldn’t quite focus on. The noise just kept building and as Zim stood there trying to process, the robot began to tug on his tail as he screamed.

Zim took a shuddering breath and muttered a harsh, “Not now GIR,” before he felt something push past him into the lab from behind.  
He spun around and saw Shep walking quickly inside, her gaze snapping around before she muttered something to herself.

Zim’s gaze snapped towards her and he quickly followed after her while GIR followed after him, the robot shutting up as his screaming was forgotten and his curiosity was peaked.

Though all the robots questions of ‘What we doin’?!’, ‘What happening?’ and so forth were utterly and completely ignored.

Shep herself barely seemed to register that Zim and GIR were following, the scientist releasing her pak legs before using them to quickly dash over towards her computer, typing something in before she shot off towards one of the workstations.

But what caught Zim’s attention was the beads of blood he saw left in her wake. He didn’t catch a good look at her face, but he knew it had to be hers.  
Had Zim cut her deep? Was she going to be okay? Would she force him to leave? Would she finally go through with her original orders and finally terminate him once and for all? What had Zim done?

His breathing was coming back in gasps and before he could even do anything about it, he dully heard the click of metal legs scuttle across the floor before he felt something hit him across the face.

He winced at the feeling and looked up to see Shep standing back from him on her pak legs with one hand raised.  
Her eyes were narrowed and she seemed to just be observing his face while his own eyes went to observe hers.  
Zim’s eyes locked onto the pink, bloody cut resting brightly against her light green skin, but before he could say or do anything in response, Shep reacted first.

And she slapped him. Hard.

Zim winced and jerked back with a gasp of, “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”  
He rubbed his cheek before he just held a claw to his face and pouted before Shep perked her antenna at him.

Then, as Zim looked at her, rubbing his face with one of his upper arms as his bottom two were held out in case she tried to slap him again, Shep seemed to visible relax.

It only lasted for a brief moment before the scientist exhaled sharply and quickly before saying in rush, “IDONOTAPOLIGIZEFORMYACTIONSINEEDYOUHEREWITHMEBECAUSEOURLIVESARE-“

Zim quickly cut her off as he blinked and stared wide eyed at the mass of information being processed, “Eh?! WHAT?”

As Shep inhaled and exhaled, Zim stared at her before stating nervously, “Zim did not understand a word of what was just spoken! WHAT IS HAPPENING?”

Shep blinked and looked around nervously before tugging at one of her antenna before gesturing wildly with an arm, “We need to go. We don’t have time! Everything is jeopardized and- WE NEED TO GO!”

She jerked up and looked sharply over her shoulder before gazing back at Zim as she hurriedly stated bluntly, “I am aware I am being irrational, but as a result of the likelihood that you killing Tallest Spork will result in our own peril, we need to grab what we need, and go! Where? I’m unsure!”

She rose herself up on her pak legs and inhaled sharply, “Grab anything you wish to take with you, I have another ship that is faster than the cruiser, met me back here in no more than 10 minutes! Now am I understood, Zim?”  
Zim took a step back as he processed what she was saying before Shep suddenly hissed, “And DO NOT think of things that will make you go blank again! Or whatever you did to go blank! DON’T DO IT BECAUSE I NEED YOU HERE!”

Zim stood there for a moment as Shep stared at him, the hybrid didn’t know how to respond, unsure how to react to this side of the scientist. 

He had never seen her this... frantic. 

Not even on Vort, sure she had been panicked and nervous, but she had a pretty good reason to be when literally everything was exploding around them.

But Zim needed to present now, so he jerked back to attention and nodded.  
The scientist seemed to relax once more before giving him the barest of smiles, “Good. Okay.”

Then Shep was hurrying back along to the depths of the lab, and Zim took a moment to think what he’d need to grab. 

He looked around sharply for GIR, realized the SIR unit was right beside him, and scooped up the noisy robot using his bottom two arms.  
Then he promptly sat down to wait for Shep to return as he used his top two arms to try and shove the limp pak leg that had been dangling outside his pak back into the machine.

Zim sighed softly when the leg finally slid back in and his pak closed up before he hugged GIR tightly to himself.  
The robot froze for a second before GIR gave a delighted squeal as he hugged Zim back. The hybrid just let him, waiting quietly as tears began to drop down his face again as his tail curled around one of his ankles.

Zim just had to wait a little bit.  
But for now, he was just here.

Yeah. Zim was here.

~

Shep had grabbed up everything she could before rushing off to get Zim before realizing he was where she’d left him.

Shep hurried towards her smeet and gazed at him, panicking for a moment when she thought he’d gone blank again, before he turned and blinked at her with tears trailing down his face once more.

But that was okay. He was there and here. She gave a brief smile that was shakily returned before gesturing for him to follow.

She needed to get off this planet. They needed to leave.

Shep dashed into the other hanger, this lab having been made for two or more scientist, but Shep being the only one assigned to it as a result of there being... less... scientist, a result of the Vort incident.

But this had worked in their favor yet again, because if they had the whole of the lab to themselves, Shep had been able to buy another ship in case they needed an extra. Shep gazed about to make sure things were still in order before tossing some things into the ship there. 

This ship was a much newer model, lovingly what she called a Zoot Explorer, and was considerably less bulky than the cruiser she had, much slimmer, and it was precisely what they needed. 

Smaller, lighter, faster.

Just what was needed. 

The scientist shuddered and hurried along to enter the Explorer, climbing inside with her pak legs still active and out before allowing them to fold back up as she quickly hurried to make sure everything was still operational.  
One of her antenna perked as she heard Zim shuffling onboard and just to make sure it was him, she shot a glance over. The hybrid was glancing around curiously as he clutched GIR like a lifeline to his chest, the robot being surprisingly quiet as he just seemed to flop in Zim’s grasp.

And that was perfectly fine by her.  
Shep walked over to Zim and tilted her head at him, “Good now?”

Zim blinked and looked at her with watery eyes, though thankfully he was no longer crying, before shrugging, “Eh, Zim is here. Did you grab everything you need? I got GIR.”

The hybrid patted the robot’s head with one of his upper arms before flicking an antenna down as he glanced at her.

Shep merely shrugged before leading Zim towards the passenger seat.

Zim gazed at her briefly before he sat down and buckled up, earning himself a big smile as the scientist briefly patted his head fondly.

Shep breathed a sigh and as she secured some loose items and rechecked the engines and machinery of the Explorer, she settled into the pilot’s seat.  
She took a deep breath and after glancing to make sure Zim was secure and ready to go, she threw on the engines and flew them up.

They were going to be okay.

When they got high enough away from the surface of the planet, up into the thick of the pink sky, she threw on the boosters and they shot off as quick as could be.

And the further they got away, the more tension eased from her body as she stared into the distance where an untold number of stars glinted and shimmered. Out there, somewhere, they could find somewhere to go.  
Somewhere to lay low. Somewhere to figure things out. Maybe even somewhere that could serve as a new home.

Maybe. Just maybe.

They’d be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so back to Irk years vs Earth years! I’ll be using an approx of 1 Irk year to 10 Earth years and after doing a bunch of estimating and crud, Zim is about 1 Irk year old (And 4 months) and about 13 Earth years currently! This is assuming that Irk has a similar calendar and time system to Earth! And since this is fiction, it is! So yeah!  
> Also, when we get to Earth, Dib will be ever so slightly aged up with him being almost 13, and I’ll be making Gaz about 11.  
> Also, Shep is frickin old, being about 32 Irk years and about 317 Earth years old! 
> 
> So there, next time we’ll be in space and crud? Hopefully!


	9. Alliances and Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang drifts through space, Zim and Shep have a heart-to-heart, they met some weirdos, and then find something curious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief note, but I’ll be making some brief references for this au’s Zim and Shep soon and will post them later on to the end of this chapter! So yeeeah!

It had been awhile since they’d last landed on a planet, a brief stop at a planet neither of them cared to remember the name of for some fuel before they were off again.  
Just drifting along the stars, taking moments to make conversation before continuing to just take in what had happened and what could happen next.

Zim certainly had not expected this. That was the least he could say about this whole situation, but he didn’t want to delve any further than that.

He didn’t like it. None of this. But at the same time, he was kinda excited.

And that was dookie. Because of all the things he should probably be feeling, that most likely was not it. But then again, it’s not like the empire had offered him much anyway.  
He had been a mere tool to an end. Just a simple test, nothing but an experiment for no real reason but to see if they could.  
Even if he did become something, he’d always have to hide behind fake faces and holograms because no one was going to see him as anything else but a mistake or error in Irk’s history.

And that... hurt. A lot of things really hurt him when he thought about it.

How he was to be terminated at creation.   
How he had to look up to the Tallest when they barely even saw him as a living thing.  
How he only survived because Shep had decided to keep him alive.  
How no one could know what he was or who he was unless he wanted to risk their lives.  
How Shep had given everything up for him.  
How he had ruined things for them on Vort.  
And how he ruined things on Irk.  
How he ruined everything he touched.

Even the one thing that was really his was a broken mess of a robot, GIR currently curled up on his lap despite the fact that SIR units shouldn’t sleep or get tired. 

Zim felt like dookie. He felt guilty. He felt sad. He felt enraged and like he was a mistake after all. 

It just wasn’t fair he decided.   
He felt restless and tired and empty. And it all sucked.

Zim took a deep breath and spoke up, “Shep, why is Zim wrong?”

He saw the Irken gaze over at him briefly with a pricked antenna before she turned around fully, as though just realizing what he had said, setting the Explorer to auto-pilot. 

She huffed and stared at him for a moment before Shep replied curtly, “What do you mean?”

Zim blinked at her before waving a hand, “Eh? Zim was pretty clear what he meant! I am wrong! Zim is a defective! I mean, I have to be!”

Shep pricked both antenna before tilting her head curiously, “Why do you have to be?”

Zim scowled, “I messed ever thing up! Zim ruined everything! Why else would we be here if not for Zim?!”

There was a pause before mildly the scientist stated, “Well... we are here because of you. That’s true, but why does that mean everything is ruined? I mean, we’re not dead and we have a functional ship.”

Zim blinked before pulling on an antenna, “BUT THE LAB IS GONE!? VORT EXPLODED?! LITERALLY EVERYTHING!”

Shep blinked and then mildly nodded in thought, “Well those are things that happened. And I believe by ‘everything’ you’re referring to such screwups and mistakes made by you in particular? But...hm.”

She paused and tapped her chin as she looked at Zim before slowly saying, “Fine. I guess you are defective.”

Zim’s eyes shot wide open as he blinked before his antenna fell flat againist his head, but before he could do much of anything he heard Shep continue mildly, “And so am I.”

Zim raised an antenna and stared at her curiously before muttering a light, “Eh?”

The scientist held up a claw, “Well, first off, defective in the empire means that we defected from it. Going against what we are suppose to do and what we are suppose to be. Which we both did.”   
She stood up and held up two claws, “Secondly, if you’re claiming yourself defective as a result of destructive and irrational actions, then I can be defined as such as well. I choose you over my Tallest and was quite ready to kill Miyuki myself.” 

Shep sighed softly and glanced out the windshield at the numerous stars glinting in the dark abyss of space as she held up all three claws, “Lastly, I’m the reason you’re alive. I primarily used my own DNA for you and I created your pak. So if something went wrong, then that is on me, not you.”

Zim furrowed his brow and whined, “But I essentially ruined everything for you!”

Shep glanced over with a perked antenna before laughing with a sharp smile, “Ha! Yeah, right! I already did that myself!”  
She rolled her eyes and gave a mild smile at Zim’s baffled expression, “Did you not hear me? I choose you over my Tallest, the one reasoning for my existence. Logically speaking, that was the greatest error in my life!”

Zim frowned as she continued with a wave of her claw, “You see, letting you live was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my whole existence!”

The hybrid went still and opened his mouth to say... something, before he was cut off as Shep continued, “You destroyed the greatest lab I’ve ever had, destroyed my chances at becoming one of the best known scientist in Irken history, and you confuse me so much! Buuuuut...”

Zim’s antenna perked and he glanced up nervously. He didn’t know how to feel right now, but Zim pricked his antenna attentively either way.

The scientist looked back at him with a deep sigh, “I would never change my mind about betraying Irk. Because like it or not, I care about you.”

The hybrid jerked upright, dislodging the sleeping (?) GIR from his lap, the robot rolling away with a shriek. But Zim didn’t care, merely gasping out a light, “What?”

Shep’s antenna flattened before one twitched as she waved an arm, “I... care about you... okay? There. Zim, you aren’t just an experiment or scientific break through for me... not anymore. You know what you are to me?”  
She swung her gaze away to stare outside before gazing back towards him and Zim blinked at the intensity of the stare before shaking his head.

Shep took a deep breath before looking back out the windshield, “You’re my smeet.”  
She stuttered for a moment as she then said, “I-I care about you. A lot. So much so...so much so that I’m worried you’ll get hurt. I want you to be safe... safe and happy. Yeah. So. There, I-I said it.”

Zim got up to stand beside her and lightly head butted her shoulder, Shep sighing softly as she stroked a claw gently along his head.  
There was a pause before Zim smiled as he glanced at the scientist, who’s skin around her face seemed flushed a darker green, “I care about you, too. I’m pretty glad you made the greatest error you could have.”

Shep chuckled softly and let out a soft sigh as her gaze continued to focus on the distant space beyond them.

They stood there for awhile until GIR sauntered up and pointed out the windshield, “Wowwwwwww, IT SURE IS DARK OUT THERE!”

Zim sighed heavily and glanced at the SIR unit before patting his head slightly, “Yeah.”  
The hybrid leaned further against Shep as GIR smashed his face against the glass with a giggle, as Zim mused mildly, “It sure is.”

~

GIR was currently playing a game with Master, Zim watching the SIR unit point outside the ship as he began screeching in that high, maniacal voice of his, “I spy with my LITTLE EYE... something... THAT LOOKS likeeeeee... THE ABYSSSS!” 

Zim tapped a claw to his chin before waving out one of his lower arms, raising an antenna mildly, “Space?” 

GIR screamed and Zim couldn’t help but twitch his antenna back and wince at the sound before the robot clutched one of his bottom arms and screamed, “YOU SO GOOD AT THIS!” Before immediately sobbing as he wailed, “WHY YOU SO gOoD AT THISSSSS!” 

Zim peeled his lip back as he slowly used a clawed foot to shove the robot off of him, yelling at him all the while, “GIR, we are literally in SPACE!”   
He grimaced as the robot started rolling around and sighed as he dragged a hand down his face, “GIR...”  
GIR was always an endless mess of crazy. So why did it surprise him when this always managed to happen? 

Slowly watching the robot roll around, he was so distracted by the noise and mess of flailing limbs and tears that he almost missed the alert that popped up on the Explorer’s screen.

Shep tilted her gaze towards it before calling Zim over, completely ignoring GIR, “Zim, we’re getting an incoming call!” 

The hybrid dashed over and Zim and Shep stared at the screen for a moment before looking back at one another. Shep waved an arm for Zim to sit down out of view and hovered a claw over the button.  
Then with a narrowed gaze, she accepted it, Zim reaching over to start warming up the Explorer’s weapons system before working on finding where the transmission was coming from, no ship currently visible.

Then the screen stretched out and after a moment, it showed an odd assortment of dark silhouettes with glowing eyes. Shep shot a glance at Zim before perking an antenna curiously at what she saw.

After a pause, a deep, thunderous voice proclaimed darkly, “We are the Resisty! Identify yourself Irken-scum!” 

Shep opened her mouth before closing it, squinting at the dark figures before scoffing slightly, “What kind of a name is that?” She shot a glance at Zim before asking curiously, “Is this... is this a joke... the Resisty? Really?”

There was another brief pause before the lights seemed to come on in the other ship, a Vortian being exposed as he started to yell at the strange assortment of peculiar aliens around him, “See!? I KNEW it was a STUPID name! WHY DO I LISTEN TO YOU!?”

A green-eyed, four-armed alien shifted mildly before muttering a mild, “I don’t know, why do you?”

The pale grayish-purple Vortian groaned before swerving around to yell something else before Shep coughed mildly to get his attention again. The other aliens gazed back towards her and the Vortian, who she was starting to suspect might be playing the role of leader, gazed back with a wide-eyed blink.  
Then he stood up on his chair and pointed at them, “UH! ANYWAYS IDENTIFY YOURSELF!”

Shep blinked long and slowly before glancing at Zim, Zim merely raised a claw, nearly finished.  
The Irken sighed and rolled her head back with a long groan before looking back to the Vortian, “Well, I guess I could tell you. But why? What danger could you possibly offer? I don’t even see your ship, so first off you’re hiding. Second off, why is a Vortian out here? Aren’t we allies?”

The scientist frowned before tapping a claw on her chin before Zim called over, “Uh, actually Zim read something about Vort being conquered some time after the Space Worm Incident?”

She perked an antenna and looked at him as she mused curiously, “Oh? Really? Huh! T-“

“HEY! Don’t ignore us! WE ARE STILL RIGHT HERE! And WHO are you TALKING TO?!” 

The two Irken gazed back and Zim leaned over so he was ever so slightly in view, waving with an arm with a mild, “Hi.”

The Vortian squinted at him and turned to stare at Shep, “Wait how many are you on that ship?”

The Irken shook her head, “Really? You expect me to just answer tha-“

GIR screeched as he ran over, “THA PiCtUrEs ARE aLiVe!?” 

The Vortain flinched back before leaning slightly forward to look at the robot, “What is that?”

The other aliens on the enemy ship began to mutter before one screamed, “ITS AN INVADER SIR UNIT!”

The Vortian swung his gaze over to his right, “What? Really?”  
Someone else screamed and the Vortian gazed back at Shep, “You don’t look like an Invader?”

Shep rolled her eyes, shoving GIR away with barely a glance back, before looking towards Zim.  
Zim gazed back and gave a sharp grin and nod, causing Shep to grin sharply before looking back to the Vortian. As she took a moment to just gaze over the viewable interior of the ship, she moved her gaze back to watch the odd horn-like protrusions on the Vortian’s head move as he leaned back in his seat.  
Then the scientist smirked, “Hey~ Want to know something amusing? More funny than your resistance’s name?”

The Vortian puffed up insulted before a strange, dull purple, umbrella-like creature flew into view with a dopey smile, “And what’s that?”

Shep smirked at Zim and the hybrid leaned back into view with a manic grin as he purred, “I found your ship~”

The Vortian jumped up, “WHAT?”

The Irken scientist hummed and pressed a button before Zim flicked up a few switches and clicked a small blue button before a whirling sound began.   
With a laugh, Shep blasted a nearby drifting asteroid, and as it blew apart, Zim flicking on the ship’s shield, the Resisty ship could be seen now exposed.   
It seemed to be a Vortian ship, it’s long angular shape sticking out against the darkness of space.

The two Irken began to laugh before GIR joined them as the Vortian ship’s crew began to panic and run around wildly on screen.   
The Vortian bit his lip and his eyes widened before he suddenly shouted, “UH! YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH US! You-you Irken-SCUM!”

Zim tilted his head and smirked, “And why’s that?”

The Vortian gazed about before suddenly standing up and pointing at them, “BECAUSE YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR KILLING YOUR TALLEST SPORK! Ha! THERE! Yeah!”

The two Irken froze, squinting dumbfounded while GIR continued to laugh, rolling on the ground now before Zim just muttered a light, “Eh?”

The Resisty aliens had stopped their panic, gazing at the Vortian before some of them began to laugh and nod jerkily while the others looked extremely confused.  
The Irkens, however, just continued to stare before Zim frowned and leaned farther back in his seat to cast the Resisty an annoyed glare.

Then, ignoring the glare sent his way by Shep, the hybrid screamed suddenly, “LIESSSSSS! You LIE!”  
The Vortian scoffed and held up a finger before Zim cut him off, pointedly waving a claw, “LIESSSSSSSSS!”  
After a moment the Vortian slowly raised a finger again before Zim screamed again, “LIEEEEE! YOU LIEEEEEEEE! LIESSSS!”

There was a beat of silence before the Vortian glanced at Shep, who stared back at him blankly before he slowly stated, “Uh, can I talk now?”

Zim hummed and nodded after a briefly moment, making Shep lean forward in her seat as she hovered a claw over the activation button for the Explorer’s laser blaster.

She was getting bored and extremely tired of this.

The Vortian then slowly asked, “Well how do you know we didn’t? Hmmmm?”

Zim smirked and his antenna shot upwards as he proudly proclaimed, “BECAUSE! IT WAS I! ZIM!”

Shep buried her face in her claws with a groan of ‘Are you serious?’

The Resisty glanced at each other before one three-headed alien slowly asked, “Wait? You killed your own leader?”

Zim laughed as he flashed a sharp grin, “I did indeed! ME!”

“How?” A few more of the Resisty blinked up at Zim, morbidly curious.

With a smirk, Zim opened his mouth to respond before Shep cut him off with a sharp growl, “Do NOT answer that!”

The Irkens gazed at each other narrowly before Zim pouted and shifted in his seat until he was back out of view of the Resisty.  
Then Shep pointed at the Vortian, “Okay! Listen here you idiots! I am exceedingly tired of this foolery! Either get going, or so help me, I will blow you right out of this damn star system!”

The Vortian sat back down in his seat and gave a nervous glance towards the Irken vessel before proclaiming quickly, “Uh! How about a truce!? YEAH A TRUCE!”

Shep huffed and shot a glance at Zim, who was looking at her intently, before slowly gazing back at the Resisty leader, “What kind of truce are you offering?”

The Resisty glanced amongst itself before breaking into whisperings, then after a brief pause of silence, the Vortian proclaimed boldly, “We offer... a PARTNERSHIP!”

Shep raised an antenna before slowly asking, “Partnership? Are you serious? A moment ago you were trying to play like you were something serious just to roll over the moment we showed our hand. We may be defectives, but we’re not idiots. What can you even offer us? Not like you have much if this is all you have? ...Is this all you have?”

The Vortian deflated before shifting awkwardly in his seat, adjusting the green goggles on his face before shrugging, “Well... we could offer technology? Because if you’re defectives than... you probably don’t have anything beside that ship? Also for YOUR information! WE ARE A STILL GROWING RESISTANCE!”

Shep sighed as GIR rolled around her seat before looking at Zim once again. The hybrid was holding his two top arms in a pleading manner with an excited maniacal glee in his eyes as he nodded hurriedly.  
The scientist sighed before dragging a hand down her face, one of her claws slowly raising over the blaster button again, “I....ugh. What kind of technology do you have?”

The Resisty instantly perked up as some of the aliens glanced at the Vortian, who excitedly proclaimed, “Well we actually have a base near Food Courtia where we keep stolen supplies from all over the known universe! We could... Uh offer some of the Vortian technology and such we managed to get ahold of before Vort was taken over! How’s... uh, how’s that sound?”

Zim reentered the Resisty’s view before Shep could say or do anything else, “Could you maybe give us some supplies, too? We could build you weapons for the Resisty after we get ourselves a designated base! Shep’s the BEST scientist and Zim is the GREATEST Irken to ever live!!”

Shep glanced at Zim tiredly before lowly muttering, “Why would you give them my name!? And come on! We d-“

The Vortian was absolutely beaming and screamed over the Irken, “DEAL!”

Shep gazed between Zim and the Resisty before slowly covering her face with her claws, “FINE!”

The Vortian bared a sharp toothed smiled and nodded before proudly proclaiming, “YOU HAVE CHOOSEN RIGHTLY BY JOINING OUR CAUSE!”  
Then he began to slowly point around at the gathered aliens around him, “I’m Lard Nar, that over there is Spleenk, he’s Shloonktapooxis, we got Ixane, and...”

Shep gazed at the Explorer’s ceiling as she drowned out Lard Nar’s voice as she plotted how to best kill Zim for this before focusing on the Vortian.

She slowly raised a claw as she cut him off, “Great. How nice. Thanks. But can you just transfer what you can and we’ll be on our way.”  
Shep eyed the laser blasters before she noted they’d been turned off. Shooting a look towards Zim, the hybrid gazed back at her steadily before smiling at her.  
She merely growled out a huff before letting her claw ease away from the laser’s button as she focused back on Lard Nar, who was excitedly talking about something Shep didn’t care to listen to.

Then a small number of vessels began to split off from the main Vortian ship in their direction, Lard Nar stating with a smile, “Here! We’re sending over supplies now and we’ll set up a communications link so you can refer to us later and so that we can identify your location and send further supplies!”

The scientist nodded now curious at the display of ease and excitement the Resisty now projected as they gazed at the Irkens with intrigue. 

She glanced at Zim and noted he was giving her a smug grin, to which Shep slowly sighed and gave a milder one in response. 

Okay, she’d admit it, this had been a good idea. So she turned back to Lard Nar and began to ask some questions as she responded to some of the Resisty’s own.

~

It had taken awhile of setting up and adjusting their storage before the Zoot Explorer pulled away from the Resisty’s Vortian ship, the two parting ways as the Irkens continued on their way to the edge of the known universe.   
Shep had determined that this was the best route for them to take, to travel as far as they could from what they’d known in order to slowly build themselves up stronger. 

And with the added support of the Resisty’s supplies and the new work offered to them, the two had slowly developed a plan, having priorly just planned to head off to find somewhere they could just lay low.

After finding a suitable planet, they would set up a base with their new resources before slowly learning all they could about said planet.   
Then they’d send weapons and such to the Resisty as part of their agreement and things from there would unfold as they should. 

Shep wasn’t as excited to leave such things to chance, but seeing as there was nothing better for them to do, it seemed to be their best option.

At least Zim and GIR were excited, the two having slowly gone stir crazy to the point that even Shep was feeling the restless ache.   
They were currently staring at each other as they rambled about all the things they would do when they got to the planet, Zim seemingly planning to try and see how hard it would be to conquer said planet as an amusing hobby for himself while GIR was loudly wondering what new things he would be able to eat and dance on.

Even though they were getting on her nerves, Shep let the two continue their chatter, closing her eyes as she hummed to herself.

There was no rush for her, she was surprisingly content right now, and even as the computer beeped at her, she lazily opened an eye to peer at the notification.

That’s when she perked up, a proximity alert had showed up. The Irken jolted up and peered out the windshield.

Then she looked over her shoulder and shouted, “We got a planet!”

Zim swung his gaze over with an excited grin as GIR tilted his head curiously.

Then, the three peered out the windshield, and observed the swirling mass of blue and green of the planet infront of them.

Shep began to pull up all she could on it, to figure if someone prior had discovered this planet, though all that showed was a peculiar name with little to no records otherwise.

Zim perked his antenna and gazed slowly at Shep before the two muttered curiously, “Urth?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Finally! Earth time!


	10. Urth Skool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib is not amused.

It was another ordinary day for Paranormal Hunter Dib Membrane, that is, until the end of Skool.

From the moment he walked into Miss Bitters’ class, something felt off, as though the air was charged with something. It sent the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end and as Dib gazed around sharply and suspiciously, he watched as someone new walked into class.

Or rather something. Because whatever THAT was, IT WAS NOT HUMAN.

His eyes shot wide open as the green-skinned humanoid walked in, the creature’s violet eyes gazing about the room with curiosity.  
Then, Miss Bitters slithered up from behind, resting a hand on its shoulder, causing the thing to straighten up ever so slightly with a nervous gaze behind itself before the teacher began to drone on.

With a hiss and sneer, Miss Bitters growled out flatly, “This new, worthless addition to the waste of the Skool student body is your new classmate, Zim. Now, Zim, if you want to say anything, say it now because afterwards I don’t want to hear another sound out of you.”

This thing, Zim, straightened up as he lightly brushed off his purple shirt with black gloved hands before giving an anxious smile, “Hi, I am Zim. I’m a regular Earth-child, and I believe we will get along greatly if you just ignore Zim and don’t mind my ignorance when it comes to your weird culture. Since I’m foreign. Thank you!”  
Then he ran a hand through his short black hair and walked along to sit in his desk, shuffling a bit before peeking up attentively.

Then Miss Bitters began to grit out how the universe was doomed to implode on itself and how everything and everyone was eventually doomed.

But Dib didn’t care about that, his eyes locked onto the alien.

Dib merely gazed at Zim narrowly before looking around at his idiotic classmates, were they serious this dumb!? The boy gritted out a sigh before stating sharply, cutting off Miss Bitters, “Am I the only one to see the alien?”

His classmates glanced at him and after going tense, Zim gazed over slowly with a narrowed gaze.  
Dib merely sneered in repsonse and pointed a finger, “The alien... RIGHT THERE!”  
The kids looked around blankly, not really caring all that much, but finding it a nice distraction from their schoolwork.

Dib tugged at his hair briefly before jumping from his seat, pointing at Zim before screaming, “RIGHT... THERE!”  
A few kids glanced at the new kid before looking around at each other once more just for Dib to finally screech as he walked right to Zim’s desk, “I AM TALKING ABOUT ZIM! Look at him! HE IS CLEARLY AN ALIEN!”

Zim blinked slowly before giving a surprised gasp, before looking at the other children, shrugging before looking back towards Dib.

Dib growled and pointed at the alien sharply, “His skin is GREEN! Humans don’t have GREEN SKIN!”

Zim looked down at his skin before glancing around himself. With a mild pause he then blinked down at his desk as he stated softly, “It’s a skin condition.”

One girl glanced at Dib and scowled, “Wow, way to go, Dib. Again making fun of someone because of how they look.”

Another kid in a blue shirt spoke up, “Yeah! It’s a skin condition! You weirdo! What happened to claiming Big Foot was in your garage? Now it’s aliens?”

Dib straightened and hissed out, “Big Foot is real, too!”

A dark haired boy scoffed and nodded, “Yeah, right! But what makes you think you can just go around and accuse people of things because someone looks different. Now I guess old kid is an alien too, then?”

Old kid perked up and squinted through a wrinkly face as he smiled pleasantly, “Hi!”

Dib puffed up like an angry cat before pointing again, “Well what about his lack of ears or a nose! That’s weird!”  
He smirked at Zim before growling out, “Is that part of your skin condition as well?”

Zim froze before glancing at Dib’s face, eyes widening slightly as though he realized he’d forgotten something before stuttering out, “Y-yes! It’s a really, really bad skin condition!”

The other kids glanced at him and Dib saw Zim begin to grow nervous as his eyes darted about before a blond girl spoke up, “Oh, okay.”

His classmates began to nod among themselves before settling back down, just for Dib to snarl, “Come on! Zim is an ALIEN! Even that name is weird! ZIM! That’s a really odd name, huh, ZIM?”

Zim raised a nonexistent eyebrow, “Okay, even I have to cross the line somewhere. But whatever, stinky. It’s obviously a superior name to Dib.”

Their classmates muttered among themselves before nodding along, completely content to listen to lies!  
Dib scowled and opened his mouth to protest before he felt a clawed hand close around his shoulder.

He froze as Miss Bitters rose behind him and hissed, “That’s quite enough disturbing my class, Dib. Sit back down at your desk and don’t make another peep unless you want to go to the underground classrooms.”

Zim seemed curious about this and looked over intrigued before Dib sent him a harsh glare, the alien merely smirking ever so slightly in return before Dib marched back to his desk.

For the rest of the class, Dib made sure to keep an eye on Zim, not trusting the alien one bit, until Miss Bitters hissed for everyone to leave and go home.

~

Dib was right on the tail of that alien as the bell for the end of Skool droned out and children began to head home.

He sneered as he slammed open the school doors and yelled sharply, “Zim!”

Zim, who had been happily wandering down the building’s steps froze. Then he seemed to sigh and slowly gazed over at Dib as the boy continued, “Your cruddy disguise may have fooled my classmates, but I know the truth! I’LL SHOW THEM YOU’RE AN ALIEN!”

The alien merely rolled his eyes as he said with a smirk, “No one’s going to believe you. Honestly, I’m pretty sure none of them really cared.”  
Zim then tilted his head with a sharp motion that was too sharp and precise to be even considered human as he smiled, “And not to be petty, but Zim seems to have an understanding that everyone knows you because you have show to merely be exceptional crazy and obsessive time and time again. So you’re credibility is already nonexistent.”

The boy puffed up and quickly pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his coat pocket as he snorted, “We’ll see about that! What about when I show them you WITHOUT THE DISGUISE?! HUH?”

Zim merely tilted his head curiously at the device in Dib’s hands, pointing at them, “Oh, those are neat. What are they?”

Dib smirked, “They’re handcuffs that can render all alien life they touch completely immobilized, guaranteed!”

The alien shifted his stance before asking lightly, as he dropped down to the bottom of the stairs, “How do you know they work if you’ve never encountered an alien before?”

The human grinned wildly as he slid down the step railings, “I’m about to find out.” Then he launched himself at Zim with the handcuffs outstretched before suddenly he found himself tripping over something.

Falling hard to the ground, Dib rolled over quickly to see Zim stepping back from him, before just shaking his head with a scoff at the human-boy’s failure, “Well... that was brief. And pathetic. Zim is just going to go.”

Then the alien took off while Dib hurried to catch back up, though his unexplained fall had him a tad distorted and confused as he reached out to put his glasses back on, the kid soon loosing track of the alien menace as he hurried along.

With a disappointed huff and mild pout at losing his first alien, Dib slowly started to make his way home with slumped shoulders.

He’d just have to try again tomorrow. He nodded to himself as he kicked a small rock across the sidewalk.  
Then he’d show them! HE’D SHOW THEM ALL THAT HE WASN’T CRAZY! HA!

Yeah. Dib was a genius.

~

Zim sighed softly as he re-entered the base, the ‘house’ crammed between two others as it stood there like it had always been there.

And surprisingly, no one had cared about this development in the least bit.  
Which was great to be honest. Because no one on this world seemed to care about anything.

So while Zim took a mild breather from his run back, he quickly got to removing his disguise, the physical disguise feeling weird against his skin from where it’d been sitting the whole of the Earth day.

Briefly checking the windows, he made sure all curtains were drawn down before taking his disguise off, switching off the hologram as he passed through the living room.  
There he noted GIR, fully dressed in his odd green dog suit, currently watching a strange show with an extremely creepy monkey on it.  
The hybrid paused to watch for a moment before taking off his wig and taking out his contacts. Then as he turned away, he stuffed them into his pak as he wandered off towards the kitchen, letting his tail relax without the worry of it being stepped on, though it was a tad sore from where the Dib had tripped over it with his clumsy hooman feet.

Either way though, today had been... interesting. When Shep had mentioned most of the humans seemed to be extremely careless and oblivious, Zim hadn’t thought it would be quite like this.

And frankly? It was hilarious!

And sure, he would admit he’d forgotten to give his hologram a nose or ears (as well as forgetting to adjust his skin color to something more earthen), but it hadn’t seemed to have been an issue in the least.

Call it a medical condition and everyone nodded their heads.

The only one to actually notice anything off (and actually care about it enough to say something about it) was the Dib. That scrawny, black-haired, peculiar scythe-headed, pathetic, mewling earth-child with a case of the crazy.

And Zim could care less.

Sure, he had grown nervous and jittery when first pointed out and questioned, but the class had easily been swayed to take his side through a mixture of annoyance towards the boy and not giving one damn.

For Zim, it was free entertainment and a quick get out for free card because if everyone was so quick to go against the Dib, even if Zim slipped up, when the Dib tried to do anything, it would further drive away any that might have listened.

Honestly, he’d have to test around with how far he could push this.

Nodding to himself as he scratched at his face, the hybrid yawned slightly.  
Zim then lazily pulled his bottom two arms out from under his tunic, slipping them through the lower sleeves hidden along his sides, and stretched them out as he eased himself into the trash can.

And as he went down along the elevator hidden within the can, Zim prided himself on a great first day at the Skool. He couldn’t wait to brag about it to Shep!


	11. Dib-Stink Trips A Lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib trips a lot and Zim laughs at him.

Zim was well aware of Dib staring at him. It wasn’t like the boy was trying to even be subtle, but it was starting to get on his nerves.  
It made him feel... _twitchy_. Like his chest was going to slowly collapse on itself. And he didn’t like that.

It reminded him of things he’d rather not think about, so with an annoyed hiss, he turned around to glare across the cafeteria towards the Dib-stink.   
The boy merely narrowed those amber eyes of his back as he adjusted the glasses on his face. Then Dib pulled out those handcuffs again with a self-satisfied smirk, lightly shaking them in Zim’s direction.

Zim merely rolled his eyes and flicked the kid a lovely gesture he had discovered known simply as ‘the bird.’ He had found it while learning about the human language and according to his research it was some form of insult that he hoped would ‘piss’ off the Dib.   
The boy merely stared at the finger before glancing at his food with a glare, that large flop of hair that stuck up from the earth-stink’s head in such a peculiar manner hiding his face from Zim’s gaze. 

The hybrid then lowered his hand and gazed at the appendage curiously before snickering to himself, turning back to stare at the strange Skool mush.   
He didn’t really want to eat it, but he wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t curious. Shep had even offered packing him some of their rations to keep appearances without risking eating something horrendous, but Zim had turned down said offer.

The hybrid was admittedly curious about Skool food as he poked the green ‘peas’ around before staring at the strange gray mush on his plate. He wasn’t sure if it was some sort of meat or just a mush made of whatever, but it was peculiar.

He pushed it away and tapped a gloved claw dully on the table before, with a groan, he acknowledged the feeling of eyes on him again. Zim swung around and narrowed his eyes in the direction and was surprised to see some of his classmates staring at him instead.

They continued to stare at him before they looked away, whispering. It made his skin crawl and Zim focused his gaze back down at his food tray, trying to ignore how his spooch churned. 

It was okay.  
He was okay.

Zim began to fiddle with his gloves before wondering if keeping up with his current hologram was a good idea.   
He didn’t want to admit it, but he wondered if he should have accepted Shep’s offer to alter his hologram for him. 

At least then he wouldn’t have had to deal with the Dib pointing out the obvious.  
But, for now, the disguise he had currently worked fine. And sure, while his classmates stared at him, he assumed it wasn’t something overly negative.   
He was new after all... so were they just curious or something of the like? Or was he overthinking this?

His pak clicked softly and Zim perked back up, he could always just get rid of them if they got too bothersome.   
He had killed a Tallest after all! What was some earthen-smeet? 

They were utterly defenseless!

Zim relaxed and began to smile to himself, trying out one of the strange ‘peas’ with this surge of self assurance. He grimaced at the taste before he moved on to try out the gray mush as well, intrigued.

Then with Dib and his classmates completely forgotten, Zim started to play with the mush to make a small fort of sorts to his own amusement.

~ 

Dib glanced at Zim before nudging his sister Gaz with a snarl, “Did you see what that alien just did?”

His sister barely glanced at him, ducking her face closer to her Game-Slave so her dark purple hair hid her gaze as she let out a low growl of, “ _Leave me alone, Dib._ ”

The boy merely continued, slamming his hands on the table, ignoring the mutters of weirdo and glares that came of it, “How _DARE_ HE show ME the bird!”

Gaz raised an eyebrow and squinted at him before muttering, “Wait, did he really just flick you off?”

Dib swung his gaze towards her and whined, “Yeah! He DID!”

The girl snickered and went back to her game as she said darkly, “It’s already been a day and you already pissed off the new kid.”

He swung his gaze back to his sister and frowned, “He’s an _alien_ , Gaz! Most likely here to take over Earth and you’re JOKING about it!?”

With a growl as Dib’s screaming and yelling costed her the game, Gaz swung her full gaze over towards Dib with promised fury if he continued to talk.   
Then she exhaled sharply and threw a finger towards the other side of the cafeteria, pointing at Zim with a huff, “It looks like he’s too busy playing with his food. NOW _SHUT UP_ AND LET ME PLAY MY _DAMN GAME_ , DIB!”

Dib winced and turned away from his sister’s slowly raised fist before glaring back at Zim, who he would admit, did look like he was playing with his food.   
The alien knocking around some peas with a fork as he seemed to sculpt the cafeteria mush into a vague mountain-like shape before using his gloved hand to swish it back down.

Dib shuddered, now that was just weird, just playing with his food like that.  
A light bulb went off in Dib’s head as he scooped up a handful of Skool mush, “Hey, Gaz, watch this.”  
Dib stood up and smirked, Gaz glancing briefly at her idiot brother before going back to her game.

Then the boy walked over towards Zim and stood there for a moment before growling out, “Hey, ZIM.”  
Zim spun around with a startled yelp and threw a fist straight into Dib’s gut, the boy yelping before staggering back, dropping the mush and forgetting his plan to throw it in Zim’s face as he clutched his stomach.  
A few of their classmates turned around and started to stare curiously before Dib turned back to Zim, “ _OW!_ WHAT THE HECK?!”

The alien merely blinked before dully saying, “Oh. It’s just the Dib-stink. What do you want?”

Dib grimaced before straighten, and as he opened his mouth to speak, he heard some snickering from behind.  
He swung his gaze around and caught some people staring at him with amusement and even Gaz seemed to be biting her lip before snickering.

His face heating up, the paranormal hunter sighed before meekly stating, “Ugh, never mind.”

Zim blinked before shrugging, “Okay. Watch yourself on the way out.”

Dib spun around and gazed at Zim before asking, “What’s that mean?”

The alien blinked at him innocently before shrugging, and as Dib growled and went to walk away, he felt something suddenly curl around one of his ankles, causing him to trip.

With a yell as he fell to the floor, Dib winced and looked back just to see Zim innocently gazing at him, “Oh no. You tripped! On what?”  
And indeed when he looked around, Dib couldn’t for the life of him find a source for his fall.   
Watching him intently, Zim pouted, “Oh, or is your head just too large and it caused you to go off balance? You poor, simple worm-baby.”

Dib growled and shoved himself back to his feet before quickly approaching Zim, unaware of the additional stares he was drawing to himself as he screeched, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE PLAYING AT, ZIM! BUT BE WARNED! I WILL GET YOU!”

Zim peered around the boy and gazed at his classmates before shrugging as he turned away from Dib back to his food.  
Then, hissing lowly, so only the boy could hear, Zim said smugly, “You make this too much fun, Dib-thing. Too easy.”

And then something slammed into chest this time, and Dib yelped as he stumbled backwards, caught off guard, before falling back onto a near table where someone had left their tray unintended.   
Then the boy merely fell right on top of it, mush and peas flying as Dib groaned and stumbled to his feet.

There was a pause of silence before everyone started to whoop and holler, Dib glaring daggers at Zim while the alien merely tilted his head innocently towards him, “Wow. You really should be more careful, Dib- _shit_.”

Another round of laughter sounded at this and the boy straightened up with his hands clenched into fists.  
And, then, holding his head as high as he could with his injured pride, Dib scurried out the cafeteria with his face beet-red.

He’d get Zim for that! HE WOULD SHOW THAT ALIEN WHO HE WAS MESSING WITH!

...That was, after he cleaned himself off and was no longer flushing in embarrassment.

~

It was later in the day, and Zim was bored.  
He was barely paying attention to Miss Bitters as she droned on about how there once had been nothing before a big mistake created everything.   
His gaze instead narrowed at the classroom clock as he waited for the sweet release of the Skool bell ringing.

Rolling his gaze lazily outside, he felt his antenna shift under his wig as the bell rang.

The hybrid grinned and quickly scrambled to his feet before the teacher growled out, “Don’t forget... teacher-parent night is tonight. And I expect to see you all there with your parents.”

Zim felt his tail flick with annoyance as he gazed over at the towering, malicious form of the human (?) woman (?), “Wait, Zim doesn’t remember that? Can I get excused since I’ve only been attending Skool since yesterday?”

The teacher sneered, “Everyone is to come. And you already agreed to it.”

Zim huffed, “What? When! You dare LIE to ZIM?”

Miss Bitters narrowed her eyes with the harshness of a thousand suns before she hissed. She then seemed to slither towards her desk as she opened a drawer, her strange, clawed hands grasping a small disk before she slipped it into her computer. 

Squinting at the chalkboard as a beam of light now projected a video onto it, Zim watched the scene that played out with mild confusion.  
There he was, sitting at his desk as he rolled a pencil across his desk.  
Miss Bitters could then be heard asking Zim about bringing his parent to Skool during the teacher-parent night, which as he spun a pencil between his fingers, he gave a distracted, “Eh? Oh, yeah. Sure.”

There was a pause before the video clicked off and Zim found himself curiously asking, “Do you have a number of videos like this just to prove a point? Cause I can respect that.”

Miss Bitters merely hissed and Zim silently questioned what the hell the teacher actually was before slowly backing away, just for the Dib to sweep over to his side, “Hello, ZIM.”

With a light sigh, Zim looked over at the human child, “Dib. I believe the bell rang.”

The human scoffed and narrowed his eyes at the alien, “I know that. But I just couldn’t help but overhear that you’re reluctant to go to the teacher-parent night, what’s that about, _huh_ , Zim?   
He then straightened up with a smug grin, “Do you even have a parent to bring? Do aliens even _know_ what a parent is!”

Zim sighed before he smiled sharply at Dib, “Yes, I know what a parent is, idiot.”  
He then gave a smug smirk as he boasted, “Zim is the only Irken to technically even have one!”

Dib raised an eyebrow, “...Irken? Is that what you are?”

Zim froze and blinked owlishly at Dib, “Eh? What?” He paused for a moment with a blank expression before suddenly yelling, “NO! ZIM DID NOT SAY THAT!”

The boy merely gave him a look, “But you just said...?”

Zim jerked up and stared at Dib for a long moment. Dib merely watched him back before suddenly Zim pulled the human’s trench coat up and over his head, Dib giving a yell before Zim shoved him. 

With a yelp as he fell over, Dib hurriedly scrambled to his feet before he began to gaze around frantically for the alien, pulling out his handcuffs again.

But, like last time, Zim had seemingly vanished the moment he was out of Dib’s sight.

But at least he’d get another chance to expose Zim that night. Dib nodded to himself and let a grin spread across his face before dashing back home.

In a few hours, Zim would be doomed!


	12. The Superior Parental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parent-teacher night, Zim wears a skirt, and Dib is sad because everyone thinks he’s crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go, starting to get into some of the more ‘episode-y’ chapters, though it’s going to diverge quite a bit from what was originally seen in the series.  
> But anyways, hope you’re enjoying this because updates are going to start to slow down until I figure out some kind of schedule!  
> Anyways, enjoy the read!

Zim marched along to the labs as he chewed on his lip, his tail wagging slightly as he hummed to himself.  
He couldn’t wait to shove his superior parent in that Dib-shit’s stupid face. Because Shep was superior to any Earth-monkey, obviously.

So he just had to tell her about it, letting himself into the lowest lab, which Shep had claimed for herself.  
Carefully peering in, Zim knocked with one of his bottom arms before yelling out, “ZIM IS ENTERING THE LAB!”

His voice echoed slightly through the seemingly endless corridors as he walked along, pausing as his antenna caught on to the distant shout of, “I AM OVER HERE!”

Zim grinned and hurried along with a mild skip in his step as he peered into one of the large rooms within the space.  
After a brief glance over, he spotted Shep currently hovering over a small array of machines with her pak legs extended outwards.

She paused as one of her antenna flicked in his direction, and after picking at some wires with a fine pair of tweezers, she lowered herself to the ground as she turned to him. The Irken then lowered her googles from her face to look Zim over, “Everything all good?”

Zim merely wandered over to her side to stare at the strange machines before butting his head against her shoulder, “Yep!”

Shep smiled mildly and stroked his antenna before asking with a hum, “Well, how was the Skool then?”

Zim melted at the contact as the Irken’s gloved hand ran along his head before humming softly, “Alright. Amusing. Though I need you to take me there again today for some ‘teacher-parent night’ or whatever.”

The scientist tilted her head, unconsciously retracting her hand, “Oh? Why? Don’t you only have to go there once a day?”

The hybrid sighed dramatically, “Apparently the Skool needs to met with the earth-smeet parentals every so often, and we got lucky and showed up just before one of these.”

Shep flicked an antenna before shrugging, walking along to put up some of her tools and machinery, “Okay then. I guess that makes some sense? Though to be honest, I haven’t really worked on my own disguise, if I have to admit it, I don’t care for hoomans all that much. But I can whip something up I guess.”

Zim followed after her and watched her actions before musing mildly, “Well you can always borrow Zim’s holo-band, right?”

Shep casted him a glance and shrugged, “I guess so, hmm. Yes, that could work but don’t you think that will be a tad risky?”

The hybrid merely perked up with a mischievous smile, “Well, remember when Zim said that no one cared about my lack of ears or nose along with my green skin beside some weirdo?”  
Shep nodded with a mild ‘yeah’ as he continued waving a hand around, “Can’t we play around with that? I can just hide my arms and maybe I can play around with what I do with my tail. Maybe even make something up about it, just to see how much Zim can get away with? Pleassse?”

The Irken hummed softly before tapping her chin with a claw, “Well it could be amusing to watch, didn’t you mention everyone believes the Dib-smeet is insane either way?”

Zim snickered and raised his top arms excitedly, “Precisely! It will be hilarious! The kid is literally so stupid!”

Shep bit her lip before smiling at Zim’s enthusiasm, “Fine, you’ve convinced me.”

Zim bared a sharp smile, “It’ll be later this afternoon, so we have plenty of time to prepare!”

The Irken nodded before she seemed to think this over.  
Then she groaned mildly, realizing something, “Ugh, I’ll have to make conversation with these hoomans though. Scientifically speaking, they’re quite stunted in what they’re knowledgeable on.”

Zim merely smiled at her, “Buuuuuut! You could literally say anything and they’ll believe it! As long as it sounds like something too complex for their pathetic minds to comprehend or something they can easily accept and cast from mind!”

Shep sighed as she begun to walk back out the lab, waving her claw, “I guess that makes sense, but I’ll have to make silly chit chat eventually. And I DO NOT have that patience. Especially when they’re a bunch of sniveling idiots.”  
She growled to herself before entering the elevator, waiting for Zim to climb in before they headed upwards.  
The Irken continued on the way up, “And while that works well for us, I don’t think I could handle staying too long. Sure I’m up for some amusement, but I don’t want to actively lose brain cells.”

Zim gave a dismissive wave of his hand, “I think we just have to make sure people get the message that you’re my parent. Then we can leave when things get too bothersome!”

Shep nodded with a huff, “Okay. If you say so.”

Zim puffed up his chest, “Zim knows so!”

The two continued along silently before they emerged into the kitchen, heading along to prepare for the Skool event.

~

Dib was waiting readily for Zim to arrive, half-way convinced that the alien wouldn’t even show up as he walked along with his sister and his dad’s mechanical projection.

And while Zim was his main focus, Dib couldn’t help but feel a mild pang of jealously at all the other children and their parents seen about.  
But he merely shook his head and focused on looking for Zim, and as he became more and more sure that the alien would be a no-show, Zim finally walked in.

And Dib couldn’t help but be shocked by the normal looking woman that walked along side him, nearly hiding him completely from view.  
The woman herself seemed to be of average height with short-black hair, dark brown eyes, and a warm chestnut skin tone. 

But before Dib could focus to much on this normal looking woman, his eyes trailed towards Zim, noting that for some peculiar reasoning, the alien was wearing a long, black skirt.  
Glancing around briefly, he realized that once again, no one was paying the least bit of attention to the alien and felt his hands clench.

WERE PEOPLE REALLY THIS STUPID!?

Zim wasn’t even trying to act normal!  
The green-skinned alien walking around with his ‘parent’ as he flashed teeth that Dib noted were too sharp, along with showing off a long, segmented tongue as he spoke.  
The boy furrowed his brow at that, he hadn’t quite noticed that peculiarity earlier, but he merely shook his head and looked to his dad to point out the alien, just to notice the screen had been switched to a image of ‘Will be back later! Science doesn’t wait, but you can!’ 

Ignoring the feeling of disappointment, Dib wandered over towards Zim and his parent, who were currently talking with Miss Bitters as the spectral woman peered over the two before sneering and wandering off to go demoralize some of her old students.

Zim tugged on the woman’s hand and began to explain something before catching sight of Dib, quickly grinning and pointing at the boy.  
The woman turned her gaze to Dib and raised an eyebrow with a critical expression.

Dib merely growled as he narrowed his gaze at Zim, “ZIM. I see you brought your mom. I bet she’s a robot or something then, hmmm?”

Zim opened his mouth to comment before his parent opened her mouth with a confused look on her face, “A robot is the best you can come up with? And I am Zim’s parent, not his mom.”

Dib raised a finger to question that logic before blankly saying, “But a mom is a parent? And what else am I supposed to come up with, huh?”

The woman shrugged, waving a hand, “Well then of course I’m Zim’s mom.”  
She then crossed her arms, “Anyways, I’m not even going to grace you earthen-smeet with a response. And last time I paid attention, don’t you Skool children require a parental at this thing? Where’s yours, hmm?”

Dib blinked a few times before deciding to just glare at Zim, pointing at him, “I don’t have to answer anything! Also! Why are you wearing a skirt?”

Zim blinked down at himself and hummed softly as he used his gloved hands to swish the fabric around, “Why not? It goes along great with my shirt, and it hides Zim’s tail pretty well.”  
He then smiled sweetly at the boy and watched as Dib slowly processed what he said before his eyes shot wide opened with a dumbfounded expression.

Zim’s grin widened and he stated mildly, “Wow! Shep-Mom, I already fired his brains!”

The woman, Shep, snorted, tilting her head in that peculiar, inhuman way, “Really? That’s all it took?”

Zim looked at her and shrugged, “Zim guesses so. The humans are, after all, fairly simple, right?”

Dib then shook his head sharply, “You have a tail!?”

The two aliens peered back towards him before Zim glanced up at something over Dib’s shoulder, “Hey what’s that?”

Dib turned around and saw his father’s face was back on the flying, mechanical device, Professor Membrane waving from where he was as he announced brightly, “Oh, Dib, is this that nice foreign kid you were talking about? Zim was it?”

Dib stomped a foot with a snarl, “HE IS AN ALIEN AND NOT MY FRIEND!”

The Professor chuckled and glanced at Shep, “Kids are so funny aren’t they?”

Shep tilted her head curiously at the man before walking closer to gaze over the device with a light hum.  
As Zim and Dib glared at each, Shep stepped back and merely shrugged, “They definitely keep you busy. When Zim was just barely a day old, he caused a blackout! Also, did you make that projection device yourself?” 

The scientist seemed to take pause at the statement before brightly saying, “Well, that is certainly something! And yes! I did!”

Dib raised an eyebrow at his oblivious father as the man continued to speak with Shep before Dib turned to Zim, “Wait a blackout?”

The alien smiled fondly, “Oh yes. It could have been worse, but yes. Zim bets you could barely even lift your own head at that age, isn’t that right, Dib-stink?”

The boy huffed and ran a hand through his hair, “My heads not that big! Also! Screw you, y-you... you... alien-freak!”

Zim blinked before tilting his head, “Okay? I don’t understand what your denial of your monstrous head has to do with screws, but fine.”

Dib slapped a hand over his face, “It’s an expression, not that an alien would understand!” 

Zim hummed and raised himself up ever so slightly, “No aliens here, Zim is just foreign~”

Dib snarled before turning towards his father, about to point out how Zim was obviously an alien when he noted him and the alien Shep were deep in conversation.  
He pouted and glanced around for anyone else to point out the aliens, just to see about everyone else deep in conversation as kids ran around or were embarrassed by their parents as the adults talked lazily amongst themselves.  
He visibly deflated and opened his mouth to spit something at Zim before closing his mouth when he could think of nothing else.

Zim watched Dib with narrowed eyes before cheerfully saying, “Well, then, the Dib, anything else to say? Because I think I’m going to get some punch, unless you want to accuse Zim of something else no one will believe you about?”

Dib gritted his teeth and marched off leaving Zim alone with Gaz, the girl having wandered over a little bit ago to see what Dib was going on about now. 

A brief silence stretched before Zim glanced at the Dib-sister and stated lightly, “Nice dress.”  
Gaz glanced at him with a narrowed eye before she just grunted. Then as Zim fiddled with his skirt a bit, Gaz pulled out her Game-Slave and started to play some zombie fighting game.

The hybrid tilted his head and gazed curiously at the device before wandering off as Shep started to question Professor Membrane about his lab, the man excitedly talking about his work after Shep admitted to being a scientist herself. 

~

It was a couple hours later when Gaz wandered over to drag Dib away from where he’d been merely pouting by the punch, all his attempts to try and point out Zim’s true identity as an alien having been failures.

The adults paid him no mind, laughing him off as having ‘quite the imagination’ while the kids either ignored him all together, started to tease him, or bluntly sided with Zim.

Even when Zim had tripped Dib with his long, green tail that coiled out from under the Irken’s skirt, no one had even noticed a thing, one of the teachers merely getting onto Dib to be more carefully.

And if that wasn’t enough! Zim’s ‘mom,’ Shep (HONESTLY WHAT KIND OF NAME WAS THAT???), had seemingly bewitched his father!  
The Professor having been utterly happy and excited to talk science with the disguised alien and even inviting the two aliens to come by sometime for some tea!

IT WAS SO STUPID! 

AND EVEN GAZ SEEMED TO SIDE WITH ZIM! Because when Dib had gone over to tackle the alien to reveal him, Gaz had stopped him with a light growl of, “Don’t be an idiot,” before going back to her game with a huff.  
And Zim had the audacity to give him a large, cheeky smile after that, merely wandering off as he chatted with other students, some even complimenting on his skirt! 

IT WAS SOOOOO DUMB! WHY WAS EVERYONE SO BLIND?

Dib sighed as Gaz lead him back home, muttering to himself before his sister snapped at him to ‘stop being so obsessive’ which Dib merely ignored.

He was not obsessive, he was the hero Earth needed! He’d just have to learn Zim’s weakness! And once he found that out! 

ZIM WOULD SUFFER!

AND MAYBE HIS FATHER WOULD PAY SOME GOD DANG ATTENTION TO HIM!

YEAH!


	13. The Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib pushes Zim’s buttons. It doesn’t go over so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I got a sorta schedule sorted out, I plan to release 1 to 3 chapters each week on either Monday or Tuesday and/or Wednesday/Thursday, though this may change or be altered ever so slightly as time goes.  
> But for now that’s what I got. Anyhow this ones not going to be so close to relating to an episode as other chapters will be, but it this one will help set up the events for this au’s version of Bestest Friend.  
> Well, hope you enjoy!

Zim felt surprisingly calm as he went to school the next day, and supposedly, as a seemingly added bonus, it was a ‘Friday.’ And according to what he’d heard and read, this meant that after today, he would have two days that he could avoid the Skool.

And that was perfectly fine by him! 

Maybe Shep would finally let him experiment on a cow then, since he would have nothing to do for that time. 

Because even though the Irken had admitted to caring for the hybrid, she was still rather nervous about letting him go flying about with the Zoot Explorer. 

But Zim knew he’d be fineeee! Because he was honestly really focused on getting a cow to play around with, because they looked funny and made weird sounds. He would literally listen to any instructions on how to manage the thing, even though it would be incredibly boring and lame for the great Zim to have to read an instruction manual.

But if it meant getting a cow of his own, it was worth it.

ZIM NEEDED A COW! 

With a deep inhale, Zim entered the Skool once more, gazing around, expecting something to feel different, but honestly, as he gazed about, it was rather the same old building.

Though as he sniffed lightly, the air smelled just a tad bit odd. As though someone had rolled around in a bunch of dirt, licked a dozen scented candles, and regurgitated their lunch of salmon into the ventilation system.

Zim blinked at the suddenly mental image and shuddered. Why was he like this? 

Shaking himself, Zim continued along to get to his first class.

~

Friday seemed to be actually as good as it was said to be!

Zim had had a great lunch, accepting Shep’s offer to make him one.

Then he had successfully made ‘friends’ with a few of the children.

And while he and the Dib had gotten into a scuffle at the recess and later on before Miss Bitter’s class, they had both stopped it before they got too carried away and someone decided to finally break it up.

It had been perfect! Even the work he did in class had been a breeze! 

Everything was coming up perfectly!

And when the bell rang, Zim didn’t feel like running his way home this time, walking along cheerfully out the Skool.

And his mood would have stayed that way if not for something tripping him up on his way down the sidewalk. Zim, being completely content with things, barley had time to process what was happening, and he went falling forward with a yelp.

As he came to a stop on the concrete, he was mildly glad he hadn’t landed on his back before letting out a light groan of pain.

Then there was a laugh behind him, and Zim almost let a pak leg spike out and impale the fool before the pain distracted him.

Then a voice taunted him from above, “OH, LOOK! _YOU TRIPPED!_ ”

He knew that voice.

Dib. Of course.

Zim grunted and, as they were invisible under his hologram, he slipped his bottom arms from their hiding space under his shirt to help him prop himself back up as his top arms stabilized him. 

He blinked slowly and glared over at the human boy, “Dib!”

Dib merely smiled sharply, “Zim!”

Zim sighed, “Dib.” 

Dib’s smile grew sharper, “ _Zim_.”

Then, with another sigh, Zim got back to his feet and bared his teeth in a snarl as he whipped around, “Didn’t Zim make it clear at recess that you should watch yourself, Stinky-human. You DO NOT want to mess with the MIGHT of ZIM!”

The human scoffed, “You can’t do _anything_ to me, Irken-trash.”

The hybrid stiffened and felt his tail lash behind him, “Eh?”

The human boy paused and eyed him for a moment before smirking, “What? Don’t like me calling you out, you pathetic Irken?”

Something twisted inside of Zim hearing that, and for some reason it made him wince. Then weakly he stated, “Zim isn’t a pathetic Irken! I’m the _b-best!_ ”

Dib smiled sharply, “Yeah, right! You may be clever, but I have a feeling you’re just weak! Because as much as you like to talk, it’s not like you’ve really done anything to the Earth in the few days you’ve been here!”

The hybrid scoffed, crossing his top arms, “Eh? Well, of course I’m going to do something! But _why_ would Zim tell you what he is planning?”

The kid merely rolled his eyes, tauntingly staying, “Is that so? Are you really, because maybe, just a thought, maybe you’re just some defect!”

Zim froze and felt a real growl rise in his chest, eyes narrowing dangerously, “What did you just say?”

Dib blinked and unconsciously stepped back ever so slightly, “What?”

Zim felt himself spit up some Irken in his angry before he merely hissed in response, “What... Did... _You_... **Just**... **Call**... _**Me**_.”

The human took a few more steps back as he glanced around himself, but seeing as most students and teachers were already gone, Dib turned back to face Zim.

The hybrid, however, could have cared less if there were witnesses. 

Because even though he knew that he was acting irrationally, and he had already acknowledged himself as indeed being a defect of the Irken empire, to hear an earthen-smeet say it... it hurt. 

It hurt something deep.

Zim took a deep breath and said in a low voice, “ _Zim would run if he was you._ ”

Dib blinked and stumbled back a few steps, sending something into a frenzy in Zim’s mind as another growl rose up from his chest.

Then the boy turned, and as Zim tensed, Dib finally bolted for it. And Zim was quick to pursue.

~

Dib had absolutely no clue what was happening right now, but he was not going to start pondering now, because he had seemingly pushed the wrong button!

Because sure, they had only known each other for a couple of days, but the banter and fighting had been pretty consistent.

Dib would throw out words and point out the obvious to those near enough, and Zim would shoot him down and then they’d start snapping back and forth. Then they’d shove and push, trip, or break into a scuffle.

But this... was something different. 

This time, Dib was actually nervous. So he kept on running as he heard Zim follow close behind, the Irken having broken into an array of spitting out things in English to switching off into a chittering, clicking sound with hisses and growls soon following.

And even though he knew Zim was an alien from the very first moment he saw him, this, _this,_ is what made Dib realize that he was truly dealing with something far beyond his understanding. 

And that was admittedly... terrifying. 

But for now, all he could do was run, and run he did. Though he could still hear the click and clack of Zim’s boots hitting the concrete as he ran just behind him.

This was not good, not good at all!

~

Zim’s mind was a blur. All he could focus on was getting rid of the disruption, to kill the human running before him.

Even when his chest burned and his limbs ached, he continued, knowing that even though he was getting tired, the Dib was worst off.

The boy was huffing and puffing, nearly tripping from a crack in the sidewalk before hurrying ahead, breathing getting more and more labored.

Zim just had to wait, his lips peeling back with a low rumble, teeth bared and ready.

And then it happened, Dib stumbled. 

It was brief, merely a second, but it was all he needed.

Zim’s legs tensed, claws stretching out, and he leapt as the boy tumbled to the ground.

And he missed.

Just as his claws were about to dig in to flesh, Dib rolled out the way, yelling as Zim merely hissed and snapped his jaws in a vain effort to catch his target.

But he had missed, and as he turned back towards where the boy had last been, Dib had already gotten to his feet, dashing towards a bus.

Zim gritted his teeth, and as his tail lashed, and he was about to pursuit, he felt eyes on him. So many eyes.

Freezing where he was, Zim glanced about sharply and saw people staring, some curiously while others were merely confused at this green-skinned child.

And as Zim paused, it was the perfect opening for the Dib to get on the bus, the bus taking off down the street just a moment later.

But seeing as he had another problem, the hybrid turned his focus to the people, quickly stumbling to his feet as he kept his mouth firmly closed. 

Then after a beat of silence, Zim bolted back in the direction he’d come, the hybrid tense and jittery.

He just had to get home.

And so he ran for it with all his remaining energy.

~

Dib was breathing hard as he glanced out the window, watching as Zim turned away and ran back towards Skool.

And then, and only then, did the boy give a big sigh of relief.

Because when he had stumbled and fallen, as he shot a glance back at Zim, he had had the distinct feeling that the alien wasn’t going to back down from the scuffle that would result.

Worst, Dib was almost certain that Zim was going to kill him. 

And sure. Zim had made threats to do so while Dib bragged about how he’d expose Zim so he could be cut open and experimented on, but for some reason, right then, it hadn’t been about their fight for Earth.

Zim was going to kill Dib for something else. Something personal. And Dib was so confused about what he had said that had caused such a reaction.

But for now, Dib leaned against the window and took deep breaths in and out. He would get back home and he could deal with Zim later.

Dib shuddered, deciding he’d have to be more careful going forward now it seemed. He was not going to get into another chase like that as long as he could avoid it.

Dib let his eyes shut and rested his head against the window. And there as he listened for his stop to be announced, Dib focused on his breathing.   
  


The human had a vague idea of how close things had been back there, but for right now he was safe on the bus.

For now.


	14. The Beginning of a Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib keeps his distance, Zim takes advantage of this, and some kids beat up Dib.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was honestly kinda debating with myself whether or not to include Bestest Friend, because while this au’s Zim is quite similar to canon Zim, he’s got a few notable differences that completely alter his actions.  
> But then again, I thought it would be interesting to play around how you get a character such as happy-to-please Keef involved with these two messes. So this happened. I will update next Monday.
> 
> Also sorry for the weirdly spaced out text last chapter, I don’t know why the chapter turned out like that, but I’m worried if I try to fix it, it’s just going funk it up more. So yeah. This one’s got normal spacing.

Dib had been following Zim around for a couple of weeks now, deciding that a hands on approach was just not worth the possibility of mauling or death.

So he was keeping his distance, and totally not stalking the alien. He was merely observing.

Yeah. Observing.

Looking for weaknesses to exploit.

Though, admittedly, there wasn’t much he found. Because Zim seemed to have gained a number of allies quickly, and as a result of this, any time he did try to point out an oddity to them, his classmates seemed to instantly come to the alien’s defense.

And it was baffling! Because Zim wouldn’t even be there and they’d start acting like Dib was going for some full on attack against the alien!

It was absolutely infuriating! Because Dib was half convinced Zim had done something to their brains, but no one would give him the time of day to test out this theory.

Cause apparently asking people if you can have a look at their brains is ‘weird’ and ‘really messed up’ and blah.

But whatever, Dib would still be merciful towards them when he finally exposed Zim and they all came crawling back.

He smiled at the thought before hearing something rustle next to him, the boy straightening out of his thoughts and musings as he ducked down ever so slightly into the bushes he was using for cover.

There was a beat of silence before he heard children laughing as they played and the sound of wind blowing through the near plant life.  
Then suddenly, he heard someone whisper-yell in his ear, “HEY, DIB!”

Dib did not scream (he would claim til the day he died that the sound that rose out of his mouth was merely a manly sneeze) as he stumbled back and out the bushes.

He tried to balance himself before he fell back on the ground hard. With a wince, he rose a hand to his face so he could adjust his glasses.  
When he did finally look up, he saw Zim standing there before him.  
The alien was grinning widely, and at the sight, Dib felt something nervous flutter in his chest.  
Even though the teeth looked normal like any human’s, Dib remembered how sharp they had been at Teacher-Parent night. He felt another shudder as he thought about what would’ve happened had he not rolled away from the alien’s grasp during the Chase those couple weeks ago.

But at the smugness on Zim’s face, he shook himself out of his anxious thoughts as he yelled, “ZIM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

The alien merely puffed out a light, “Oh, nothing~ What are YOU doing, Dib-human?”

The boy growled and stumbled to his feet, dusting himself off as he merely spat out, “That’s NONE of YOUR business!”

Zim leaned over as he plucked a stick from Dib’s cowlick of hair, holding it out with a falsely sweet smile, “Well, Zim is naturally curious why the Dib-shit is hiding in a bush.”

The boy instantly shrank back from Zim’s contact, heart leaping into his throat as he snarled, “DO NOT TOUCH MEEE!”

Zim held his hands up, smiling sharply as Dib saw his eyes glance about every so slightly, before he spoke up, “Well sorry! I’m just wondering why you’re avoiding me and hiding in plants! It’s so weird, Dib!”

Dib narrowed his eyes at the alien, wondering why he was acting weirdly before he glanced around, realizing they’d drawn a crowd, the children staring at the two of them curiously.  
Then it clicked, Zim was setting him up to look crazy!!

Dib swung his gaze around frantically, “IT IS NOT WEIRD TO HIDE IN BUSHES!”

One girl raised an eyebrow and whispered something to the girls near her, before a dark-skinned boy in a red shirt spoke up, “Uh, yeah? It is?”

Zim nodded mildly before shrugging, “Well, I’ll just leave you alone then Dib. Go back to being with your plants. It seems those are the only friends you have anyway.”

Someone snickered at the comment behind them and Dib gritted his teeth before snapping, “WHATEVER! YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! NOT LIKE I WANT TO TALK TO YOU...” Mind flicking back to what had happened when he had got creative with what to call Zim, Dib merely ended with a meek, “You alien-scum?”

A few kids raised eyebrows at this while some others began to wander off, having expected something more interesting to happen.  
But it wasn’t even like the two were fighting this time, just that freak yelling.

Zim stared at Dib for a long moment.  
Then he blinked and innocently stated, “You are mistaken, Zim is no alien.”

Dib clenched his hands into fists and stomped a foot before marching off, ignoring the whisperings and comments made around him, the boy gritting his teeth.  
They didn’t understand! He’d make them understand! And when they did! THEY WOULD NEVER LAUGH AT HIM AGAIN!

HE WOULD EARN THEIR RESPECT! HE WOULD SHOW THEM ALL!

~

Zim sighed with a false look of pity thrown at the retreating Dib’s head before looking at some of his ‘friends.’  
They merely shrugged at his falsely hurt expression as Zim commented with practiced sadness, “That poor Dib. Why do you think he hates me so much? I mean, it is weird to hide in bushes, isn’t it? Zim was just curious.”

One girl shrugged, Zim vaguely thinking her name might be Greg or Susan or something before she commented mildly, showing off her mouth full of braces, “He’s just like that I guess? But you can hang out with us if you want!”

Zim shrugged, “Zim guesses so...”  
He then walked along to follow after the earthen-smeet, finding it had been so easy to get these children on his side.

And with his little experiment to see if the Dib was really avoiding him, Zim came to the conclusion that he had truly and deeply frightened the human.  
A mild disappointment, but the hybrid decided that was for the best.

After all, when he slowly began to make his moves to subtly take down Earth’s defenses and take the planet over, no one would listen to people such as Dib. And seeing as Dib was now wary of him, the human would most likely avoid actively opposing him.

And in the meanwhile, ever since... that incident... Zim had gained allies pretty quickly. Seeing as how Dib started to avoid him, Zim realized that more children didn’t avoid him as much now that the boy wasn’t screeching around him as often.  
And as he had more time without having to deal with Dib’s antics, Zim could wrap these fools around his claw when he put the effort towards it.  
All he had to do was smile, play along, and worm his way into interactions with others.

As well, since the children were so desensitized to the weird and peculiar with the amount of theories and conspiracies they were forced to listen to for years by Dib, weird actions of his often went ignored.

Honestly, it would probably be easy now to start his takeover with Dib out of the picture. Zim smiled pleasantly as he chatted to a stouter girl next to him as he mused darkly to himself. 

He would show these humans who the superior species was soon. All too soon.

~

Dib had calmed down after his outburst at recess, currently sulking in the boy’s bathroom, trying to desperately figure out how he’d find out Zim’s weakness. 

But so far, he had nothing. And it bothered him to no end.

Dib sighed and rubbed at his face before hearing someone slam open the bathroom door.  
Hurriedly tucking his legs up, and freezing in place, Dib listened curiously as this was soon followed by several others as voices could be heard laughing and taunting.

“Hey weirdo!”  
“Why you running, pipsqueak?”  
“Come on and fight back!”  
“We just want to play with you~!”

And then a shrill voice stated cheerfully before it wavered to something more nervous, “Wh-why not be friends? There’s no, no need for v-violence!”

Dib grew curious at the commotion and slowly walked towards his stall’s door and peeked out, seeing a group of kids pushing around a small, redhead who seemed to be desperately trying to make peace with the bullies.

It was kinda sad, so after a moment, he made a decision.

Ignoring how his voice cracked, Dib shouted, “He-y! What’s going on?”

There was a pause before the bullies slowly turned towards him with narrowed gazes and clenched fists. 

That was the moment when Dib realized he had fucked up.

~

Dib had a busted lip, countless scraps, and a handful of new bruises by the time he finally felt the barrage of physical blows end, the kids laughing as they left him when the Skool bell rang, classes changing out.

But Dib merely laid there for a moment, breathing in and out before wincing as he blinked away spots.

A moment went by as he adjusted his- thankfully not broken- glasses and wiped his face with a grunt. Sniffing as he touched a hand to his nose, making sure it wasn’t bleeding or the sort, he heard shuffling and realized that the ginger kid hadn’t left, the boy hurrying to his side to help him up.

Dib rubbed an ear as it rang and as he allowed himself to be stood back up, the ginger kid gazed over him worriedly. Then as he glanced over Dib with vivid green eyes, he asked lightly, “Uh, need to see the nurse? Or... uh...”

Dib waved him off and snickered, “Nurse? What’s she going to do? Nah, I’m fine. I get scraps and bruises all the time while out hunting the paranormal! Y’know, from chasing monsters... kinda my hobby.”

He then shrugged off the boy’s hand, “Well, I should go now, seeing as the bell rang, but uh, be careful next time, I guess.”  
Briefly dusting off his clothing and peering at his face in the mirror, Dib then turned back to the redhead, “Oh. Also, uh nice meeting you... though it could have been under better circumstances...?” 

The redhead perked up, “Keef.”

Dib nodded and smiled briefly, “Dib.” Then he turned away and exited the bathroom, wincing mildly at all the sound and people in the hallway, before heading to get his stuff and head to his next class.

Unknowns to him, Dib had earned himself an admirer, Keef watching him go before excitedly planning how to repay the boy for helping him.


	15. Back in Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib gains an ally, Keef jumps a fence, Zim laughs at some idiots, and the battle for Earth is back on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you’ll notice this pretty quickly, but this is not so much like the episode at all.  
> And that’s how things are probably gonna be happening with episode adaptions in this au, cause a lot of what happens in the show might not happen at all or will be greatly influenced by the altercations of the au. But anyway, hope you still enjoy!

It was the next day, another dull Tuesday, and Dib was not having a good time. He felt sore and tired and really put out of it.  
But that’s how things went sometimes.  
And he was frankly used to it by now, so he continued on like normal, getting into a yelling match with Zim before Skool started until they had to go their respectable classes at the ring of the bell.

Then Dib sat through his dull classes and did as much work as he usually did. Yeah, just another day.

It was when lunch rolled around that things out of the normal began to happen. Though Dib didn’t quite register it at the time, pushing around his lunch with a soft hum as he just sat there.

And to be frank, Dib was just out of it, so even when someone sat down on his other side, he didn’t really pay it much mind.  
Honestly, he didn’t even register there was a person until Gaz nudged him in the shoulder ever so slightly.

The boy snapped to attention and gazed over before noting his sister gazing at something to his other side. Turning, he saw none other than Keef smiling back at him. Dib forced a smile, “Oh, hi...?”  
The ginger merely beamed back, oblivious to the confusion on Dib’s face.  
Then slowly, as though talking to a child, Dib asked lightly, “Uh, what you doing?”

The redhead merely leaned against him, smile broadening, “I’m just hanging out with my new bestest friend!”

Dib blinked slowly and glanced away towards his sister for help, Gaz merely shot him a glance before mouthing ‘He’s your problem’ as she returned to her game.

With a nervous swallow and grimace, the paranormal hunter slowly pushed away the enthusiastic kid, laughing awkwardly, “What?”

Keef beamed again, making Dib shudder as he proclaimed sweetly, “Well you seemed awfully lonely! Just sitting here with your sister! So I decided to come and hang out! I mean, you helped me out yesterday! And that’s what friends do, right? Help out and hang out and stuff!”

Dib opened his mouth to retort that statement before slowly a plan began in his mind. 

Keef was very desperate it seemed for a friend. And Dib could use some help with Zim. And Zim wouldn’t be expecting Keef... and Keef would listen to Dib if they were friends. 

Oh yeah... it was all coming together.

Dib’s frown slowly grew into a smile, “Yeah, that’s right. Friends help each other! Speaking of which... you want to help me with something?”

Keef’s eyes shot wide open as his smile grew, “Would I!”

The boy’s smile grew sharper, ignoring the raised eyebrow sent his way by Gaz. Dib was in the moment, and in this moment, he was a genius, “That’s great, Keef! So here’s the thing.”

~

Keef was blinking at the Zim kid from where he was hiding behind a street sign, Dib having asked him to keep an eye on the ‘alien’.

And while it was a little weird, Keef was excited to help his new best friend! And that meant doing whatever he could to make Dib happy, that’s how friends worked... right?

Keef nodded and ran a hand through his short, red locks, exhaling a breath as he quickly moved after the green-skinned kid, ducking behind a trash can.

Peering back out, he let out a breath before continuing, freezing under a tree as Zim finally turned and walked into a house. He quickly scrambled for the walkie-talkie given to him and spoke into it, “This is Swamp Ape to Mothman! Zim just entered his house! I’ll give you the address!”

Quickly whispering it into the device, Keef ducked back down to avoid anyone spotting him, as Dib had advised him to do earlier.

Dib was quick to respond, “That’s great! Perfect! I’ll be right there, it’s actually not that far from where I am! DON’T GO ANYWHERE! Mothman out!”

And then there was a buzz of static and the walkie went dead, leaving Keef to sigh and glance back at the ‘alien’ base. He really didn’t believe that Zim was an alien, but it made Dib happy, so whatever.  
Maybe he could even help Dib become friends with Zim! 

Yeah! That would be perfect! 

Keef beamed and felt his foot tap as the excitement built into nervous energy, they they could all be friends! Amazing!

Then he’d have two bestest friends! It would awesome! Going from 0 to 2 friends? It was like all his hopes and dreams were finally coming true!

However, as Keef began to think about it, he was pulled out his thoughts when he heard the walkie cut back on, “Mothman to Swamp Ape! I’m here! Where are you?”

Keef peered out and gazed about before calling out, “Dib?”

He heard a quick response of ‘Be quiet! Over here!’ before glancing over and spotting Dib, the boy peering out from behind a parked car before slowly making his way to Keef.  
Dib looked him over briefly before whispering, “Did you see anything weird? Like I dunno... anything like robots or something?”

Keef shook his head and just shrugged, deciding to stay silent so he didn’t blow this for Dib.  
Dib narrowed his eyes towards the house before whispering, “Ready to go?” 

The boy merely him a thumbs up before Dib started to make his way closer.  
Keef just got up and walked after him.

This would be so much fun!

~

Zim was completely aware that he was being followed, but he was admittedly curious. Because the kid didn’t look like Dib, so why was the red headed human following him?

It was kinda creepy. And if it had been under slightly different circumstances, Zim would’ve killed him. But Zim felt so at ease and in control of the situation, he merely played dumb. 

Because it was interesting.  
And Zim was bored.

So he ducked into his house casually, activated the lawn gnomes, and turned on the TV to keep GIR distracted so he wouldn’t ruin Zim’s entrainment.

Then the hybrid waited. And just as he was going to leave to instead help Shep with those new lasers she had been working on, he heard screaming and yelling as a barrage of intruder alerts could be heard.

Zim felt his tail begin to wag and he opened the window to peer out at the idiots, and to his delight, not only was the redhead weirdo screaming and running around, but the Dib was also there.  
So the Dib got himself a spy, Zim narrowed his eyes and smirked, maybe the kid did have some brains.

He frowned mildly, actually probably not. If the kid just continued to just run into things without even the scraps of a plan, he probably wouldn’t have brains for much longer.

Dib tripped off the sidewalk as he scrambled away from the base’s yard, his coat smoking from where lasers had just scrapped him as the redhead hopped the fence.  
And as Zim started to smile again at how stupid they looked, he couldn’t help but laugh, finding himself unable to keep it down.  
The Dib was quick to take notice of him and swung a finger in his direction, “ZIM!”

Zim wiped away a tear as he snickered, “Dib~!”

Dib got up and growled, “ZIM.”

Zim was absolutely adoring this as he leaned out the window, smile growing by the second as Dib’s little spy crawled towards him pathetically, “Dib.”

The redhead child flopped to the ground with a wheeze and laid next to Dib in a heap.

Dib barely even noticed as he narrowed his eyes and adjusted his glasses ever so slightly in the Irken’s direction, “Zim.”

Zim finally burst out laughing again, waving a gloved claw, “Okay! Okay! Just...pffff! Zim will come to you! Just- HA! Just... stay there!”

Then as Dib puffed up and glowered at his house, Zim strolled outside, making sure to purposefully saunter in a slow, carefree manner so Dib saw how at ease he was at.

His tail twitched as he tilted his head ever so slightly, stopping short of stepping out the yard, “Oh, Dib! It’s so nice that you finally came over. Zim thought you’d given up. Well, the Dib-Smelly has been avoiding Zim for awhile, after all, so can you blame me?”

Dib snarled, stepping forward ever so slightly, “Like I ever would! That was a minor set back!”

Zim rubbed his chin before stating flatly, “Well, are you sure about that?”

The boy huffed, “I AM 100% SURE! YOU WISHED I WOULD GIVE UP, BUT I WILL NEVER! DO YOU HEAR ME!?”

Zim took a step back, “Oh? Zim thinks the whole of Urth can you hear.”  
He then stepped back once more, “But are you really going to try and stop me again? Cause you ran last time~”

Dib took the bait easily, stomping up towards Zim, “REALLY! AND LIKE I SAID, THAT WAS A MINOR SET BACK!”

Zim took a few more steps back as Dib pulled out his hand cuffs and walked after him, in what the hybrid supposed was suppose to be menacing.  
Then he stepped into the yard, and the gnomes went off, one laser nearly clipping the boy in the chest if he hadn’t had the hand cuffs in his grasp.

Dib froze for a moment as the handcuffs turned into nothing before looking at Zim, Zim beaming, before the boy quickly dashed back out the yard, the gnomes having ended their laser fire as they instead pursued. 

With a skip in his step, Zim followed, Dib now standing a good distance from the base, before Zim pouted, “Oh, leaving already?”

Dib made a move towards Zim before his gaze fell on the gnomes, then the human turned and went over to the redhead.  
The redhead merely groaned when the other nudged him with a foot.  
Then with a sigh, Dib pulled him up, sending Zim a sharp look before meekly stating, “Uh... you win this round! B-but I’ll be back!”

The redhead slumped against Dib’s shoulder, before waving at Zim, “Bye-bye!”

Dib hissed something to the kid but Zim didn’t care to listen. He was already turning back around to head into the base again.

When he did get to the door, Zim turned back around and waved merrily, “Cya around then, Dib-shit! And don’t forget to bring you’re little friend with you again! You’re both great fun!”

Then he closed the door and walked back to see what GIR was doing, the hybrid feeling absolutely ecstatic. 

Though he wouldn’t admit it, Zim had been so disappointed and almost saddened by how little Dib paid to this rivalry of theirs after only such a short time when he’d put so much into it prior.

Zim especially was regretful that it was his actions that had led to such.

But now it seemed Dib was back in this for real! And he had brought someone new into the fun! And even though Zim could admittedly just be rid of them here and now, Zim didn’t want to. This was fun. It gave him something to do.  
So for now, Zim basked in the joy of knowing that the game for Earth was back on, full swing! 

This would be great!

~

Dib was sitting in his room, having walked Keef home after making sure the kid hadn’t gotten a concussion or something after hopping Zim’s fence.  
He was trying to figure out how to go about dealing with Zim again, because while he was definably not backing down, Dib was re-thinking what he had actually gotten involved in.

On one hand, he was RIGHT about there being aliens, and NOT JUST INSANE.  
On the other hand, Zim was unpredictable. In the bad, might straight up MAUL HIM one day while the next he’d just mock the size of Dib’s head, sorta way.

It was a special problem.  
One Dib decided to deal with the best way he knew how... ignore the details, jump back into it first thing tomorrow, and hope for the best.  
And then Dib laid down on his bed as he curled up in his red blanket without giving this another thought.

He had an alien to hunt tomorrow afterall!


	16. Information and Informants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shep gains some intel.

Zim was still half asleep when he woke up a few hours before he’d have to deal with Skool.  
He blinked his eyes slowly before deciding it was going to be a nice day. Dib and the redhead would probably try to fight and expose him, then he could get them back with some cheap prank or another, then he would probably end up in another screaming match with Dib.

Yeah. That sounded like a good Skool day.

His antenna flicked softly and he became aware of GIR screaming in his face with an excited, dopey grin.  
Zim slowly used a clawed foot to push the SIR unit away as he lazily rolled out his bed, muttering a ‘morning’ to the robot before slowly getting up to put his pak on.

And as he felt the machine click back into place, and energy surge through him, Zim walked over to pat GIR on the head.  
The robot grinned at him and chirped, “MASTER, IMMA EAT A TURKEY TODAY!”

The hybrid merely smiled and patted the SIR unit’s head again, “Okay. But GIR, you get to do that as long as you don’t mess with Shep, blow up part of the lab, and don’t eat another human baby. Is that understood?”

The SIR’s vivid teal eyes flashed a brief and vibrant red before he went back to normal as he squealed, “Okie-dokey!”  
He stuck his tongue out with a sound Zim imagined a squeaky toy to make before GIR suddenly shrieked, “HERE I COME TURKEEEEEEEYYYYYY!!!”

And with that last scream of joyish insanity, GIR began to vibrate before he suddenly blasted off towards the elevator, most likely back up to the ground layer of the base.  
Zim silently prayed for that turkey’s fate to be something quick and painless. 

Because he was hoping to not have to clean out another half-living creature from GIR’s insides ever again.  
But seeing as GIR could literally give no fucks about what he did to himself, the world around him, or any poor thing that gained his attention, Zim just hoped it wouldn’t be for a while.

With a shudder, Zim turned away and walked along to grab his Skool work for the day before shoving it in his pak, then, with that, he rubbed an eye lazily as he got in the elevator.  
Pausing for a moment as he remembered he had a few hours to kill, Zim headed on downwards, towards Shep’s part of the underground base.

~

Shep watched the Vortian on screen as he praised her latest creation, happily telling her how the device had helped so much in the latest encounter with Irken forces.

She merely leaned back in her chair, holding a mug Zim had gotten her that said ‘Coolest Mad Scientist,’ before taking a long sip.

With a hum as the warm and sweet drink helped ease her nerves, Shep looked back towards the screen.  
She then perked her antenna and smiled at the Resisty leader, “Well, I’m glad that you’re finding my work beneficial to your, hm, mission.”

Lard Nar nodded before dramatically stating, “We are one step closer to our cause!”   
He then beamed as the other aliens on the ship began to cheer and yell. After getting them settled down, he turned back to Shep, and cheerfully stated, “Anyhow, we’ll be sending the next supply shipment in soon. Want any snacks while we’re at it? We managed to cut off a supply shipment from the Massive a little bit ago.”

His voice grew grim, “So many snacks.”

Shep hummed softly into her cup, sticking her long, worm-like tongue in it before looking up, “I mean, sure. But don’t forget I need that base core soon. And I mean soon, otherwise you can forget getting any power from the thrusters.”

The scientist flicked an antenna back as she heard her lab door open before focusing herself back on the Vortian, who had briefly stepped back from the screen to check something before he returned.

The Irken scientist saw Zim out the corner of her eye walking along and she glanced at him as Lard Nar checked something on an alternate screen. Then as Shep waved over her smeet, the Resisty leader commented, “Just double-checking here, you need about three right?”

Zim wandered over and sat down with Shep as he peered up at the Resisty before the scientist replied to the question, “That is affirmative. One for testing, two if it fails, and a third for the finished product. Do you have the resources to spare? I can go by with two.”  
Shep nodded softly to herself doing the mental math, setting her mug down on the near counter.

Lard Nar merely waved a hand dismissively, “It’s fine. Also, I see Zim joined us, hello!”

Zim perked up and grinned, “Hi, Lard Nar.” 

The Vortain hummed with a nod before turning back to regard the Irken as he commented mildly, “Beside that, we’re all good to go?”

Shep nodded once before speaking to Zim as the Resisty informed them that they would need to momentarily disconnect as they maneuvered a field of space junk. 

Zim perked up and leaned agonist her as the Irken stated mildly, “Zim, that hooman science-man invited us to a ‘tea’ next week. So be aware of that, alright?”  
Zim nodded as she continued, “Also how is that cow of yours doing?”

The hybrid chuckled, “Oh that. GIR ended up launching it, so I had to go in the Zoot and find it before it died. Earth life is weird and some things are not as resilient as you’d think!”

Shep hummed as she cuddled against her smeet, “Well then. Did you find it?”

Zim sighed and waved a hand, “More or less of it. But I did clone a new one! Because Zim is THE BEST!”  
He cackled and merely snuggled further into Shep’s side as she chuckled softly. Then as he began to doze, Shep softly stroking his head, Zim heard the Resisty reconnect communications.

“Alright! We are back on, is everything coming clearly?”

Shep hummed and nodded as Zim’s eyelids began to feel heavy, “All clear. Now, you had said previously that there was something one of your informants had found out?”

Lard Nar laughed excitedly, “Yes! Indeed! You know, she actually joined a little after you and Zim had!” Zim flicked an antenna lazily at the comment, “But just like you are proving a brilliant mind and capable, she is proving to be taking this very serious and is quite the operative.”

Shep nodded, “Yes, you’ve said. It’d be interesting to met this other defect one of these days. But go on.”

The Vortian lowered his voice as he spoke now dramatically as he said, “Now have you heard about The Great Assigning?”

And the was the last thing Zim heard as he fell asleep again.

~

Shep hummed to herself mildly before checking the earthen time, making sure Zim did not miss a day at the Skool for sleeping.

He had been rather excited, saying that the Dib was fighting with him again for Earth. Shep thought it was just precious, and as long as Zim didn’t get too intense in his fighting, it would be fine with her.

So as she gazed at the Earth clock, she decided she’d let him sleep for a bit while she read up on all the information currently available on the ‘Great Assigning’ business.

It was to be lead by the two new Tallest (that in itself was intriguing, two Irken leaders? She wondered how they functioned), Red and Purple. 

Now these two, she knew of them. Said to be a constant duo, at least a couple hundred Earth years old with a reputation to be, while seemingly quite content with whatever and often described as lazy, quite brutal with a described showmanship. 

Because even for their described ease and laziness, they had still been Irken Elites. And that was nothing to bat an eye at. 

Though Shep still thought they were idiots from what she remembered of them, as well as what she was now reading of them.

Snack obsessed idiots.

Shep sighed and scratched her chin as she leaned back in her chair as she continued to scroll along the data. And the more she read, the more Shep began to understand that this was basically just going to be a continuation of Spork’s Operation Doom.   
She clicked her tongue and shook her head with a chuckled. That was when Zim moved beside her, causing her to yelp, having forgotten her smeet had even been there.  
So after nearly falling out of her chair, Shep turned back to check the Earth clock before waking Zim up and telling him to go to Skool.

And as she waved him off, Shep decided to try and get in touch with the informant, sending a brief transmission to the Resisty’s Vortian ship.  
Now all she’d have to do was wait. With a groan, Shep got up and decided to see what GIR was doing.


	17. Things Change, Things Stay the Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two idiots happily beat each other up while Gaz and Keef just kinda watch.

Dib was pacing in his room, tapping a finger to his chin as he pondered how he would destroy the alien menace.

He couldn’t just go after him, because whether he admitted it or not, Zim was beyond his knowledge, and as so it wasn’t hard for the alien to surprise Dib. And that meant it wasn’t hard for the alien to make a fool of him.  
Dib just didn’t know enough about him yet, cause even though he spent a lot of time observing and trying to learn about the alien when he could, Zim was just too shifty and unpredictable.  
So would Dib have to just be stealthy? Though last time he tried to observe the alien without discovery, he was found out! 

So how would Dib deal with Zim? Could he use Keef as a diversion? Would that work or would Zim do something to the redhead?

Dib tugged at his hair as he gave a shout, “UGH! THIS IS DUMB!”  
He began to pace faster, biting his lip as he tried to come up with an answer.

IF ONLY HE HAD ZIM’S WEAKNESS! 

He was about to keep pacing as he pondered this if not for his sister interrupting him.

Gaz opened his door without barely giving a knock, just growling out at him, “Dib. Are you coming or not? I’ll leave without you.”

Dib froze and turned to stare at her, “Huh?”  
The girl merely stood there before sighing. Then slowly, ever so slowly, she grounded out, “Skool. Dib. We still have Skool. Are you coming? Or not?”

The boy blinked before hurrying to grab his stuff, “Oh! Uh! I knew that!”

He merely got a snort and an eye roll as a response before Gaz walked away, back downstairs.

Dib quickly followed after.

~

Gaz, for once, felt a flicker of relief when they finally got to Skool.

Because Dib was apparently back in full swing with his apparent quest to destroy Zim and keep the alien from supposedly taking over the Earth or whatever.

Sure, he was right this time. Zim was an alien for sure. But Dib had cried wolf with so many other things that no one was ever going to believe him.  
Especially after the incident where their father had literally sent Dib to a crazy house.

Gaz shuddered and stopped to level a glare at Dib as she got to the Skool steps.  
Dib stopped beside her but continued talking, and she was going to hiss for him to shut up except he had such genuine excitement on his face as he bounced on his feet.

She huffed a breath before stating lightly, “Dib.”  
Her brother seemed to barely hear her, now talking about how Keef could help him in his endeavor.  
Gaz sighed and growled out, “Dib.”  
Still nothing, so after a pause, she just punched him the gut.

It wasn’t even one of her harder punches, but it sure got Dib’s attention, and he finally shut up as he held his gut.  
Then Gaz said flatly, “Dib, do not let this get out of control, hear me?”

Dib waved a dismissive hand and Gaz grunted, well whatever then. Fine by her.

Then she turned around and went off to go ahead and get to class before the bell rang, leaving Dib to wait for Zim and Keef.

Weirdos.

~

Keef denied his brother’s offer to drive him that day, instead skipping to Skool.

He had to get rid of this excited energy somehow after all, he did not want a repeat of last time he thought he’d have a new best friend, having disturbed the last kid so much that Keef caused the whole family to move.  
This put a light damper in his mood, but with a brief shake of his head and a deep breath in, the redhead hurried along to meet up with Dib.

Keef squealed with joy, he couldn’t wait to see his new bestest friend again!

And he wouldn’t ruin it this time!

~

When Zim arrived at Skool, Dim and Keef were waiting for him.

The hybrid felt his tail began to wag as he narrowed his gaze at the earthen-smeet. Dib sneered at him as he slowly crossed his arms. And Keef merely waved at him.

Zim and Dib glanced at Keef for a moment before glaring daggers at the other, then, Zim stalked up to the Dib-smelly.

There was a pause of silence, and some of the other Skool children that were hanging around glanced over to see if they’d start yelling or fighting again.

Zim merely growled out a low, “Dib.”

In response, Dib leaned back ever so slightly so he was looking down at Zim, “Zim.”

The hybrid bared his teeth, “DIB.”

The human bared his right back in a silent snarl, fist clenching, “ZIM.”

The hybrid clenched his fist as well as he approached Dib, “DIB!”  
Dib raised his fists slowly, “ZIM!”

Then as the two got closer to each other, Keef suddenly jumped in and swung an arm around both of them, hugging the two for a brief moment.  
Zim hissed like an angry cat and shoved the redhead away as Dib merely stood there frozen, utterly confused and still processing what had just happened.

Keef merely squealed and excitedly said, ignoring the promised death in Zim’s gaze, “Oh! This is sooooo much fun! The three of us! You two playing around!”

Dib then blinked and squinted at Keef before shooting a glance at Zim.  
Zim was dusting himself off with a shudder before looking back at the boy. Then the hybrid merely shrugged and mouthed ‘You brought him here.’ 

Dib sighed and turned sharply to Keef but as he was about to explain that they were not just ‘playing,’ he was cut off by the bell ringing. 

The three paused before Dib swung around to Zim, “WE CONTINUE THIS AT LUNCH!”

Zim crossed his arms with a huff, and as he turned himself slightly, Dib realized that the alien was wearing a dress.  
Then with a sneer, Zim growled, “See you then, Smelly.”

Dib raised a finger to question the outfit, but he merely shook his head softly and grabbed Keef by the arm.  
He shouted over his shoulder briefly as he walked away, “SEE YOU THEN, ALIEN SCUM!”

And Keef merely cheerfully waved a goodbye as he yelled as well, “See you, Zim! It’s always nice to hangout!”

Zim grunted and after a moment, he followed into the Skool.

~

Zim glared at Dib from across the cafeteria.  
And Dib returned it just as fiercely.

Keef was just sitting next to Dib, softly asking Gaz if Dib and Zim did this a lot.

Then Dib made a move, standing up and stalking over to Zim’s table. Zim glared at him the whole way there.

Dib sneered, “Zim.”  
Zim sneered right back, unconsciously shuffling over some so Dib would sit down.  
Dib sat down and leveled a glare towards Zim, “So we meet again.”

The alien snickered, “Indeed we do, Dib-shit.”

Dib snorted, “Yeah, whatever, alien-scum!”

Zim stood up and pointed at him, “Urth-stink!”

The boy stood up as well, crossing his arms, “Space-boy!”

“Big head!”

“Greeny!”

“Earth-monkey!”

“Space lizard!”

The two started to giggle, and both sat down again until they could get their chuckles under control.

Zim then said, between snickers, “Zim missed this!”

Dib nodded as he wiped one of his eyes, “Yeah. Alright, I’ll fight you at recess. Sound like a plan?”

Zim hummed and tapped a gloved claw against his chin, “I can work with that. Fine.”

Dib nodded before standing up, and after a moment, he quickly snatched up Zim’s tray and shoved it into the alien’s face.

Then he straight up ran back to his normal seat, ignoring the cursing and the eyes watching him.

As he sat down, he couldn’t help but begin to snicker again as he ate his lunch. Today was a good day.

Keef stared at the boy and looked over at where Zim was covered in mashed potatoes and some of that gray Skool mush. He looked at Gaz, “Uh, is tha-“

Gaz shot him a glare from beneath her purple bangs, “It’s perfectly fine. Now shut up. Because so help me, I will rip out your spinal cord and beat you with it if you cause me to lose this game.”

With a swift motion, Gaz turned away and her fingers continued to tap away as she played.

The redhead leaned over towards Dib and quietly used a plastic spook to tap out in Morse code ‘Your sister scares me on several levels.’ 

Dib merely glared at Zim, oblivious as usually.  
Keef merely sighed and shrugged, turning towards his lunch as he began to eat. At least he didn’t have to sit at the reject’s table anymore.

~

Zim tackled Dib the moment he spotted the boy at recess, and the two went at it almost immediately.

Kids swerved their gazed over to watch while Gaz and Keef stood off to the sidelines, talking mildly about the new game Gaz was playing now. 

Keef had realized pretty quickly that he didn’t really know much about these two, and even though he still thought they were friends, there was no way he was going near those flying fists and sharp kicks the two sent at one another.

So he was content to just wait till they stopped fighting at the least.

Dib swung a fist hard into Zim’s jaw as the hybrid reared a knee upwards into where the boy’s spooch would be.  
Zim paused for a brief moment as he pondered what human’s had inside of their frail shells before being knocked out of his musing by Dib tugging at his wig.

With a snarling hiss, Zim snatched Dib’s glasses before straight up yeeting them so he could just punch the boy freely without worrying about the obstruction.

Dib made a noise of surprise before batting at the alien’s face, trying to reach up again and grab the stupid wig of his.  
As Zim tried to block him, the boy then made a go at Zim’s stomach, punching him as hard as humanly possible.

And to Dib’s surprise, Zim winced before yelping, “AW FUCK! MY SPOOCH!”  
Then he tumbled off of Dib and began to flail about before curling in a fetal position, raising a single claw as he wheezed, “Zim... needs... moment.”

Dib stood up and took a few deep breaths before squinting around for his glasses, just for someone to gently place them in his hand.  
As he quickly put them on, he saw Keef giving him a thumbs up, then, returning the gesture briefly, Dib turned back to Zim.

Just to get gut-checked as Zim’s curled fist dove for the boy’s own spooch. Dib let out an ‘oof’ before going down.

A moment of quiet went by before Zim let out a soft breath.

The Irken then grumbled and sat down next to Dib for a breather as Skool children began to wander off, seeing the two had stopped fighting for the time being.  
Dib flopped on his back and exhaled softly before sitting himself up with a grimace.

Then he brushed off his clothes and asked Zim, “What in the world is a spooch?”

The alien merely huffed, “Superior super-organ.”

The boy raised his eyebrows with a snort, “Really?”

Zim shot him a look, “Eh? Uh, well, YES ACTUALLY! Everything about THE ALL POWERFUL ZIM is SUPERIOR! So there. Dookie-face!”

Dib rolled his eyes and sniffed, “Sure. Well that’s just one more thing that the scientists can study when I expose you and they do HORRIBLE and EXCEPTIONALLY PAINFUL tests on YOU! HA!”

Zim waved a dismissive hand, sticking his tongue out as he dusted his purple-and-pink-striped dress off, “Bleh. Yeah right. Well, smell you later, Dib-stink.”  
And with a brief flicking of ‘the bird,’ Zim wandered off to go stare at a very colorful butterfly that just flew past him. 

Dib gritted his teeth as his greatest enemy wandered off, before turning to cheerfully comment to Keef and Gaz, “Well that went great!”

Gaz merely glanced the boy over, eyeing blossoming bruises and his bloody nose. She didn’t comment, looking back at her game with a grunt.

Keef however gave the boy a long look before slowly nodding with an awkward smile, “Yayyyyy???”

~

The two didn’t see each other again until Miss Bitters class, the towering, monstrous form of the human (?) woman (?) growling out how life was filled with disappointment and how everyone should be thankful that they were even still alive.

Dib and Zim merely drowned her out as they begin mouthing threats at the other and shaking their fists and the sort.  
And the moment they got out of class, the two were shoving and tripping the other before getting into another, though much more brief, fist fight on the Skool lawn.

Then the two dusted themselves off, spat out a few words and curses, and went off their desperate ways.  
~

And that’s how things went for the rest of the week.  
The two yelling at each other first thing in the morning, then sitting next to each other at Zim’s table so they could blatantly insult the other during lunch, before getting into a fist fight at recess, and then threatening each other in Miss Bitters class, before getting into either another physical fight or a screaming match after Skool.

And the two couldn’t be happier. And for the most part, everyone else let them go at it, grabbing some popcorn to watch the show as Gaz and Keef made sure the two didn’t tear each other apart, well mostly Keef did that. Gaz just let things be for the most part.

Overall, things were seemingly right with the world. For now at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy, hope you enjoyed this latest chapter, kudos and your thoughts on the story’s so far are greatly appreciated.
> 
> Next chapters will be up Tuesday.


	18. When It Rains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim decides he doesn’t like rain.

It was Thursday afternoon of the following week when it started to rain.

Zim had been absently staring outside as Miss Bitters spoke about the consequences of eating glue or something when the first rumble rolled through.

The hybrid felt his antenna twitch under his wig and as he gazed out the window, something began to fall from the sky.  
He blinked at it and glanced at the classroom, just noting there was glue on everything. But other than that, no one else seemed disturbed by the odd occurrence outside, though Zim could practically feel Dib’s narrowed glare on him.

Zim decided to ignore him, waiting for when the bell rang and Miss Bitters snarled for them to get lost, though as Zim made his way out, he could feel Dib particularly breathing down his neck.

With a sigh, Zim glanced over his shoulder as he gave the boy a look.  
Dib narrowed his eyes at him and merely growled, “You seemed surprised about the rain, ZIM. What? Doesn’t YOUR planet have any RAIN?”

Zim rolled his eyes and swiped his tail into Dib-Smelly’s ankles, and as he continued walking, he heard the satisfying sound of Dib yelping before a thud of him falling over.

Zim was going to get to the bottom of this ‘rain’ phenomenon.  
So focused on his task, he merely decided to ignore when the Keef started walking beside him, asking him how his day was and where Dib was and the sort.

As he stepped outside, Zim could see several children running around as the ‘rain’ gathered in puddles on the ground.  
From his vantage point, it looked like more of that Earth water. And Zim was admittedly curious about why it was exactly falling from the sky.

Had Shep mentioned this when they first came to his planet? He couldn’t remember. Though he did vaguely remember her commenting something about this planet’s water having ‘nasty consequences’ or something like that. Whatever that meant.

Zim cautiously peered upwards at the sky before ducking back under cover, nervously picking at his shirt before he heard Dib shout from behind, “ZIM!”

With a low sigh, he turned around and gave the boy a long look, Keef swerving around with a cheerful greeting for Dib.  
Dib glanced at Keef for a moment, “Hey Keef.”  
He gave a brief smile before turning back towards Zim with a snarl, “ZIM!”

With a roll of his eyes, Zim stared at Dib before sighing, “What is it now Dib?” 

The human merely walked over to stare at the rain, easing next to Zim and Keef, “Well, I couldn’t help but see you’re avoiding the rain, alien. What’s the matter, ZIM? Scared of some WATER?”

Zim looked back out and watched as some of the Skool children began to splash one another by jumping in the puddles.  
It sent a shiver up his spine but he merely scoffed in Dib’s face, “ZIM IS NOT SCARED!” He turned back to look at the Skool yard, “It’s just nasty.”

Keef hummed mildly at that, “Mud is super annoying to get out of hair.”

Zim glanced at the redhead before turning to give Dib a sharp grin, “SEE! Zim’s concern is validated by other completely NORMAL Urth-children worms!”

Dib snorted and rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say, Zim.”

As Zim swirled towards Dib with a raised fist, he paused to glance off to the side, “Oh, hi Gaz.”

Dib and Keef looked over as well to see Dib’s sister glaring at them. Gaz merely stood there a moment more before giving a grunt in reply. 

Then she turned towards her brother and gritted out a brief, “Dib, are you coming or what? I’m leaving, with or without you.” She paused and smirked, “Preferably without.”  
She held up a purple umbrella and gave a narrowed glance at the rainy weather then glanced back at her brother.

Dib just shrugged, “Go on without me, I’ll catch up after I expose Zim.”

Gaz rolled her eyes and left after opening the umbrella, giving pause as she shot a look at Dib before heading off.  
Zim watched her go curiously, noting she was staying dry with the use of cover.

With a smirk, Zim turned slowly towards Dib, the boy giving him a look.  
Keef watched the two now, and seeing the look of mischief in Zim’s eyes, he stepped back ever so slightly. Then Zim suddenly lunged at Dib, tearing off his black trench coat before dashing off with a cackle.

Keef jumped out his way, and Zim dashed across the Skool yard, avoiding the major puddles as he aimed for an oak tree sitting along the sidewalk, the coat held over his head.

Dib gave a whine and bared his teeth in a snarl before looking at Keef, “Okay! Now I can’t be the only one to know how weird he is? Who does that?! ALL just to avoid some RAIN!”  
Keef shrugged and stated innocently, “Maybe it’s because of his skin condition?”

Dib gave him a look before hurrying off to pursue Zim, the alien having huddled underneath the oak tree as he seemed to pause Gaz to ask her something.

But the boy merely speed up as he went, Dib deciding that if he got into trouble with Gaz, it was worth it to see Zim suffer.  
Gaz turned away from Zim as the rain stopped falling, and just as the alien crept out from his hiding spot, he got soaked as Dib jumped into a nearby puddle.  
Dib snorted into laughter as Zim let out a screech the same time that Gaz gave Dib a promise of death through her gaze alone.

There was a pause as Keef walked over, and everyone just stood there. Gaz and Zim soaking wet as Dib watched the alien to see if anything would happen.

Zim then slowly smiled, “Oh, okay. That actually wasn’t that bad... huh.”

Gaz merely growled before storming off, throwing a snarl of, “DIB I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU FOR THAT!” over her shoulder.

Dib just glanced at Keef before shrugging, “I don’t know what I was expecting. Uh, cya, I guess?”  
As Keef waved him off as Dib followed after his sister. The boy then turned to comment to Zim, “Well. That happened.”

Zim glanced at him for a moment before he merely commented, “Yeah. It was kinda anti-climatic.”

Keef hummed, “I guess so... wait, uh, Zim?”

“Eh?”

The redhead scratched at his hairline before curiously pointing at the other’s skin, “Uh, your skin is... hmm? How do I put this... smoking?”

Zim glanced at the arm the other was pointing at, and mildly stated as he watched his skin began to sizzle and steam, “Huh. Well that’s new.”

Letting out a sudden scream, Zim began to violently flop around on the ground. Then, seeing that the ground was also covered in water, he hurriedly got up as he momentarily rolled along the side walk. Seeing that it was also covered in water, Zim jumped up with another agonized scream to instead full on book it back to his base, leaving Keef to watch.

As he watched Zim fade off into the distance, Keef shrugged and decided to head off home himself. Though he did briefly pause to grab Dib’s coat from where Zim had dropped it, planning to give it back to the boy tomorrow.

~

Dib was kinda disappointed nothing really interesting happened with Zim. He had finally thought he had an idea of a weakness, but apparently not.  
He sighed as he kicked a rock lightly, complaining to Gaz, “I just don’t get it! He’s an alien! So why doesn’t Earth, like, I dunno, hurt him with something? I FINALLY THOUGH I HAD SOMETHING! But nope! Apparently I was wrong!”

Gaz growled and swung towards him before both paused, hearing a high pitched scream coming their way. As the two slowly turned around, the siblings watched curiously as Zim ran by them down the sidewalk, screaming all the way.

Dib couldn’t help but shout, “HEY ZIM! I THOUGHT THE WATER DIDN’T HURT YOU!”

Pausing in his tracks, Zim turned around and raised a finger as he shouted back, “ZIM THOUGHT SO, TOO!”

Dib raised an eyebrow, “THEN WHY IS YOUR SKIN SMOKING!?”

Zim merely screamed, “IT IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT! BUT I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!”

Then he began screaming again, dashing off towards his house, leaving Dib to squint off to the side towards Gaz, “He WAS steaming, right? That wasn’t just me?”

Gaz grunted, “His skin looked like it was burning off, I think.”

Dib blinked, “Huh. Okay then.”

And the two continued back home, Gaz plotting how to get back Dib for splashing her while Dib was wondering how he could use this newfound weakness of Zim’s to his advantage.

~

Zim grimaced as he burst inside the base, deciding that this planet sucked.  
As he rubbed a claw down his face, wincing at the flakes of skin that peeled off with the action, he decided that he’d need to be more prepared.

Because he had made a mistake of underestimating this place.

And that mistake fucking hurt. 

So, with his head held high, tears welling up in his eyes from embarrassment and pain as his tail lashed wildly behind him, Zim hurriedly made his way down to Shep’s lab.


	19. Can’t Believe He Fell For It!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shep realizes for the 50th time that Zim is a dumbass, Zim continues to be an egotistic dumbass, Dib shoves green boy in a puddle, and stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just going to say it now, but this chapter has quite a bit of cursing and the usage of such language in it when compared with previous ones. But heck, why not let the alien curse?

Shep flicked an antenna back when she heard someone walking around the lab, pausing the ‘movie’ GIR had set up for her to call over her shoulder, “ZIM?”

She got a long whine of ‘Sheeppppppp!’ in reply. Shep frowned at that, curiously asking, “Zim? What’s wrong?”

And then Zim came around the corner, still having his holoband activated before swiping it off. He looked like shit.

“Zim. You look like shit.”

She got a whimper this time and the hybrid crawled into her chair with winces and soft yelps before just hugging her close. Shep bit her lip and as her eyes darted over him, it looked like his skin had been burned and was peeling.

“What the fuck happened?” Shep could feel her concern growing, Zim’s pak, as a result of not completely being interpreted into his body’s nervous and biological systems, was going to take awhile to heal this on its own.  
And the contact Zim was craving would most likely hurt him even more seeing how he was covered in peeling skin. Worriedly, Shep nudged him ever so slightly when he didn’t respond, flinching at the whimper he made.

After a pause and a sniffle, Zim merely said lowly, “I hate this planet.”

Shep perked an antenna, glancing briefly over to where GIR had fallen asleep next to the computer screen, making sure he was still asleep or whatever it was he was doing.  
Then slowly she asked, “Why’s that?”

“Water is stupid.” Everything clicked. Peeling skin, the comment about this planet... oh wait, shit.

“Zim get off me now! Get off and take off your moist clothing now.”

Zim flinched at the harshness, but his own eyes widened seeing Shep glancing at him with wide fearful eyes. Quickly he scrambled back, grimacing at the pain and whimpering softly to himself.  
Then as he watched Shep quickly tear off her gloves and her lab coat, tossing them as far away from herself as she could, Zim began to do likewise, his pak removing the wig and contacts as well as he worked off his shirt and such.

Zim looked over at Shep when he was done and noted curiously how small she looked without her coat, her form surprisingly frail, but her words still sharp and pointed as she ordered the computer to clear away the clothing, get it dried off, and to replace it.

Zim just then looked at himself, as more skin trickled off his arms and legs, though his stomach in particular looked absolutely horrendous, the beginnings of blisters and what looked like pus filled sores covering the most of his spooch region.  
He flinched when Shep walked over to him, her gaze harsh and critical as she gazed over his form from antenna to tail.

Shep then pinched the area right above her nostrils, tugging at one of her antenna before looking sharply at Zim, “Zim, you fucking idiot! It was to rain today, I had informed you. But I assume you ignored that like most things to do with your safety, no?”

Zim could feel a whimper rise in his throat before Shep just rubbed her bare hands down her face with a deep sigh.  
Slowly, she peeked at him through her claws, “Zim, I love and care for you greatly, but when a planet’s weather includes it pouring down liquids that are literally acidic to Irkens, it pays to fucking listen to me so we can avoid Irkdamned shit shows like this!”

Zim merely nodded, the hybrid eyeing Shep before sniffling out, “Ye-yes, Shep-Mom.”

Shep sighed and carefully grabbed a hold of one of his claws, “Come along, let’s go to the healing chamber. Otherwise, it will take hours for the sores and blistering to go away.”

Zim nodded softly, before grimacing, “B-but, why, why hasn’t it, uh, rained before?”

Shep hummed softly as she pulled her stupid ass smeet along to the medical bay, “Because, we came here during a dry spell. This planet has rain as a normal happenings, but due to environmental conditions of recent, that hasn’t been the case. But that is seemingly over and now it’s going to be a regular thing for the remainder of this month. Hopefully dry spells are more common throughout the year.”

Zim flicked an antenna before grimacing at the motion, and even though the hybrid decided he was going to totally blow this planet up one day for its plot to hurt Zim, he decided Urth had won for now.  
With pride shattered to pieces, and body aching and sore, Zim crawled into the healing chamber for recovery, passing out soon after as pain killers and the such were pumped through his system.

He was going to get Dib for this.

~

Dib was happily skipping to Skool, deciding that this was going to be the best Friday ever, the boy cheerfully exclaiming so aloud, much to his sister’s annoyance.

He couldn’t wait to make a fool of Zim today, hell, he couldn’t wait to exploit this new weakness for his own amusement at this point!

And all it took was some water, assuming it was the water. Hm, he’d have to confirm that. Make sure he was correct. Yeah.

As he began to ramble aloud to his sister again, he didn’t even notice Keef walking next to him until the redhead spoke up cheerfully, “Hey, Dib.”

Dib swung his gaze over, mouth clamping shut, before, after briefly adjusting his glasses, the boy smiled brightly at the other. He then cheerfully replied, “Hi, Keef!”

The redhead nodded with a smile then cautiously gave a greeting to Gaz as well, “Hi, Gaz.”

She swung her gaze towards him and the redhead felt a shudder run down his spine before she lowly growled, “Keef.”

Honestly not knowing if that was a good response or a death threat, he nervously smiled before looking back towards Dib, “Sooooo.... uh, how’s your morning been?”

Dib beamed, “Oh, just wonderful! Also, Keef, yesterday, what caused Zim’s skin to start, y’know, literally steam?”

Keef scratched at his face as he shrugged, “Well, I think it was due to you splashing him with that puddle. I guess he’s got some reaaaaally bad skin condition for that to happen.”

Dib bared his teeth in a strained smile, “I’m going to ignore the last bit of what you said.” He then slyly smirked, “But it was indeed the water. That’s PERFECT!”

The redhead glanced at him, “Uh... okay. Oh! Hey, before I forget, I picked up your coat yesterday, here, it’s in my bag.”  
The boy hummed as he handed over said coat after ruffling through his backpack, Dib giving him a light smile, “Oh thanks.”

Keef waved a hand, “Anything for my bestie!”  
The redhead hurried along towards the Skool doors as they arrived at the building, pausing before cheerfully saying, “Oh hey! There’s Zim! HI ZIM!”

Dib’s head swung around as his gaze locked onto Zim, the alien waving back at Keef before snarling at Dib, “Hey, Dib-shit! Fuck you!”

Everyone in the area paused, kids glancing over as someone started to say a light, “Oh! Green boy’s pissed~!”

Even Gaz glanced over, intrigued as Zim marched over towards Dib, those in his way backing off quickly at the narrowed gaze and clenched fists.  
Then he stopped before Dib, the boy wide eyed as Zim lifted a fist, “ZIM WILL GET YOU FOR YESTERDAY. I HAVE A SENSITIVE SKIN CONDITION YOU JERK! WATCH YOUR BACK, YOU MEWLING WORM!”

And then he spun on his heel, grunting a light, “Hi, Keef. Morning, Gaz,” as he marched inside the Skool, leaving Dib blinking as kids snickered and muttered how it would be amusing to see him get beat up.

After awhile, Gaz nudged her brother, “Hey, I won’t let him pummel you too badly. Remember, I already got dibs to destroy you.”

And she left without another word, leaving Dib feeling even more nervous as he slowly walked to class, Keef trying to cheer him up the way there.

The boy was unnerved though.  
That was, until he remembered he knew Zim’s weakness now.

~

Zim was honestly just trying to mess with Dib when he snapped at him. But the look on his face! Oh, that was great~!

Zim honestly just didn’t want to deal with the kid, so the hybrid figured that if he put the human on edge, Dib would back off for the time being. Especially when it started to rain soon after Skool started, meaning that Zim would also have to deal with more stupid rain and puddles and bleh.

He felt a shudder run down his spine, and subtly adjusted the rain coat he was wearing under the hologram.  
Shep was still working on something to be applied to his skin, so for the meantime, Zim was stuck wearing not only a physical disguise designed to be more water resistant, but he also had to wear a raincoat to cover his whole body under the holographic disguise.  
It seemed a tad overkill to Zim, but then again, the hybrid didn’t want a repeat of yesterday.

He grimaced as he unconsciously leaned forward in his seat, Zim’s bottom arms curling around his midsection as he began to push around his pencil with his exposed top arms. He could practically still feel the burning ache along his spooch area, the skin having actually shed off entirely during the healing process.  
Zim shuddered before mentally reminding himself that he just had to be collected and prepared.  
He was NOT going to make dumb mistakes like yesterday. He was smarter than the Urth-pigs, ZIM was the SUPERIOR Irken!

He wasn’t going to get beaten by some RAIN! Fuck it! Yeah!

~

It was at recess that Dib finally approached Zim, deciding that since the alien hadn’t acted on his threats yet at lunch, Dib might as well see how the alien was going to be like today.  
Zim was currently huddled up on a tree branch, chatting carelessly with a few other kids that decided to hang out with him. Though the other kids went quiet as Dib approached, Zim continuing to talk for a moment before realizing the conversation had gone dead.

Zim looked over and growled, “Ugh. Dib. What do you want? I’m not in the mood to kick your butt today, though Zim won’t hesitate to do so.”

Dib rolled his eyes with a haughty, “Whatever. You space lizard!”

Zim glanced over at one of the other kids before lazily asking, “Hey, Beth. Can you tell Dib-smelly to leave for me?”

The boy he pointed at gave him a look, “My name’s Carl. Beth’s a girl’s name!”

The alien squinted over before shrugging, “Eh? Uh, yes yes. Fine. Zim asks the Kurl to tell the Dib idiot to leave.”

The kid flicked back some strands of black hair from his face as he shot a glance up towards the other, “And why should I do what you say?”

Zim blinked before commenting, “Heh? Well why not?”

The kid shrugged. After a moment to think this over, he just said, “Fair point,” before he turned towards Dib and asked with a grunt, “Hey, Dib, you mind not being a creep for once and just, y’know, leaving us alone?”  
The two other kids present nodded along before Zim made a shooing motion in Dib’s direction.

Dib just narrowed his eyes, adjusting his glasses.  
Then he carefully turned his snarl into a sweetly smile, “Oh. Alright then. Though, I just wanted to make sure Zim and his... Mom... were still going to be coming over to my house. Since my Dad, invited them.”  
He bounced on the tips of his feet, pleasantly remarking to the Irken, “I mean, You could probably just walk home with me and Gaz today, since your mom might be a little late. With work.”

Zim opened his mouth to make a remark, but Dib cut him off, eyes widening as he cheekily asked, “Oh! Actually! What DOES your MOM do for work? Hmmm?”

The alien puffed up to quickly shoot down the question until the other kids began to peek up.

Carl looked up at Zim, leaning against the tree’s base, “Huh, what does your mom do? Mine’s a mechanic.”  
One of the other kid’s, a shorter girl with her dirty blond hair done in pigtails hummed, “Oh that’s cool. My dad’s a doctor.”

Zim froze before quickly stating, “SHE IS THE BEST SCIENTIST!” He pointed at Dib, “ALSO ZIM KNOWS FOR A FACT MY MOM IS BETTER THAN DIB’S!”

Dib raised an eyebrow before smugly saying, “She can’t be better than my mom if I don’t have one. I AM A CLONE, IDIOT!”

The other kids nodded, “He’s got a point.” “I mean, technically yeah.” “True. True.”

Zim jumped down from his perch and pointed a claw in Dib’s face, “WELL ZIM IS A BETTER CLONE! HA! LOSER!”

The boy merely raised a finger to argue back before he smiled sharply, realizing Zim was on the ground. Where all the puddles were. Oh hell yes.

Dib waved a hand dismissively, walking along, away from the tree, easing himself nearer to a large puddle. Then he looked over his shoulder and said sweetly, “Takes one to know one. Loser.”

Zim hissed, marching over quickly, “DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME DIB! ZIM WILL SHOW YOU WHO IS A LOSER WHEN I BEAT YOUR OVER-SIZED HEAD INTO THE DIRT!!”

Dib turned to smile in the alien’s face, easing himself to stand at Zim’s back, “Will you?”

Zim straightened up, swerving around to face Dib again, “Eh? I mean, yeah. That is what Zim just said? What we-“  
Dib smiled and shoved Zim into the puddle, and seeing as the alien had been completely oblivious to the trap he’d walked into, he just dumbly gazed at Dib as he went.

Dib wished he had a camera for this. God that was amazing! And then Zim fell in, sending up a splash to rival tsunamis before the alien began to screech and slip as he hurriedly tried to stand up.

The boy was laughing his ass off as Gaz slipped to his side, Keef watching this chaos go on from across the playground as he simply shook his head and continued to poke at worms with a stick. The redhead would let the two have their fun while he had his, Keef deciding to just let this run its course.

Dib snickered and nudged his sister, Gaz rolling her eyes before muttering, “Okay, that was pretty good.”

The boy swerved around beaming as Zim continued to shriek and screech as he dragged himself from the most of the puddle, flopping dramatically to the ground a few feet away.  
It was only when the alien was out of the way that Gaz shoved her brother in, laughing at the look of betrayal as he went down, getting soaked in muck.

Other kids watched this go down, some handing over money as bets were won and lost, others snickering at the idiots. And then a pause rose up as people began to notice something... peculiar... happening with Zim.

Zim had rolled over onto his side, cursing and growling, and not realizing that his appearance was glitching.  
His holoband not made for getting absolutely soaked with water.

And then the hologram went out, and Zim was revealed to everyone. Kids all around froze, eyes widening.

And Zim merely stood himself up oblivious, muttering in a language none of them recognized as he shook himself off, peeling off his rain coat using his lower set of completely exposed arms. His top pair of limbs quickly pulling out a rag from said coat, and using it to hurriedly wipe off his face and arms.  
Everyone just continued to watch, a few of them starting to whisper as a long, whipping tail could be seen swinging behind him.

And one girl was about to scream out as everything finally clicked in place, that is, until Dib turned to shout at Zim himself.

The boy froze, gaze locking onto Zim’s exposed form before harshly glancing around. And then Dib realized everyone else was staring at Zim.  
He began to smile before screaming out, “SEE! ZIM IS AN ALIEN! OMG EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU IDIOT!”  
Dib threw his head back and fist pumped into the air as he began to laugh with joy and excitement.

Zim merely turned towards Dib and hissed, exposing his sharp teeth and long, wormlike tongue, “What are you talking about, stink-face?”

But Dib merely howled with laughter, everyone still frozen as they tried to figure out what to do.  
I mean, yeah, they kinda knew Zim was weird from the get go, but this, ugh, it wasn’t like they were blind! But that would have to mean he was an actual alien! Everyone glanced among themselves as they silently pondered if they realllly wanted to admit that.  
A few glanced at Dib, watching him merely laugh his head off before all the kids collectively decided, beginning to whisper and talk among themselves, that they were going to ignore this development.

Gaz watched this go on for a bit, Dib just laughing while the alien glanced around in confusion before bluntly walking up to Zim and kicking his tail.

The alien swung towards her with a look, and as he glared at the girl, she just nudged his tail again.  
Zim then realized that Gaz should NOT be able to see that.

His own eyes shot towards his tail as well before Zim raised his eye ridges in realization, the hybrid beginning to panic as he began to mutter, “Oh. Oh fuck. Fuck. Thi-wha, I-“

Gaz merely patted him on the shoulder, “No one’s going to care you stupid bug.”

Zim merely gazed at her, flinching at the contact before giving a sharp, “Eh? What?”

With a sigh, the girl waved a hand before pointing at her brother, Dib now excitedly talking aloud to himself, before commenting lightly, “No ones going to say anything because Dib already did.”

The hybrid tilted his head at that, but as he gazed around, no one was actively doing anything about this, some kids actually going back to chatting or goofing around, ignoring him and Dib all together.

Zim glanced back at Dib, “But... but, even Zim wouldn’t be stupid enough... to ignore this? I mean, Zim is clearly not human?”  
He clicked his tongue, folding his bottom pair of arms as he gestured with a top limb, “I mean, skin conditions don’t explain extra limbs or a tail, unless they do?”

Gaz looked back at to her brother and frowned, “No, you’re right, they don’t. But... I’m pretty sure they also don’t want to give Dib the satisfaction of hearing them say he’s right.”

Zim felt his tail flick behind him as he looked back at the Dib-human, the boy doing a happy dance now, “Zim is... VERY confused.”

Gaz grunted, pulling Zim down to her level by his collar, snarling lowly, “No one is going to admit to believing him. Got it? They’re jackasses because Dib is an idiot. He hyper focuses on stuff, and he jumps to conclusions. So if they admit that for once when he jumped to a conclusion, he was right about it, then they’d have to rethink how they’ve treated him and rethink what he also might have been right about, understand now space-boy?”

Zim blinked before bluntly saying, “Shit.”

Gaz released him with a sigh, “Just go beat him up or something. Distract him from the fact that no ones calling the FBI or government to have you dragged away.”  
The hybrid gave her a look and she merely glared back, “He’s an idiot. He’s not going to accept that everyone doesn’t believe him this time. He’s desperate for something and he’ll make an even bigger scene.”

Zim bit his lip, lightly fiddling with his gloves before simply saying, “This... This is sad.”

The girl sighed deeply, crossing her arms, “Well I give you permission to at least shove him into another puddle. Or I can, I guess. Though I pretty much already had my revenge. You want to? I mean, he shoved you into one first.”

Zim shrugged, “Eh. Nah, I walked into that. Though I might, hm, might just leave. Uh. Bye. Though I guess I can just uh... shout something first?”  
He then cleared his throat, waving a fist, “CURSE YOU DIB! ZIM WILL GET YOU FOR THIS! YOU WIN THIS TIME! Zim will see you after the Skool!”

Then as Dib snapped out a response Zim didn’t really hear, he just, walked off.  
Passing by Keef as he walked towards the Skool fence, Zim commented to the redhead, “Hey, uh, bye, make sure Dib isn’t too stupid.”

Keef merely watched a worm squirm along the ground, the boy having been watching the thing do so for the entirety of the chaos. He merely hummed softly before poking at the thing, “Going home earlier? Okay then, Zim. Have a nice day.”

And Zim just shrugged and climbed over the chain link fence to walk home.  
Today was just getting too weird and confusing for his poor little hybrid brain to quite compute.

~

Gaz watched Zim jump the Skool fence before walking over to Dib, the boy beaming at her excitedly, “Did you see that? I got him! Where EVERYONE saw! It was great!”

She merely winced as she tucked a few loose strands of dark purple hair behind her ear, raising an eyebrow, “Oh, yeah.”

The boy nodded, running a hand through his dark hair, Dib not seeming to care that he was still absolutely soaked in mud water, “Yeah. Now I jus-“

He was cut off by the Skool bell, peering up before hurrying along. Dib was just so excited to finally prove to the world that he was right, he didn’t even see the rare expression of worry on Gaz’s face as he departed.

Gaz didn’t know how to really deal with this.

Her brother was an absolute moron, but he always cared too much.  
Biting her lip with an uncharacteristically nervous fidget to her stance, Gaz just hoped Dib wouldn’t get too badly hurt when he realized none of their peers really cared.  
What would happen now? The others were probably just going to try and forget they even saw Zim.

Continue like nothing happened. Act like Dib was just crazy. She frowned sharply at that.

Keef then wandered over with a worm in hand, snapping her out of her thoughts as he smiled at her, “Hey, Gaz. Check this sucker out. I named her Squiggle.”

The girl grunted as she glanced at the small, pink creature.  
Then she walked off, leaving the redhead to stand there oblivious to everything that had happened, the boy putting the worm down as he then hurried off to class himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOKAY SO NO ONE TOLD ME THIS CHAPTER HAD A HUGGGGE ERROR IN IT! Turns out that when originally released, I had accidentally copied and pasted a preexisting section of the chapter into the midst of another section, basically up rooting the flow of the storyline for a complete rewind! But I fixed it, so if you’re reading this for the first time, well it’s fixed now! If you’re re-reading this, I’m kinda embarrassed, but no one told me. Sooo pfffft.


	20. Time for Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim gets ready for tea, Shep talks to Professor Membrane, and Dib is definitely not sad that the alien shows more to her kid affection wise than his own father does to him.

Zim was pacing in the base, chewing at his lip as he fiddled with an antenna. How would he face Dib now?

Was his nemesis really just a sad cast out desperate for something to use to earn his place in the world? Was anything this boy had done just an act to try and prove himself?  
Because that was sad. And Zim felt guilty somehow. Why did he though? He could care less if the hooman died or whatever, but the thought that everything Dib had fought for... was essential worthless... well it made Zim uncomfortable.

Could he even get into a fight with the kid after that without pitying him? Should Zim just... destroy him? Get it over with?

The hybrid shuddered at that, no way was Zim going to do that anytime soon. The Gaz-sister scared the life out of him and she would most likely destroy him to the last cell if he tried that, his tail lashing sharply at the thought.

UGH! This was dumb. 

Zim groaned loudly as he drifted along to peer at himself in his room’s mirror, adjusting the tunic he was wearing to cover his bottom arms more efficiently, since his holoband was still down. UGH, he really DID NOT want to keep thinking about his nemesis.

So Zim decided to admire his own reflection.

He stuck his tongue out at himself and chuckled as he gently swished his skirt.  
Zim relaxing lightly as he distracted himself, turning his head so he could study the iridescent golden-blue coloration that had been slowly stretching from his back to a light dappling along his sides.  
With the incident with the water burning his skin, the new skin that had came back in its place had been a curious development.  
When before his skin had been a more notable mild green in coloration, it had developed a blue sheen to it now. And along with his back having brightened in coloration, the golden-blue color brightening into a vivid golden-yellow color along the very center of his back and along the ridge of his tail. Zim thought it was kinda cool looking, though admittedly it had incredibly peculiar to first see.

But that’s how it was. Zim hummed to himself as he titled his head to the other side, watching as the light shimmered along his skin, creating that flash of blue again. The hybrid chuckled at that before raising his ungloved claws towards the mirror as he made a face.

He giggled and turned to look at his claws, humming to himself as he focused on them, a light sparkle of blue electric charge running along them at Zim’s unspoken command. He hummed softly and turned away to finish getting dressed, putting his boots and gloves on as his pak brought out the wig and contacts.

Zim twirled infront of the mirror again with a smirk before nodding towards himself. Yeah, he was all good to go.  
His spooch tightened at that, the hybrid growling lightly as he remembered the Dib problem. Shaking his head, Zim let out a sigh, “Whatever. It will be FINE! Yes. Yeah.”

Then he straightened up, his exposed hands resting on his hips as he settled his tail to coil up underneath the skirt, huffing as he adjusted his wig ever so slightly.

Zim nodded to himself before marching to the elevator, heading back up to the top level. With a sigh, the hybrid walked into the living room to sit on the couch with GIR, the robot staring blankly at the show playing.

Zim hummed softly, “Eh, what you watching?”

The little robot merely shifted in his seat before replying simply, “Evil monkey.”

The hybrid nodded, “Cool.”

The SIR unit nodded back and the two watched the peculiar show until Shep came up and stated it was about time to head off.

~

Zim glanced back in the direction of the base as Shep and him neared the Membrane household, the hybrid not really wanting to deal with this.

He tapped a foot and huffed softly as Shep knocked on the door, pushing the doorbell once as well. The scientist muttering softly under her breath before shoving a smile onto her face as Professor Membrane opened the door and welcomed them in.

Zim was instantly gazing around, humming softly as Membrane began to chitter on about something, the hybrid barely caring to give the man the time of day. He did however, glance over into the living room at the sight of Gaz playing something on their TV.  
He glanced at Shep and whispered he was going to go see what the human girl was doing before heading off. Shep watched him a moment until Membrane said something that needed a response.

Zim leaned over the couch, tapping his gloved claws lightly as he chirped out, “What you doing?”

Gaz merely slammed her fingers down into the controller, her tongue sticking out as she concentrated, briefly gritting out, “Game. Ultimate Pig Warrior. Now shut up.”

Zim hummed, rolling his eyes before watching as the girl’s avatar brutally destroyed all that stood in her path. It was kinda amusing, and Zim had slowly crawled over the back of the couch to watch with intrigue and intent.

Then Dib marched down from upstairs, freezing before he dramatically swung a finger outwards. “ZIM!”

The hybrid merely raised a hand in greeting, watching as Gaz carved through several figures with splashes of red before going onward. Zim snickered, “Oh, the fool-dummies stood no chance!”

Gaz smirked, briefly glancing at him, “Well, duh.” Then she snarled, fingers fast as lightening as she took out the next batch of enemies, Zim snickering the whole time.

Dib pouted, “Hey! Zim!”

The hybrid groaned, “What?” He adjusted himself to be standing on the couch, peering back at Dib as he waited for the boy to continue.

The boy merely puffed out his chest, brushing his cowlick of hair back slightly as he jumped down the last few steps. He bounced on the tips of his feet as he merely purred out, “Remember how I exposed you infornt of the whole class?”  
Zim winced, but not for the reason Dib most likely took it for as the boy merely continued, “When do you think they’ll take you away? Huh? THINK YOUR SAFE?”

With a sigh, Zim slumped back to watch the TV, just as Gaz was fighting some peculiar monster or something.  
He grinned at the splatters of gore and destruction before calling over his shoulder to Dib, “Yeah right!”

Dib marched over, leaning over the back of the couch, snarling, “Well the government is bound to arrive soon! Then you’ll be gone!”  
The hybrid groaned just for Dib to growl out, “And then your weird dog thing will be taken away! And Shep wi-“

Zim swung around and bared his teeth, hissing in the human’s face as he felt his tail begin to lash, the fabric of his skirt swaying sharply with the appendage’s motion.  
Dib backed up and glared at him. After a moment of silence, Zim finally growled out, “Don’t talk about Shep-Mom like she’s a part of your game. And like anyone can control GIR! Much less contain him, Dib-shit! ZIM WILL KNOCK THE LIVING DAYLIGHT OUT OF YOU!”

The boy scurried out of the room towards the kitchen as Zim let out a low warning growl, the hybrid watching him through a narrowed gaze until he was out of sight. With a slow inhale, he eased himself back down, his tail curling around his ankle as Zim turned his attention back to Gaz’s game.

Then the purple-haired girl snorted, “Yeesh. And I thought I had anger issues.”

Zim stuck his tongue out at her, before crossing his arms. “Maybe the Dib should learn to hold his tongue then. Zim can easily carve it out of his mouth for that to be arranged afterall.” He smirked widely at that, “Yeah.”

Gaz grunted, pausing her game for a brief moment to send a gaze promising wrath. She growled softly, “One, that’s not how the saying works, idiot. Two, I’ll carve yours out if you even think about it again. If anyone’s going to do it, it’ll be me.”

The game started back up and Zim eased himself a few inches further away from the human girl, shuddering at the thought.  
Maybe a regular Irken could regrow their tongue if that happened, but would Zim be able to?  
Ugh, he shuddered and focused back on the game, deciding to just watch Gaz dismember others and be thankful it wasn’t him.

~

Shep was staring idly at the leaf-water presented to her as she chatted with the Professor, their conversation having started with a theory of his into a peculiar one of how both their children were clones (Well, at least Dib? She was still unsure about the Gaz.)

She didn’t even know humans had that technology!  
The Irken had thought the species too primitive, but seemingly, she was just to be continuously surprised time and time again by this planet and it’s inhabitants.

The Professor dropped a hand on his son’s shoulder, the boy having wandered in a few minutes ago, and proclaimed boldly, “Dib is actually the first successful clone I’ve made! Though, admittedly not perfect. There were a few issues in the process!”

The boy seemed uncomfortable at the statement, and Shep glanced at him with a sense of pity before glancing back at the scientist. She clicked her tongue and stated flatly, “Well, I mean, he’s fully functional though? Is he not? He seems a smart kid.”

Dib perked up slightly at that, eyes darting behind the glasses towards his father. But the Professor merely sighed, hand dropping to instead grab his cup of tea, “Ah yes! But the poor boy has a tendency to be insane.”

Shep narrowed her eyes at that, “Hm?”

The man swung a gloved hand, loudly saying, “Well of course! With his belief of Bigfeets! Lake monsters! Aliens! Y’know, the insane beliefs of a child! Ha!”

The boy seemed to puff up at that, but before he could snap out a response, as it seemed he was about to, Shep cut in. “Excuse me? So your son believes in such that hasn’t been specifically agreed upon by your scientific community? So you label him insane? Forgive me, but is that not an extreme label for a child? I mean, many people hold beliefs that there are things on the planet beyond what is proved.”

The Irken stirred the cup in her hands as the other answered, “Oh, well you see! Ha, it’s just ridiculous. And most people that believe that stuff are foolish and nuts. And for some reason, my son just can’t let it go, it’s sad to see potential wasted! I mean, what about yours?”

Shep gritted her teeth lightly, “Oh. Well then. Also, what about mine?”

The Professor waved a hand, Dib slowly standing up to wander off back towards the living room, though the man didn’t even seem to acknowledge his son’s disappearance, “Oh. Well!”  
He tapped a gloved hand to his chin, “You said you had cloned him. But there were clearly errors such as unusual skin coloration, lack of visible nose or ears, and the development of a sensitive skin condition! But I mean, not only are there those errors, but he also seems to have a tendency to scream a lot and talk about himself in the third person.”

Shep shrugged, narrowly staring at the man, “Well no one seems to mind. And so what? He’s energetic and prideful in himself. So what if he’s a tad peculiar? I mean most are not perfection. I think that he’s doing just fine.”

The Professor waved away the comment, “Yeah, but I mean, people like that often don’t make it well in this world! I mean, my poor insane son, look at him! He is continuous bothering others with ludicrous theories and claims. Why, once! He was assured that the mailman was a werewolf! Ha! Can you believe it?”  
He flung his hands about at that, pausing to look over Shep’s expression before clearing his throat.  
“Anyhow, it got to such a point that he would not leave me alone! So certain in his theories, took videos and photos of the man and would not let up! I eventually had to ship him off to a place for other poor insane boys like him. Dub did start quieting down after that, letting me do my important science work without so many interruptions! Yeah, quite a positive.”

Shep tilted her head sharply, her pak filtering through the man’s words as it worked out some of the more confusing bits. She then straightened sharply, “Wait, you sent Dib to an institute?! Why didn’t you just, I don’t know, take away his access to such technology? Hell, you’re his father, didn’t you try to, I don’t know, explain to him why what he was doing was wrong and technically illegal?”

The Professor sighed, sipping from his cup, “It’s not like he left me much choice! I am a very respectable scientist you know. I don’t have that kind of time.”

The Irken felt her antenna flick back harshly, “What? Don’t even have a good half an hour or so to get that through to him! He’s your son!”

“An insane one.”

Shep took a deep breath, “Uh. Excuse me, I, I will be right back.”

He perked up happily, “Oh okay! I can get you another cup of tea for when you get back!”

She gritted her teeth, “No thank you.” Then she abruptly stood up, walked into the living room to see her smeet and the Dib-smeet beating the living hell out of each other, before sighing.  
Then the Irken asked lightly to the other smeet in the room, “Where’s the ‘restroom’ in this place?”

The Gaz child merely pointed upstairs, “Up there, you’ll find it.” She went back to doing her thing and Shep went to find the bathroom, screeching the moment the door closed. 

What the hell? What kind of a scientist was this moron? One that could barely give time to a smeet??? Even her blood thirsty mess of a species gave more thought towards the smeets, which often times were barley more to them than a new expendable solider, than this man seemingly did!  
Weren’t humans supposed to nurture or some crap like that? Shep inhaled sharply remembering the comment he had even made about Zim.  
Well screw him! Humans shouldn’t even be capable of cloning, and him seeming to have the blunt confidence to flatly tell her how Zim was going to be ineffective in his life? Hell, HE HAD NO CLUE HOW SUPERIOR ZIM WAS TO HIS STUPID SPECIES! The nerve!  
And the comment about his son, his own smeet! With SAID CHILD RIGHT THERE? Shep knew she was defective in Irken standards as a result of getting too deeply invested towards things, but by humans standards, she was starting to wonder if she was more affectionate than the smartest human this species had! And what did that say? Son of gun, she was going to tear that man apart!

Shep snarled to herself in the mirror, “Ugh. No, can’t tear apart this idiot-fuck. Like it or not, you can not legally steal someone’s smeet for your own.”  
She began to pace, flinging her hands around with a growl. Shep tugged at an antenna, “This isn’t Irk where I can manipulate the system. I don’t understand the rules, so I don’t know how to pull the string.”

She ran a gloved hand down her face before sighing, briefly making sure her hologram was still sending out the right expression and motions (though she knew perfectly well it was functional and in peak condition), before marching back downstairs.

She gritted her teeth and after a brief glance in the living room (Zim and Dib were just laying on the floor winded, the two absently slapping at the other now), the Irken slipped back to the table.  
The Professor perked up, “So Shep, moving on, what are you working on currently?”

Shep sighed deeply, “Well you see-“

~

Zim grunted as Dib’s hand slapped at his face, using one of his own claws to slap back at the boy, Dib muttering a light “Ugh, rude” as a result.  
The hybrid sighed, lazily letting his tail flick about in the open, just to screw with Dib. Then he slowly asked, “Can you hear what your Dad is saying to my Shep?”

The boy rolled his eyes, sitting up to lean against the couch by Gaz’s legs, “I don’t want to. Either he’s going on about his ‘poor insane’ son or some new ‘world-changing’ invention of his.”

Zim hummed lightly, “He seems super boring. Does he even spar with you?”

Dib kicked the alien before replying with a shrug, ignoring the hiss Zim sent at him, “Well he is the world’s best scientist. Or whatever. Not like he has the time. Ever.”

The hybrid sat up as well, leaning back on the couch to Gaz’s other side, “Well, that’s dookie. Shep IS AN EVEN BETTER SCIENTIST! And she has plenty of time. Zim could go flop on her right now, and she’d merely snuggle me.”

Gaz snorted, “Well, our dad is not the touchy feely sort.”

Dib nodded with a hum before curiously asking, “Is that normal for Irkens to do? Take care of their kids?”

Zim grimaced, “Eh. Most Irken don’t have ‘kids.’ When Zim said he was the only one to have a parent, that was not just bragging. Zim is the only one to have a true parent. But aren’t HUMAN parents supposed to CARE for their offspring?”

The boy merely shrugged, “I dunno.”

Then the hybrid stood up, “Well, I am unsure about the way this conversation is going! I am going to lay on Shep.”

The boy merely watched him go before leaning his head back with a sigh.

~

Shep glanced over at Zim when he walked in, feeling a flood of relief. Maybe she could use her smeet to escape talking with this human now?

The Irken straightened up, pointing sharply at Zim, “Hey! Look! My sm-child! Yes! I think he has homework? We should probably go now!”

Zim blinked, “Eh?”  
But Shep merely stood up sharply, waving a goodbye to Professor Membrane and gritting out a mild, “Well I’m going to leave now.”

The man merely blinked at her, “Oh! Okay! Well, it was a pleasure to have some tea with you! Even if... you don’t drink any...” He raised a critical eyebrow at the other. “Do you not like tea or something?”

Shep inhaled sharply, “Eh, just, more of a er... I dunno... a chocolate milk fan? Okay, yes. Then bye!”

And before Zim could ask what was happening, the Irken was heading for the door, the hybrid watching before following after with a good natured shrug.

As he passed by the living room again, he called in, “Gaz! Destroy them all! Dib! I’ll see you Monday, idiot!”

He got a snicker and a shrill reply of, “NO! I’LL SEE YOU! At the AUTOPSY TABLE!”

Zim grunted before rolling his eyes, skipping to Shep’s side with a cheerful smile. She looked at him and gave a smile back as she gently patted his head. The hybrid hummed at the contact and the two went home.

~

Things really went wrong when they entered the house to a horror scene, pizza and cheese and barn yard animals everywhere.  
Zim glanced around slowly in disgust and a strange sense of dreadful awe while Shep gagged.

GIR trotted over to them and smiled widely, cheese coating the entirety of his mouth in a display that had Zim frozen on the spot.

Then Shep turned to him, “Agreed to never leave him alone again?”  
Zim merely nodded, carefully picking up GIR with a shudder as he turned towards the base’s cleaning supplies. The robot just cheerfully waving his suit’s paws around with a muffled yell as a goat screamed from somewhere.

Shep rubbed her hands down her face with a long and deep groan before throwing her hands up, “Whatever. I’m done! ZIM! YOU CLEAN THIS UP CAUSE ITS YOUR ROBOT! I’ll be in the lab...”

The Irken hurriedly made her way to the chute, and decided that she was truly surrounded by morons. 

But even within the depths of the base... she could still hear the goat. Somewhere, up there, screaming. The Irken shuddered.


	21. An Unexpected Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a slow day when someone new comes to hang out at the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About Monday or Tuesday, next chapter will come out and it will be another episode based one.

It was a slow Monday when Shep found herself sitting on the couch with GIR (the robot wearing his green dog suit despite Shep asking him to take it off so she could at least clean it some). She was currently waiting for the new supplies to arrive from the Resisty.  
The scientist sighed as she chewed absently on a sugar stick. As she glanced lazily at the clock she’d installed into the wall the other day, Zim came bursting into the base with a blooming black eye and slowly fading bruises littering his skin.

The Irken glanced at him curiously before the hybrid happily exclaimed, standing in front of the TV as he did so, to GIR’s dismay, “ZIM HAS HAD A SUCCESSFULLY DAY OF THE SKOOL THIS DAY!”

Shep blinked at him slowly before giving a thumbs up. GIR merely leaning to the side so he could better see his show, the false ears on the robot’s suit flopping to the side.

The hybrid seemed content to just stand there though for a few more moments, turning off his hologram disguise (which Shep had managed to finally fix that morning an hour or so prior to the start of Skool) before peeling off his wig and taking out his contacts.  
Shep just watched, having nothing better to do, before asking mildly as she let herself sink deeper in the couch, “Was that black eye from the Dib? Another fight, yes? Did you win?”

Zim nodded sharply, “It was gained from the Dib-beast in brutal combat! AND ZIM CAME OUT THE VICTOR!”

Shep smiled softly, chewing on the sugar stick again, “Lovely, sweetie.”

The hybrid beamed at the praise, antenna perked up and tail wagging as he crawled onto the couch and snuggled into her side.

GIR snapped his head over with a squeal. Happily he asked “WE HUGGING?” before crawling over as well, leaning into Zim while Shep just stroked Zim’s antenna with a claw.

Zim purred softly and closed his eyes as Shep watched in amusement as the hybrid and robot slowly curled up on her like two Earth cats.  
She looked back at the TV and kept chewing on her sugar stick, nodding mildly to herself.

This was so worth everything she’d done. Everything she’d defied, every rule broken, all of it. Hell, if that worm hadn’t gotten her, Shep would go all the way back to the Irken empire to kill Tallest Miyuki if it meant things could stay like this.

She nodded tiredly, closing her own eyes though she did not need sleep, but damn, if this wasn’t comfortable. Zim and GIR acting like a weighted blanket, allowing Shep to let her eyelids finally drop as she fell into a gentle daze.

~

It was only at the ring of the doorbell did the two Irken jerk awake, Zim groggily rubbing at an eye as Shep blinked sharply as she shoved GIR off of herself, nearly choking on the remainder of the sugar stick as she jerked up. As the robot went tumbling to the ground, he then jumped up and screamed, “IS IT MARY?” as he pointed a green paw at the door.

Shep spat the sugar stick out and merely coughed a few times into her fist, gagging before blinking tiredly at the door.

Zim barely minded though, merely stretched lazily before curling back up on the couch as Shep sighed, clicking on her holoband.  
The robot began excitedly running around her as he screeched this and that, the scientist absently rolling her eyes, “It’s most like just supplies from the Resisty. Now shut up before I dismantle your voice box.”

The robot ignored her, spinning on the floor as he screeched something about pasta (?). Shep sighed and opened the door, expecting to just see a box sitting there for her, if not for the odd addition of a seeming human child with dark blue hair, a peculiar choice in gothic looking clothing, and a face done up with dark eyeshadow and light makeup.

The Irken merely blinked blankly at the child, “Who the fuck are you?”

The girl in question flipped back her short, blue hair with an offended scoff. Then with a cheeky sneer, the girl gave a sarcastic, “Oh, come on. It’s only been a few of these Urth days since we last spoke, Shep.”

The scientist just blinked slowly, “You’ll have to forgive me. I’m tired as fuck right now.”

She got a long look in reply before the girl sighed. Then the girl spoke again in that nasally voice of hers, “Ugh. It’s me. Tak?”

The Irken blinked before things clicked. Shep nodded sharply with a growing excitement, snapping her fingers as she brightened, “OH! TAK! Great to see you, come on in!”

The ‘kid’ gave her a smile as she entered the base with a chuckle, switching off from English to Irken as she did, “Does the disguise make me look that different? Also I brought my SIR unit, MiMi.”

A sleek black cat with vivid red eyes crept in after the disguised Irken as Shep grabbed the package and re-entered the base with a snicker. “Well the disguise certainly did throw me there. But what are you doing here?”  
She waved a gloved hand as she clicked off her disguise after locking the door, “Not that I wish you weren’t here, it is just unexpected.”

Tak switched off her hologram as well, smirking at the other as her curled antenna eased back, “Not like I have better things to do. And I was dying to finally meet the other rogue Irkens~”  
She then tilted her head slightly, pointing over at the couch, “I assume that’s Zim?” she clicked her tongue with an amused smile.

Shep merely chuckled, meeting the other’s purple gaze, “Yeah. Hey, Zim! Meet Tak.”

Zim lazily opened an eye, tail flicking lightly, “Hi. You’re that informant Lard Nar was going on about, aren’t you?”

Tak eased herself onto the couch, crossing her arms behind her head, “Yup. And you’re the hybrid that apparently killed Almighty Tallest Spork?”

Zim felt his tail lash sharply before he nodded lightly, “Zim did.”

Shep picked up GIR by his antenna as she nearly tripped on the robot, tossing him into the kitchen before she came over to sit down herself. Tak nudged Shep lightly in the side and the scientist casted the other a look.

Tak then smirked, “You want to know something fun?”

Zim lazily flopped into his side as he stared up at the Irken while Shep merely shrugged.

The informant gave them an eased smile, “You two are the reason I defected.”

The scientist perked an antenna as Zim tilted his head curiously, MiMi slowly easing herself on the back of the couch to sit above her master, still appearing like a cat.

Tak hummed, lazily twirling an antenna, “Yeah. I was training to be an Elite, but... because of the chaos you two brought with y’know. Killing Spork. Well, my test for the position was cancelled.”

Zim perked his antenna curiously as Shep tilted her head attentive as Tak continued with a wave of a hand. “But you know, originally I didn’t even know an Irken had done the deed. So I was just pissed off that after all that time, the empire would just... ignore my work.”

Shep gave a hiss, “With or without cause or reason, the empire tends to do that.”

Tak gave her a nod, “Honestly. The same thing happened about 7 years ago... what, like some 70 years ago in Urth time? There was an issue with the power grid after a malfunctioning mech went off and I had my test cancelled when there was a mass blackout. And, I was just, you know, pissed. Because I was finally able to take the test again, and just like that, cancelled again.” The Irken glared off with a hiss just remembering it. “So I said I’m done. And, I mean, I had tried everything, worked off my antenna just to get a plea infront of the Control Brains even. But then they just dumped me on the same waste of a planet!”

Shep snorted, resting her face on one of her hands, “Sounds about right, so what did you do?”

Tak smirked over at her, “I said, well if the empire doesn’t want me, and wants to stick me there for years to come, just to prove myself, when I had already done so, well I’ll just tear them down! Why waste my skill and talents?”

Zim grinned sharply, intrigued, “Then what?”

The informant seemed to practically bathe in the fact that the two were so invested in her tale, dramatically saying, “Well. This planet I was dumped on, planet Dirt, it’s a dump. But you know what’s good about a dump?”

Shep tapped a claw against her chin as GIR crept back into the room to watch the TV again, “Bunch of stuff gets dumped there?”

Zim propped himself up on his elbows as Tak nodded, “Yeah. So, I did what any Invader is taught to do. Adapt and overcome. I built my own ship and even MiMi with what I found there.”

Now the scientist was really intrigued, Shep gazing over at MiMi, “Really? That’s quite impressive.”

The hybrid then loudly exclaimed, “Zim built his own minion as well!” He pointed over at GIR as he excitedly glanced back at Tak.

The Irken clicked her tongue, scratching at her chest, before merely giving a simple response of, “Nice job.”

Zim beamed at the praise before he asked curiously, “So then what did you do after building your ship? Just... leave?”

Tak gave him a sharp grin, boastfully saying with a mischievous glint in her eye, “Now that’s just dull.” She glanced over at Shep with that smile still painted across her face, teeth bared, “What I did was more fun.”

The scientist titled her head, admittedly quite invested now, “And what’s that?”

Tak sneered, “I attacked the Massive.”

The other two shot up with equal gasps of shock and bafflement before Shep sharply asked, “Really?! How’d that go?” the same time Zim exclaimed, “Fuck yeah!”

Tak waved a hand with a snicker, “I mean, I almost died as a result, but I got so close to the ship, that I could see the Tallests’ face when they realized it was one of their own kind that was shooting at them.”

Shep stood up with a chuckle, “Oh that’s just priceless.”

Zim snickered as he sat up and gazed intently at Tak, “Describe it!”

Tak smirked at him and obliged while Shep wandered off to the kitchen to grab some snacks. When she returned, Tak was standing on top of the couch, waving her arms around as she talked about some of her adventures in space from before and after fleeing the empire. Zim was absolutely ecstatic, antenna pricked attentively as he practically gushed at the different stories.

Shep merely watched them as she opened a chip bag, giving Tak a perked antenna and raised eye ridge as she eased back on the couch.  
The informant merely smirked back at her, cheerfully turning back to Zim to loudly tell him about space-traveling creatures she’d seen floating across the sky once.

The scientist merely tsked with a soft smile, letting them have their fun.


	22. Zim, Paranormal Investigator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GIR eats horrid amounts of cheese, Shep reflects on Irken society, and Zim is having a bad time. Part one of this series adaption of Career Day.

Zim really didn’t want to go to Skool today. Other times he could care less, especially after the whole incident on that Friday a couple weeks ago, proving that no one actually cared, but still. Zim didn’t want to go today, and not just because his skin was feeling weird and itchy, but also because he just wanted to hang out with Tak.

The informant had been staying over for a little over a week now, and she was so much fun. The informant having a number of intriguing stories and teaching him a number of neat tricks such as how to immobilize an enemy with a spoon the other day.

But in a few days, Tak would be returning to the Resisty’s base of operation. And Zim didn’t want to waste his time with sitting around in some desk listening to some human babble or Miss Bitters hiss and growl about the end of the universe.  
But he had to, because he was already in this deep enough, and if anything peculiar happened, Dib would be on high alert.

Then he probably try to sneak into the base again. AND THAT WAS ANNOYING. Especially when the boy had figured out last Tuesday that he could actually fit into the ventilation system. AND THEN ZIM HAD TO CRAWL IN TO GET THAT IDIOT.

That boy was honestly so annoying and sad and stupid. 

Zim huffed and flopped back on the couch, groaning. He slumped against the couch and complained loudly to no one in particular, though GIR gave him his attention nevertheless, “Skool is the most AWFUL and horrid thing this planet has developed beside THE LITERAL ACID water. AND DIB IS A DOOKIE HEAD.”

GIR hummed beside the hybrid, stuffing his face full of nacho cheese as he did so, making a gurgling sound as a result.  
Zim glanced over slowly at the sound to watch the robot do so in annoyance before it turned to disgust, “Where do you keep getting that stuff?”

The robot shrugged, blankly staring at the black TV screen before saying, cheese drizzling from his mouth, “I don’t... know. YOU WAnT sOmE!?”

GIR happily shoved the cheese into the hybrid’s face with a squeak, stretching a clawed hand towards Zim, who merely harshly shoved the offending hand away from his face with a gag.  
Then Zim got up and shuddered, “GIR, you are one of THE MOST DISGUSTING creatures Zim HAS EVER MET!”

The robot beamed, those vivid teal brightening as he gushed, “AWWW, thank YOU!”

Zim growled, tail lashing behind him, “That’s not a compliment.”

GIR shrugged before going back to shoving ungodly amounts of cheese into his open maw, the hybrid finding to his horror that he just... couldn’t look away. He absently scratched at his neck as the SIR unit shoved some nachos in there as well, cheese spilling out.

Zim just shuddered. HOW DID GIR FIT THAT MUCH CHEESE IN THERE? WHERE WAS IT GOING!? WHY!?

~

Down in the labs, Tak was lounging around in Shep’s chair as the scientist worked on one of her newest prototypes, a machine that utilized whatever material was put into it to create energy. 

And Shep didn’t mind in the least, having noted the informant had a brilliant range in her own technological genius that allowed for the Irken’s inputs here and there to be quite beneficial.  
The scientist hovered over her machinery a moment before slowly wielding the metal panels back into place, her googles replaced by a face shield for the moment as sparks of vibrant blues and green jumped off it.

When she was done with that, she briefly checked the earth clock she had installed down there, exhaling with a smile as she wiped her brow.  
She still had about a good 30-25 minutes till Zim was off for Skool. So as she looked away from her machine for the time being, she glanced at Tak to see the Irken had realized the chair could spin.  
It was amusing how much of a smile such a hardened warrior could make from such a simple discovery, but Shep couldn’t help but smile either.

Tak reminded Shep of Zim in a number of her mannerisms. Very bold, surprisingly clever, lived for attention, etc. But the Irken also reacted very positively to shows of approval, affection, and being allowed to do as pleased like Zim as well.

It made Shep kind of curious, seeing Zim was mostly Irken, was this pattern of shared behavior something biologically hardwired into Irkens or was it just coincidence?  
Because now that she thought about it, many Irkens were similar in that regard.  
Very bold and surprisingly adaptable creatures (despite the many weakness and faults they had), as well as a race that seemed to crave approval and a sense of worth. Afterall, Shep had known several scientist that had tried to undermine her own projects or even sabotage her in order to get a higher rank or just to even be noticed by the Tallest. It was a pathetic tactic that she’d made sure would end in deadly consequences. 

But either way, this was curious.  
But Shep was unsure. 

She herself had never really craved much from others, though she enjoyed attention given to her skill and discoveries, though that may have been a by-product of desiring a higher ranking so she could continue to do whatever experiments and projects she wanted. But that was the thing as well, she already knew she was the best of the best, her skills and abilities quite varied as she tested out even the most peculiar methods for a solution, so there was no sense that she needed to prove herself. Though Shep knew she had a history of fearing failure as a result of this sense of importance.  
Though... then again, she never really did get the whole praise thing, seeing the system of Irken society as an annoyance and hinderance. But then why did she also find that a part of her wanted that acknowledgment, to have others see her for more? It was a peculiar thing.

Then there was the whole height thing, it never quite made sense why one would be assumed better if they had a few inches over her, it was utterly illogical. And if Shep was being honest, it just made Irkens easier to kill. Bigger target after all, and if you have everything focused on one individual, well logically all one would need to do would be to take out said individual.  
Then the empire would be in chaos (even if technically speaking the Control Brains were the true masterminds behind the empire), until a new Tallest could be selected, which depended on whether or not a successor was in place, how sudden the death was, etc.

Though the scientist wouldn’t lie and say Miyuki hadn’t done nothing in her time of power. Having jumped Irkens into a new golden age, but still. 

Shep sighed and placed her mask down before watching the younger Irken. Tak’s antenna pricked as her smile grew more and more as she realized she could just keep on spinning without restriction, using a foot to push herself around faster and faster. The way those purple eyes lit up as no one ordered her off to something else, it was adorable, and Shep merely watched with a smile.  
And sure, Shep herself was probably only at the least a good 40 or so years older than the other, but she couldn’t help but feel the desire to care for this Irken as she had for her own smeet. Though where this desire came from, Shep did not know. 

Though her attention was taken away from her thoughts again as she heard Tak yelp, the Irken seemingly realizing she had built too much momentum now, the Irken shooting Shep a now wide eyed silent plea. And the scientist merely rolled her eyes with a chuckle.

The scientist walked over and merely placed a gloved hand on the thing, careful to be ready for the backlash as the thing tried to snap forward again before jerking back and then swinging lightly forward again. Tak let out another yelp, nearly falling on her face before giving an unsteady tuck and roll, popping back up with her skin a tad paler than it had been.  
She snapped her gaze back over and pointed at the chair wordlessly for a moment as she laughed breathlessly, then Tak just said, “THAT. I like THAT.”

Shep smiled, her antenna easing back, “I could tell.” 

Tak huffed a laugh, following after Shep as the other began to walk along towards the elevator, the informant practical alight.  
“I know chairs can be fitted so it has some movement BUT THAT! IT KEPT ON GOING! How fast CAN it go?!”

Shep tapped a claw to her face as they went upwards, tilting her head at the mental calculations she ran through her pak. All she could give was a shrug, “Haven’t tried spinning it that fast actually.”

The informant nudged her sharply, teeth still bared in that manic grin, “You should!”

The scientist merely rolled her eyes with a click of her tongue, “That’s more of Zim’s thing. Ask him about it. But for your information, the chair is like that so it’s easier to move between tasks.”

“Kill joy.”

Shep snorted, looking up as the floor opened up above them, the two Irken set down in the kitchen. The scientist wandered over towards the living room to find Zim scratching at his neck with a foot while GIR shoved cheese into his mouth.

Oh for Irk’s sake! What the hell WAS WRONG WITH THAT ROBOT!

She growled lowly at the robot, who merely smiled at her, before saying to Zim, “Where does he keep getting the cheese?”

The other shrugged, grunting, “No clue, also, ZIM’S SKIN ITCHES.”

Tak slumped down on the couch, MiMi appearing from nowhere to curl up next to her. “Well I’d assume so, since this would be your first time off planet during the galatic equinox.”

Zim frowned at that, “What?”

Shep felt her antenna fly upwards, “Oh, shit, that’s today, isn’t it?”

The informant nodded while Zim gave them a confused look, Shep waving a hand before commenting, “Every so often, the planets in galaxies align perfectly, a rare occurrence in itself, the event known as the galactic equinox. The issue with this is that it results in a phenomenon known as ‘the Molt’.” Zim tilted his head curiously as Shep paused to scratch at an antenna. “And essentially all off-planet aliens that are present in a galaxy that is experiencing this occurrence... hm... how would explain it, Tak?”

Said Irken merely further leaned back against the couch before musing, “Explode into a giant, monstrous blob of pus and flesh?”

Shep grimaced. “I guess that works.”

Tak shot her finger guns with a click of her tongue, glancing over at Zim. “It only lasts like a few seconds though, and will happen at 5:00 in the afternoon. So there’s plenty of time to prepare for it.” She paused to scratch at her face with a hum. Then Tak commented, “I’ve heard that it actually makes your skin super smooth afterwards. Though then again, it is said to be extremely painful.”

Shep piped up, “Oh, it is extremely painful.”  
Tak shot the scientist a curious look before glancing back to Zim.

The hybrid gave the two a look of horror before softly saying, “What the fuck?”

Shep shrugged, rubbing her face, “Its just another something you just got to deal with. Sometimes a planet rains acid, other times you turn into a giant, monstrous blob.”

Zim sank into the couch, “But Zim doesn’t WANT to be a blob!”

Tak used a boot to shove GIR off the couch as she stretched out, “It’s just like that. And you’ll be back at the base before then.”

The hybrid pouted at Shep. “But there’s that stupid ‘Career Day.’” He glanced over at Tak now, frown deepening. “It’s supposed to last until 5!”

The informant tilted her head as Shep grunted, “Do you think you can get away with missing it?”

Zim groaned, scratching at his neck again, with a frustrated hiss“No, Zim can not!”

Tak sighed, “Well you better be ready to slip away when the time comes.”

Zim grimaced, “Shit.”

~

Zim was fidgeting in class as Miss Bitters bitterly rambled, “And remember, no matter what dreams you may have, they will always, ALWAYS, be crushed and destroyed. Because the universe doesn’t care about you, much like how your parents will never be truly proud of you.”

That caught the hybrid’s attention as he haughtily replied, pointing a finger at the thing that was his teacher, “SHEP-MOM THINKS I’M GREAT!”

Miss Bitters turned towards him slowly with a hiss, Zim nervously leaning away before she snapped her gaze back towards the class. “Either way, as you all know, it is Career Day, so you will be partnered with an adult to learn about different careers.”

The hybrid merely rolled his eyes, lightly scratching at his neck again, though the developing rash on his neck was at least hidden by the hologram.

Then one girl straightened up excitedly, “I want to be a vet!”  
Another boy beamed, “I’ll be an astronaut!”  
Zim merely leaned his head on a fist, listening absently listening to the increased the chatter.

Yet as the class really started to buzz excitedly, Miss Bitters narrowed her eyes and growled, “It doesn’t matter what you want.”

The class went quiet at that remark, the teacher growling as she began to hand out papers, “Just answer these questions and we can move on with this horrid day.”

Zim snorted as he looked at the peculiar mass of ink blobs before rolling his eyes and filling it out, the class doing likewise until they all had finished.  
And just like that, Miss Bitters snatched back the papers before throwing them into a rustic machine, which spat out slips of paper which were handed out.

Several people let out cries of annoyance and agitation as they didn’t get what they’d wanted as Zim heard Dib whine about having gotten stuck with food service.

The hybrid laughed resulting in a glare to be sent his way as he turned to see what he got. Zim’s spooch churned nervously as he reread the words before loudly snarling, “Oh for fuck’s sake! PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR?”

Dib’s head snapped over sharply, “What!”

Zim leaned against his desk to flap the paper in Dib’s direction before Miss Bitters snapped out loudly, “Go find your partnered adults NOW.”

As he scratched sharply at the rash along his neck, the hybrid dragged himself to his feet towards the door, Dib running up behind him as he snagged the paper from the alien to look it over himself. Zim merely watched the boy before quietly asking, “Want to trade?”

Dib’s head shot up, quickly adjusting his glasses as he opened his mouth to answer, passing the paper back to Zim, “Wait really?”

Zim shrugged, “Why not?”

As Dib was excitedly handing his sheet of paper over, a man standing in the shadows outside in the hallway called out, “Hey, green kid, you the one that got the Paranormal Investigator?”

The hybrid merely sneered, “Oh, well you see, Zim-“

The man threw up a hand, dramatically cutting him off, “Say no more! Come with me and prepare to open your mind to the weird and supernatural!”

Zim practically gagged, turning to Dib, only to see the boy being lead away by a zit-faced human that looked like he was barely out of high school. Dib merely glanced back at Zim with a sorrowful gaze to which the alien merely shrugged in response.

Then with a growl, the hybrid gazed back to this paranormal investigator idiot, “Let’s just get this over with as quickly as possible.”

The man smirked down at Zim, “A really go get them attitude, huh? I’m Bill by the way, now what will my partner for the day be called?”

“Zim.”

The man smirked, and Zim got the feeling that he’d have to hold back from punching that smug face several times in the following hours. Loudly the man then proclaimed, “WELL ZIM! Let’s be on our way!”

Zim rubbed a hand down his face, deciding today was going to suck, before following after with a low snarl.


	23. Zim Likes Cows More Than People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim is having a bad time, Dib is having a good time, stuff happens

When he exited the building with the stupid ass man, Zim just hoped the human would have a somewhat decent vehicle. And to his surprise, and delight, it was a sleek black car that even seemed to be self-piloting.

He gave a deep sigh, which Bill seemed to take as an excited gasp as he looked over those stupid sunglasses of his and smirked, “Let’s ride.”

Zim grimaced, pushing back a growl, before climbing into the passenger’s seat.  
And just like that, they were off, speeding along at a speed that the hybrid wasn’t actually sure was legal on this planet’s roadways.

~

Dib felt like E.T. as he sat awkwardly in the MacMeatier’s employee’s bike basket. The guy, Simon, saying that his parents were making him save up for his own car.  
Which sounded like it sucked, but then again, Dib never really had a problem with money. His dad’s reputation and impact making sure he had all the money he needed, and sometimes when the Professor wanted Dib to leave him alone, he’d sometimes just toss money at Dib and tell him to go out and do ‘ _normal_ ’ childish activities.

Of course, the money instead went to his paranormal hunting and investigations, but it wasn’t like his father was readily invested in what his children were doing unless it was ‘ _real_ ’ science, so whatever.

So Dib merely nodded with false understanding as Simon chained up his bike and led the boy inside the MacMeaties.

Dib briefly glanced up at the sign, rolling his eyes at how it supposedly claimed to serve over 8 billion people worldwide. “That’s not even possible,” he muttered lowly as he walked through the door, being lead to the counter. 

Simon stared down at him for a moment before saying, “W-well, now we’ll be going behind the, uh, the counter. You’ll need a uniform.”

Dib was handed a cheap server's uniform and after a moment of the boy just glaring up at the older teen, Simon awkwardly said, “Yeah. So if you’ll just, uh, put that on. And then come back... er, and we can uh, start with the fries.”

The boy huffed bitterly before growling out a brief “Fine, whatever” as he walked towards the bathroom to get changed.

It was itchy and a size too big, but Dib was shoved along to help Simon with the fryer, the boy wondering how safe this was as Simon made an off handed comment about how the grease was kinda hot and to be extremely careful. Dib merely took a deep breath and started to season some of the newer fries.

Ugh. How long was he stuck doing this again? What Dib wouldn’t give to be hunting the supernatural with that Paranormal Investigator!

~

What Zim wouldn’t give to be a food drone right now.

Bill’s car speeding along a long, winding road, jerking here and there as it seemed to run over the carcasses of dead farm animals, at least Zim hoped they were dead. It was kind of disturbing how many animals they ran over actually on their way to a farm with supposed crop circles or something.  
Honestly, Zim found that unlikely, but he couldn’t give it much thought as he could practically feel his antenna being talked off with how many conspiracy theories this man had.

Like come on, Zim was quite certain birds WERE NOT be controlled by the US government or something. That would be such a waste of resources? Bill was truly dumber and smellier than Dib, and it was just _sad_.

The hybrid sighed picking up and glancing at some the stupid case files on the car floor out of pure boredom. He could not roll his eyes any farther than he wished as he soon figured out this man thought dinosaurs were fake but chocolate vampires were real.   
Dib would have a stroke reading through these!

Zim sighed wishing he’d traded quicker with the boy before Bill cut through his thoughts with that snide, over confident act of his. “Oh, reading on Count Cocoafang, eh? Yeah. I’ve been hunting him for _years_.”

“Years? Don’t dirt-pig adults like yourselves have _anything_ better to do?”

Bill smirked, Zim feeling his tail harshly slap against his leg, before the man said, “You poor, simple child. This is all for the _GREATER_ GOOD!”

Zim growled, “ZIM IS **_NOT_** A POOR AND SIMPLE _WORM-BABY_!” He then tilted his head, skeptical, “But how is claiming dinosaurs to be fake for this supposed great of good? Dinosaurs were in fact an actual thing. Shep cloned one the other day.”

But the investigator merely scoffed, “Thats just what _**they**_ want you to think!”

The hybrid furrowed his brow as he glanced at the dinosaur case file. “You’re an absolutely moron,” he simply said after a brief pause.

Bill merely ignored him, now ranting about the true threat that Count Cocoafang was to humanity. Zim burrowed his face into his claws and screeched into them.

~  
  
Zim was going to kill this man for wasting his time. Like this man, **_this man,_** was by far, the dumbest and most irrational creature he had ever encountered.

EVEN _**GIR**_ HAD MORE _SENSE_ THAN THIS HUMAN! AND GIR WAS _LITERALLY_ THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING ZIM HAD EVER _**ENCOUNTERED**_! _BUT THIS MAN!_ THIS STUPID MAN HAD NO BRAIN CELLS IT SEEMED! NOT EVEN A _HALF_ OF ONE!

He’d been dragged to a farm, in the middle of fucking no where, having to listen to this jerk babble, and all that was here WAS A COW ROLLING IN CORN!

Though as Zim watched the spotted bovine roll around, at least there was some comfort. He liked this earth beast the most. Ever so slightly, he relaxed, ignoring Bill as the man gritted his teeth and dramatically stated how the cow was probably mind controlled by aliens or something.

Which was even stupider. But at least Zim saw a cow today, GIR having released his own cloned cow when the robot had dragged all those other barn animals into the base a while back. Unfortunately, because of all the chaos, his cow had escaped into the city. 

And he hadn’t seen the thing again. Zim really missed that cow.

Bill clamped a hand down on his shoulder, causing Zim to instantly snap out of his thinking to instead jerk away from the man’s grasp. He hissed sharply but the investigator ignored him as Bill merely mused, “I wonder if Cocoafang had anything to do with this?”

Zim stared at the man for a long time in disgust. He then rolled his eyes, briefly checking the time to see that it was about 4:27. As long as this idiot was here, Zim could probably slip away pretty easily.

Not like the man would notice. The idiot.

~

Dib was slowly getting used to this job, easing a cup under the meat dispenser, though he couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out why someone would drink this crud.

It was just liquid raw meat. And not only was that just _disgusting_ , but also pretty unhealthy. But hey, Dib wasn’t going to complain, he just had to deal with this a little longer. 

The man that had ordered the thing for his daughter, the girl screeching ‘I **NEED** MEAT!’ started to make a fuss of hurrying it up. And with a low sigh, the boy slide the thing over as the man grumbled annoyed.

Dib merely continued along with what he was doing with a huff, accepting the man’s money before looking to the next customer.  
  
He briefly wondered what Zim was doing before reminding himself that since the alien had been partnered with a paranormal investigator, Zim couldn’t really do anything too evil.   
Huh, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. He got some nice tips for some extra pocket money, got some working experience, AND he didn’t have to bother with keeping Zim in check!   
  
And sure, people were assholes, but he’d dealt with jerks his whole life!   
  
At least this time he was getting some money in return for this.

Dib decided that this was actually pretty great!

~

This was HORRIBLE.

ZIM WAS _**DOOMED**_.

Not only had they left the farm with only 15 minutes left until the Molt, but now they were HEADING INTO THE CITY.

And all because Bill had heard that some fucking chocolate mascot was there. Zim could practically feel his skin burning and bubbling up with the growing rash, Zim pleading that the man pull over because Zim was not feeling good.

Yet the paranormal investigator merely ignored him, eyes narrowed in concentration as he speed them along.   
Zim kept checking the time, heart racing as his spooch churned nervously.

Skool children may not care about seeing him exposed, and this paranormal investigator had no brain, but if he turned into a GIANT BLOB in front of hundreds of people, they’d MOST DEFINITELY have him sent away.

This was like Irk all over again. He could feel a growing pressure in his head, eyes shot wide open as his breathing became nearly frantic, yet that damned man just kept driving.

Not caring one bit about Zim nearly having a heart attack, Bill hyper focused on his previewed mission to stop Count Cocoafang. Then it happened, the hybrid was peering out the window, getting himself ready to jump out the car if he had to as the minutes ticked down, before Bill yelled, “THERE HE IS!”

Zim blinked away tears, gazing at the man dressed as a vampire before the man pulled over, Bill himself storming over with a stake in hand.

But the hybrid would leave the false blood-sucker to fend for himself, only two minutes until the equinox as he rushed over to the nearby MacMeaties. Maybe if he jumped into one of the dumpsters?

Zim wiped at his face harshly and gazed about, wincing as he saw he had just a minute left. Then he heard shouting coming from the next store Buns Market.

There was no doubt in Zim’s mind that it was that idiot chasing around the Count Cocoafang, and hopefully, it would provide the perfect distraction as he scrambled up and over into one of the dumpsters.

The hybrid gagged at the smell before feeling a shudder across his skin, Zim switching his holoband off to see if the rash had gone. And it had, he smiled, kinda relived, thinking that was all that was going to happen before the burning came.  
His skin felt like it had been lit on fire, then scrapped off before having water drenched all over. Zim opened his mouth in a gasp of pain before everything seemed to swim, becoming painfully aware of every pulse of his heart, every sensation of contact between himself and the world around him, as the world screamed into a roar of static. He gagged and his vision was filled with black as he felt he was being torn apart, the pain almost numbing with the intensity as it peaked.

Then, as quickly as it had come, Zim was jerked back to himself, staggering as he did so, blinking wide eyed. Well that was awful and terrible. Green mucus absolutely covered the remains of the dumpster as anything not settled solidly in place within the alleyway had been tossed and shoved around. 

But it seemed the Molt was over.

With a shuddering breath, Zim checked his skin to see if it was really smooth now. Because maybe in all this day’s awfulness, maybe Zim would have this nice thing. Yet, instead of his normal, mono-colored green, he was met with an odd arrangement of blue spotting along his skin, golden flecks of color mixed within it. He turned sharply and flicked his tail into view, wondering if the Molt had caused his skin to change again.

And as he had mildly hoped wouldn’t be the case, Zim glanced over the blue spotting that now stretched along his tail as well. Well SHIT. 

Zim glanced around sharply, quickly switching his holoband back on before carefully creeping into the MacMeaties through one of the back doors.   
And surprisingly, he was met with a confused Dib.

The boy raised an eyebrow before commenting lightly, “Zim, what are you doing here?”

The hybrid merely gave him a look, absolutely done with today, “You got the lucky job.”

”What?”

Zim patted the boy on the shoulder before gritting out through bared teeth, “I almost killed a man today.”

Dib looked at the alien, even more confused as he sharply repeated himself, “ _What_!?”

The alien merely raised his other hand to clasp Dib’s other shoulder, the alien’s eyes wild as he said lowly, “He didn’t even believe in dinosaurs, Dib. He was dumber than you were. I was this _close_ to strangling him. _**THIS CLOSE, DIB**_.”

The boy slowly peeled the gloved claws off himself, gently patting the alien on the shoulder before grimacing. He retracted his hand and looked at the odd, green goo before looking back at Zim, “Zim, why are you covered in- you know what? Never mind. I... I don’t want to know.”

Zim rubbed his hands down his face, “Goodbye, Dib. I’m going the fuck home.”

And he just, walked away. And Dib just watched, before slowly walking outside to peer into the alleyway.

Yet, as he stared around at the total destruction and chaos, baffled and wondering if it was Zim’s doing, the schedule manager stalked up behind him.

Dib swung about to defend himself, opening his mouth to say it was all Zim’s fault, but he was merely flatly informed, “You’re fired.” 


	24. Alien Puberty...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib is being a little rat boy.

It was the afternoon of the following day that Dib found himself in Zim’s base once more. The boy creeping along the ventilation system covered head to toe in a dark jump suit that one _might_ feel tempted to describe as a ninja suit.  
 _If_ the ninja was a stereotypical movie based one with a pair of big, green night vision goggles on his head and was in fact a young, nearly teenage boy with an unhealthy obsession for the paranormal and proving his worth to a world that neither cared nor wanted to acknowledge him.

But either way, Dib had made it by security system after security system, the laptop currently in the small backpack on his back working to connect to the base’s simpler security measures and disable them.  
And while the boy thought himself a genius for such a feat, defeating what he could only imagine as incredibly advanced alien tech, it was a shameful fact that the only reason he had made it so far was Zim had _practically_ begged Shep to lower the danger level of said security for whenever Dib sneaked in.  
And Shep, only finding a sort of pity for the human boy as well as a sense of curiosity for the kid’s schemes, had agreed.

But Dib didn’t need to know this, for he was only in it for the hunt himself.  
For even though he was still determined to expose the alien and defeat him (espically since their classmates seemed like they didn’t or couldn’t remember the incident where Dib revealed Zim, which Dib had concluded was because of brain parasites or alien mind wipes), Dib wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t enjoy their quarrel all the same. Because while he still dreamed of dissecting the aliens and showing them off to the world’s most renowned scientist, especially to gain the awe and praise of his father, for now simple things like even knowing aliens actually existed and he was in one’s base brought a sense of purpose to everything.  
And so Dib continued his journey into the depths of the base, only pausing a few times when he nearly got stuck or hooked up on something or another, freezing when he heard voices.

Yet, even though he listened intently, Dib couldn’t tell what the voices was exactly saying, the one he could most clearly hear being deep and almost musical in such a sense that it reminded Dib of a bass instrument.  
Though he could definitively say that the voice didn’t belong to Zim or Shep, for it was too deep and sounded much more masculine.  
  
Were Zim and Shep the only aliens in the base or where there more?

Dib swallowed sharply before easing himself closer, squinting around as he spotted a source of light coming up through some of the cracks in the vent.

He heard the voices get louder as a higher pitched voice butted in, though he still couldn’t understand what language it might have been. Though it did sound familiar to those clicking, hissing sounds Zim sometimes made when he cursed.  
There was a definitive snicker as the voice trailed off before he recognized Zim’s shrill voice speaking in the sharp clicking language as well. Though honestly, who wouldn’t be able to connect that to the loud, egoistical maniac. Dib had heard him speak enough to be able to identify his nemesis _anywhere_!

The masculine voice returned in what Dib could swear might have been a question before Zim interrupted him. And to Dib, it sounded like he was lowkey whining at this point and Dib had to cover his mouth to hide the snicker at how pathetic the alien sounded even in a language made of snarls, clicks, and hisses. Though the boy was admittedly quite curious what they were going on about.

He inched closer as he switched off his night vision, blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Dib then tried to peer into the few visible cracks he could see before suddenly he heard a low creak come from under him. The voices quieted before the masculine voice asked something curious.

Then a nasally voice merely growled out in English, “ _Zim_...?”

But Dib didn’t hear what was said from there as there was suddenly a harsh screeching sound as what looked like a sharp, metallic spine stabbed through right next to Dib’s head. With a shrill shriek, Dib shouted a loud and blunt, “WHAT _THE_ _**FUCK**_!” before the section of vent he was in was torn downwards with him still in it.

Dib would admit it without shame, he screamed the whole way down and then some even after the fall.  
When he finally stopped and cautious peered open an eye, Dib became vividly aware of the red eyes glaring at him. And before the boy could crawl out, get up, and run (or really do anything for that matter), sharp claws dragged him out by his arm, the talon like fingers digging into his skin.

Dib blinked at the sudden brightness around him before the claws sharply dragged him around to face Zim, the alien glaring at him narrowly. Then he hissed sharply, in crisp and clear English, “WHAT THE _FUCK_ **DIB**? DO YOU KNOW _HOW FAR DOWN_ IN THE EARTH YOU ARE **RIGHT NOW**? HOW _LONG_ WERE YOU IN THERE!??”

Dib grunted and jerked back to get the alien’s claws off, ignoring the sudden tearing sound and flare of pain in that area, pointing a finger harshly in the other’s face, “Well for YOUR information! I’ve been in there for **only** about 20 minutes!” Then the boy noticed something that made his face flush as Dib hurriedly covered his eyes with his hands, “ _ **OH MY GOD**_! WHY _AREN’T_ YOU WEARING **_CLOTHES_**!”

Zim scoffed and Dib hurriedly turned away as the alien began to snicker, “ _Wait_ , so the ‘almighty alien hunter’, Dib-shit, goes on and on about he’s going to _dissect_ me, but can’t look at me without clothes on?”

Dib screeched, “YOU ARE _NAKED_ ZIM!”

The alien merely hummed, “Yes. Yes I am.”  
Then he addressed the other voices, “Oh hey, Lard Nar, Tak, so this is the hooman Zim was telling you about. I don’t think you really got a good look at him last time Tak.”

There was a hum from one and Dib heard a mild tsk from the other before who he assumed was Lard Nar spoke up in that deep language again before it seemed to dissolve into English, “-thought it would be... _taller_? Also are their heads usually that large?”

Dib, forgetting his dilemma, swung around sharply, realizing the voice was coming from a strange purple figure on a large screen before yelling, “MY **HEAD** IS _NOT THAT LARGE_!”

The figure squinted at him, adjusting his own pair of green goggles that sat over beady eyes before commenting, “Are you sure?”

Dib was going to start screaming again before realizing Zim was still naked and still standing _right_ next to him. The boy gave a screech and covered his eyes, “ _ZIM_ FOR THE _LOVE OF GOD_ CAN YOU AT LEAST PUT ON _SOME PANTS_!”

The nasally voice that had spoken Zim’s name earlier snickered from somewhere behind him, “Wow, he really _does_ have a high pitched squeak of a voice!”

Dib whined softly before Lard Nar spoke up, though the boy made sure to keep his eyes covered. “Oh let off.” There was a soft tsk from who he knew now must be Tak before the purple alien continued, “Zim go put some pants on, would you please?”

There was a snort before Zim groaned, “Fine. But only because THIS IS ANNOYING!” 

Then there was the tapping of claws walking away as Dib carefully lowered his hands with a sigh of relief once confirming Zim was gone. Though now that he was paying attention, he casted a critical glance over this Tak character and Lard Nar.

Tak was about his height, with a notably paler green skin tone than Zim, a small black beauty mark under one of her vivid purple eyes, and a curious pair of arching, curled antenna. Dib turned back to the screen and noted that the alien there was quite different from Tak and Zim.  
His purple-gray skin tone, odd horn-like protrusions, and strange hooved limbs made Dib think that he was a different species from Tak and Zim.  
Though then again, Tak looked quite different from Zim as well, though more similar than this Lard Nar person.

Then the silence was broken and Dib was pulled out of his thoughts as Lard Nar leaned forward in his chair with a chuckle, “You must excuse Irkens for their crudeness.”

Tak snorted but he merely contuined at Dib’s arched eyebrow, “They haven’t reproduced naturally for a millennia or so, so don’t worry kid, there’s _nothing there_ to actually be worried about if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking.” He tilted his head with a knowing smirk as Dib’s face dropped with relief and embarrassment.

Then the purple alien tilted his head, and as the boy watched, those peculiar horns moved lightly, making Dib ponder if they were even horns at all.

But either way Dib realized he was still standing in Zim’s base and straightened up as he realized he didn’t know what to do.  
Then there was the tapping of claws again as Zim returned, loudly yelling, now wearing some utterly ridiculous cat-themed shorts, “THE GREAT ZIM HAS RETURNED!”

Tak gave a smirk at the other Irken and teasingly kicked at his tail while he walked by, earning a surprisingly tame hiss from Zim as he rolled his eyes (Dib _assumed_ Zim was rolling his eyes, though now that he thought about it, it could have just been the lightening reflecting off his large, mono-colored eyes that gave that effect). Then Zim stopped next to Dib and raised his arms in a grand gesture towards himself, sneering at the human, “Better, _stinky_?”

Dib nodded with another flare of embarrassment rising to warm his cheeks before tilting his head curiously as he noted something odd about Zim’s skin, “Hey, why are you so yellow? Is it like an alien spore or something?”

Tak snickered and walked over, and even though she may have only been an inch or so taller than Zim, she seemed to tower above him by mere presence alone. The Irken bared her zipper-like teeth with a grin, Dib noting intrigued they had a pink tint to them as she cheekily said, “ _Nope_ , he’s just going through alien puberty~!”

Zim whined loudly, absently waving her off with a hand as he poked Dib sharply in the chest, “It’s none of **YOUR** BUSINESS!”

Dib huffed and stepped back with a frown, “Whatever then, Weirdo!”

Tak grinned at the boy, “ _Wow_. Nice insult, little man.”

Dib frowned and mildly commented, “I... was that sarcastic or... you sound just so condescending...”

The alien merely smirked at him and the human’s frown deepened before he turned back to gaze around the area, “What _is_ this place?”

Zim opened his mouth broadly but Tak merely clapped Dib harshly on the shoulder, “You are incredibly nosy.”

Zim blinked over and hummed, forgetting his explanation as he cheerfully stated, “Dib is incredible nosy! That’s why his head is SOOOO BIG!”

Dib gave his nemesis a look before the alien seemed to remember Dib had snuck in, suddenly shouting, “Oh! _HEY_! YOU ARE _NOT_ SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!”

Lard Nar gave an amused comment from behind, “Then why is he still here, Zim?”

Zim sputtered before suddenly snatching the kid up by his collar, “Well I’ll go put him outside then!”

The other aliens merely chuckled, Lard Nar’s surprisingly much lighter than his speaking voice while Tak’s could be described more as a well-meaning cackle as Zim stalked out with his head and tail held highly. With Dib merely dangling from his grasp with the air of a confused kitten.

Dib blinked a bit, hanging there as he processed the sudden turn of events before sharply struggling out of his grasp, Zim’s claws tearing the outfit once more as the boy got loose, “ _HEY_!”

Zim gazed at the boy with narrowed eyes before stating, “What?”

The boy frowned, “Wait, what?”

Zim furrowed his brow, “Eh?”

Dib glanced around before changing the subject before they got more confused, “Uh, so is this your evil lab?”

The Irken merely looked at him for a long time, before sighing and walking along, knowing Dib would trail after him. And after a confused second, the boy did so, tugging off the night vision googles as he went about brushing back some loose hair.  
Then Zim glanced over his shoulder, “I have a lab, but it’s elsewhere. Also WHAT are you STARING AT?”

Dib’s gaze, which had been drifting about the area now seemed glued onto him before the boy gazed back, “Uh, well I didn’t think you were this, well _colorful_.”

Zim flicked a middle claw at the boy before grumbling, “Well I can promise it’s not voluntary.”

There was a pause as they continued along before Dib asked, dead serious, “So... _is_ it alien puberty?”

Zim spun around with a look of pure disgust, “I HOPE NOT! It’s uh... it’s...er. Genetics!”

Dib raised an eyebrow, curious. “I’m pretty sure puberty is a genetic thing?”

The alien glanced at him, hurrying along towards an elevator, “Wait, is it?”

Dib rubbed a hand over his chin as he thought about it, climbing into the elevator as well, “I mean... I _think_ so?”

There was a sigh from Zim before he tapped a clawed foot harshly against the elevator floor, “Huh. Well, whatever it is, it’s annoying!”

“It’s _kinda_ cool looking though.” Dib leaned back as he looked at the walls of the elevator with intrigue, just for Zim to groan loudly, getting his attention once more.

The alien was fiddling with the leg of his shorts before grumbling, “Think so?”

The kid shrugged simply, pulling out his normal glasses from his backpack, just glad that he hadn’t broken them in the fall earlier.  
As he folded up his special googles and readjusted his glasses, Dib said, “Well it’s interesting at the very least. I mean, I knew you had some yellow along your tail and some blue, but to see how it looks on the rest of you...” He made a light humming sound before waving a hand, “It looks kinda like the spots form vague stripes along your arms as well,” he said trailing a finger along the spotting covering the alien’s arms.

Zim tilted his head curiously, following where the other pointed before there was a shift and the elevator opened the ceiling above them to deposit them in Zim’s kitchen. Dib blinked wide eyed, and stared sharply at Zim, “ _Okay_ , that was also kinda cool.”

The alien grinned widely, and Dib couldn’t help but realize that Zim’s teeth were MUCH sharper and lacking a pink tint unlike Tak’s own teeth. Was Zim a different variety of the same species? A subspecies? Or something like that? What did Shep look like?

But before he could open his mouth, Zim pointed harshly to the door, “Now LEAVE!”

Dib whined like a child that had their favorite toy dangled before them, just to have it snatched away. “WHAT! But... oh _c’mon_! You can’t j-“

But Zim merely glared at him, antenna flicked upwards in a way that gave him a more intimidating look as he glowered. Then bluntly he commanded, “GIR, make Dib leave the base. _NOW_!”

Dib’s gaze darted sharply over to the couch where the robot was sitting before said robot jumped to his feet. And the boy felt his heart drop as those vivid teal eyes and dopey smile turned into a blank face with deep, harsh red eyes as he intoned sharply, “YES, SIR!”

And before Dib knew it, the small figure of GIR had tossed him right out the door into the midst of the lawn gnomes, which instantly swerved towards him as he gave a shriek.

Zim merely closed the door and headed back down again after giving GIR a vibrant smile, “GOOD WORK, GIR!”

The hybrid stepped back into the trash can lab entrance as he left Dib to his fate, the boy scurrying back to his feet and away to the safety of the street. Though at least this time, Dib had gained some new knowledge to ponder. With a gleeful air, as the boy walked home with a few new scruffs and bruises, he hurriedly dragged his lap top out to text a quick message to Keef.


	25. All About Presentation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib just needs a permission slip to be signed, but Gaz doesn’t seemed inclined to let him.

Keef was walking next to Dib while the boy beamed and chatted on about how the Swollen Eyeball had finally permitted him to give a presentation on Zim and his theories on the alien.

And while the redhead was nodding and smiling along, he couldn’t help but feel skeptical. This sounded important, for sure, though Keef still don’t know how to feel about Dib’s obsession with Zim being an alien (sure it was possible, but this was just desperate), and he wasn’t sure how he felt about this Society of the Swollen Eyeball. But one thing about the presentation was getting him thinking, so when Dib took pause to catch his breath before rambling again, Keef finally asked, “So, uh, if this presentation is tonight, why aren’t you preparing for it?”

Dib groaned, waving a dismissive hand, “It’s at 8, _it’ll be fine_.”

Keef frowned, green eyes trailing upwards to look at the sky, “Well still, why are we out here then?”

There was a growl to his side, and when glanced at Dib, the boy was fidgeting with his glasses before muttering, “I need to get a signature from my dad for it.”

Keef raised his eyebrows, “Wait!- _What_? Then WHY are we out HERE? Shouldn’t we head to your house?”

Dib gave him a confused look, those amber eyes of his squinting over at Keef, “Why would we head to my house? We’re going to Membrane Labs. _Duh_.”

There was a brief silence before Keef gave a light, “Oh. Okay.” He turned to peer back the way they came before bluntly saying, “Uh, though... Dib, we could have just asked my brother to drive us. Could have been quicker than walking, you know?”

Dib blinked, scoffed loudly, before rolling his eyes as his face flushed. With an awkward mutter, the boy merely flapped a hand in the redhead’s direction, “Whatever. It’s fine!”

Keef opened his mouth to question him further, but merely let the subject drop as Dib began to hurry along with another harsh mutter of, “It’s FINE, _Keef_.”

After giving Dib a long look, Keef merely followed along with a mild skip in his step now, partially because he was getting some of that nervous energy building up again (and partially because Dib walked unusually quick, especially now.)

And after a bit of time, the flush of red along Dib’s face fading, the boy merely started to go on another tangent about how there was supposedly another alien at Zim’s base and such, and Keef let him just blabber on.

It wasn’t until they had neared the labs that Keef stopped Dib, now concerned with another issue to this plan, “Wait, what’s the plan? Are we just going to walk in or what?”

Dib gave him a look and nodded like it was obvious but Keef couldn’t help but feel nervous. “You sure they’ll just let you in?”

Dib groaned loudly, “Well I am Membrane’s son, am I not?” He gave Keef another sharp look before sighing, “I mean, I’m quite literally a **clone** of him! I think the guards will recognize me!”

The redhead merely sighed, rubbing his face before shrugging, “If you say so.” Dib didn’t respond, hurrying along with his briefcase held in a tight grip and a sharp, determined grin on his face.

But Keef couldn’t help but feel that there was something that was going to go wrong.

~

Dib could hear Keef’s hesitant steps behind him while he trotted excitedly towards a security guard, only to have the man sharply straighten up and jab an electrical rod at him as he screeched, “WOAH! _Woah_! Audience tryouts are on the **OTHER** side of the building!” 

Dib felt hands jerk him back and as he gaped, the electric rod swinging inches from him as the man stared at them sharply, Dib heard Keef practically snarl, “HEY! What the heck!”

The hands let go and Keef shoved by Dib to point a finger at the guard, “WHAT WAS **THAT** FOR?”

The man merely grunted, shoving the rod forward again as he snapped loudly, “NO ONE gets in WITHOUT _security clearance_!” Dib pulled Keef back this time as the man thrust the weapon at the redhead with an annoyed growl, “Especially _NOT_ some RANDOM two kids!”

Dib grunted, “But I’m Membrane’s **son**!” The electric rod was shoved at him again, brushing his skin and sending Dib reeling back at the sharp shock of electricity that ran through him.

Keef winced and pulled Dib back a few steps by his coat as the boy gasped, “We just need a signature! FOR THE SAKE OF **THE WORLD**!”

The guard grunted, the rod swinging out again, this time Dib jumping back with Keef before it could come in contact with him.

The lean man glared at them as they stared back, before suddenly the guard huffed tiredly, “Fine, then _explain_ it to me.”

Dib bared his teeth with a harsh growl, “I WILL THEN!”

It had been earlier in the day, Dib explained to the man, when he’d gotten a call from a member of the Swollen Eyeball.

_ The dark figure on Dib’s Computer screen shifted forward, pale eyes contrasting greatly as they darted about as the man spoke, “Agent Mothman, you’re being allowed to give a presentation on this alien of yours at 8pm sharp, tonight.” _

_The boy felt his heart soar before the man added, “Though you’ll need a parent or guardian to sign a permission slip for it.”_

_ Dib scoffed, sitting up straighter in his chair to argue this when that shifting gaze froze on his face and the agent said curtly, “And don’t think about faking a signature, the paper is programmed to explode in just such a case.” _

_ The boy groaned harshly, waving a hand around as he snapped, “But! Tha- a permission slip stands in the way of ME SAVING THE WORLD?! Are you KIDDING ME!” _

_ The agent merely gazed at him before signing off, leaving Dib glaring at his own reflection on the black screen. Slowly, the boy eased a hand through his hair with a sigh, “Well at least they’re letting me give a presentation.” _

_The boy smiled to himself, “Yeah. Then they’ll see how important my findings are! Yeah!_ -MANKIND DEPENDS ON THIS!”

Dib blinked back to himself as he gazed up at the guard now, realizing he’d yelled that last bit as he got caught up with the excitement. The lean, man merely glanced at him before pointing at Keef, “So why’s this one with you?”

Keef perked up, “Well, I’m Dib’s _**bestest**_ friend!”

The other gave him a look before grumbling, “Keef, you’re my _only_ friend.”

The redhead merely beamed, “Which makes me the best!”

The security guard merely watched them before suddenly jabbing the electric rod at Dib again, the two boys caught off guard as Dib screamed. Keef jumped back with a wide eyed blink, but before the redhead could say anything, the electric rod was shoved at him.

It was when both boys were stumbling away from the man, Dib pulling up Keef as he scowled, that Gaz arrived.

To those that knew better, many would have recognized the girl had a calm to her that would make demons shield away and the devil himself flinch before her.

But unfortunately for Dib, he was an idiot and oblivious to the fury he’d unleashed. 

So he didn’t see the warning signs, the twitch of a hand, the flicker of the corner of her mouth into a predatory smile, the subtle way she walked lax when it was her normal to be tense and ready to spring.

And even if Dib didn’t realize his crime, Gaz was ready to sentence him to his punishment.

_ It had been perhaps moments after his call with the member of the Swollen Eyeball, when Dib came dashing downstairs with an air of excitement you’d see in a child on Christmas Day. And Gaz could ignore that, especially as he started muttering to himself, but what she couldn’t ignore was what he did next. _

_ Gaz was there, the pizza box with the last slice before her, and just as she raised that slice of godly food, Dib stole it. He looked her dead in the eye, smiled, and said in that stupid fucking voice of his, “Oh yeah! Thanks, Gaz! Can’t starve while I’m heading off to SAVE THE WORLD!” _

_ And off he went, eating HER PIZZA SLICE, closing the door and sealing his fate. _

TIME TO MAKE HIM PAY.

Keef squinted at Gaz with confusion while Dib merely smiled at her, “Oh! Hi Gaz, what are you doing here?”

Gaz smiled, and a feeling of dread overcame Keef as she simply said, “I thought I might as well come and help you.”

Dib beamed, turning away from her to smirk at the guard, “Well at least _someone_ wants to help me fight off the incoming alien swarm!” just for Gaz to signal to the guard that Dib was in fact crazy behind his back.

Keef backed up a step from the siblings, unsure, until suddenly, the guard straightened up with a smirk of his own. He nodded shallowly to Gaz as he said shortly, “Well, you’ll have to go to audience tryouts then.”

Keef moved to pull Dib away, just for Gaz to suddenly grab the redhead by his shirt and stop him where he stood. The redhead glanced at the girl and she glared through purple bangs, “My war is with Dib, not you. So I recommend you back the fuck off.”

And before anyone could say anything else, or do anything, a large green tube suddenly slithered from the building, and as Dib glanced up, it vacuumed him up with a shriek.

Gaz smirked and kicked the suitcase her brother dropped into the tube as she released Keef, the boy staring sharply from her to the tube. _Well shit._

~

Dib winced when he finally dropped from the tube, raising a hand to his head as he blinked at his new surroundings. Well this was... something, all around him were people of various ages, and they seemed to be taking some kind of test? The boy sat up straighter curiously when suddenly he felt something fall hard against his shoulder, his suitcase tumbling to his side as the boy gave another wince.

A robot suddenly zipped forward, intoning in a low, metallic voice, “This is the Professor Membrane audience exam.” 

A sheet of paper was settled on his desk and Dib couldn’t help but scowl, “Wait, you have to take an _exam_ to be in the audience!? **Come on**!”

The robot merely intoned emotionlessly, “This exam will test your knowledge on the different branches of science, mathematics, and the personal history of Professor Membrane.”

The boy sighed with a narrowed glare, “ _ **Fine**_.” He glanced at the exam and felt his heart drop as he sighed, “Really? How am I supposed to know what dad’s _first sentient thought_ was?”

A familiar voice answered him from behind, “It was ‘I will poop now,’ it’s in his autobiography.”

Dib swung his gaze behind him and noted Gaz sitting there with a nervous Keef at her side, the redhead offering him a weak smile.

Before Dib could question how they’d gotten in, a sharp voice spoke up behind Gaz, a girl covered head to toe in Membrane merchandise leaning forward to tap harshly at the book, “UH, _NO_? It was actually-“

Gaz merely shoved her away with a snarl, turning back to her brother, “Now get back to your exam.”

Dib turned back to the exam before pausing, “Wait, how did you two get here?”

Gaz merely kept reading the autobiography, or at least pretended to, while Keef replied with a meek, “Staff entrance.”

The boy sighed, “Ugh, why didn’t I think of that?” He gave another deep sigh as he muttered to himself now, Keef picking up his suitcase as the redhead sat down next to him with a lazy hum.

Dib glanced at the other and boldly proclaimed, “I may not know my dad’s first poop, but I’ll show this test!”

Keef gave him a thumbs up, and with the reassurance, Dib focused on the test, answering question after question.

He rarely looked up, but when he did, Dib found Gaz staring down at him, blocking his view of the other examers as though believing he was going to cheat. It was kinda of creepy though, the girl moving much quicker than an average child should be capable with that sharp, narrowed gaze of hers watching him like a hawk. Those hazel eyes of hers seemed to bore into him.

So Dib focused on his test, choosing to ignore screams of distress and cries of denial. Though he did start to feel nervous as Keef whispered to him that the test seemed to be pretty strict as the redhead saw people sent away for getting even a 94 on the exam, making Dib try even harder.

All the while with Gaz watching and judging.

It was when he’d finished the test that Dib felt himself grow even more concerned, having had a stroke of confidence in the moment, though losing it just as quickly as the robot took the test and scanned it.  
There was a pause before the robot intoned, “Your score was... 94.1! This is...” Dib shifted in his seat nervously. “...ACCEPTABLE!”

The boy gave a loud sigh of relief, exchanging a relieved glance with Keef until Dib realized another green tube was extending above him. Dib grimaced before he was suddenly sucked up yet again to be thrown into some new mess.

Dib blinked as he gazed around at the new room he found himself in, it looked almost like a cage as he squinted at the shadowed areas. He was startled then by a loud voice announcing from above, “WELCOME! To the evaluation test: ROUND TWO!”

The boy sighed, “Round two?”

Lights turned on all around him, making the boy jump with a startled glance around at the newly illuminated cage he was in, just to note Gaz and Keef once more. Gaz smiled pleasantly at him from outside the cage, “Staff entrance.”

Dib scowled before the voice suddenly spoke up again, “CHOOSE YOUR SCIENCE TOOL!” A section of the floor before him opened up and odd, over-sized science tools appeared. Dib nervously glanced back, Gaz watching with a blank face now while Keef at least gave him a smile and thumbs up. 

The boy nodded before walking over to grab a giant eyedropper, mildly thankful Keef had his suitcase as he adjusted the tool in both hands.

Dib then turned to gaze about curiously, intrigued as to what he’d be doing just for the voice to say brightly, “NOW PREPARE FOR BATTLE!”

He swung around sharply with a squeak, “Battle!?”

Footsteps could be heard and as Dib turned nervously, the boy felt his heart fly into his mouth as he meet Zim’s red gaze. The alien not even attempting to disguise himself as he stalked forward with his tail lashing behind him and a q-tip held in his gloved claws.

Dib couldn’t help but sharply yell at the alien, “ZIM!? What are you _doing_!”

Zim merely stalked closer, eyes narrowing, “I owed Gaz a favor. And I was in the area.”

The boy turned sharply to glance back at his sister, shocked, “Gaz?”

The girl merely narrowed her eyes and before he knew it, Dib had been knocked to the ground, Zim aiming his weapon at his chest. Dib winced and scrambled back as Zim watched him with a flicker of a smirk, but just as the alien was going to stab down and hit the target on his chest, Dib yelped and hit out on reflex.

The voice sounded once more with a cheerful sounding chime, “Attendant one earns a point!”

Dib peered up, and he couldn’t help but ask curiously, “I won?” He smiled excitedly, “Ha! I WON!”

But when he gazed back at the Irken, Zim merely stared at him in silence before stalking off towards the opposite side of the cage. With a shudder, Dib carefully stood up as he wandered back towards Keef. Gaz watched him and Dib pointed a finger at her, “What the heck, Gaz?”

But the girl didn’t reply, merely crossing her arms as the voice spoke up again, “BATTLE 2 of 3! Test your knowledge of COMBUSTION!”

Zim peered up curiously as Dib furrowed his brow and watched the ground begin to break up, sections falling away. Alien and human met gazes as cables attached to their suits and flames erupted upwards from the room.

Dib broke eye contact as he nervously yelled back to Keef and Gaz, “What’s this got to do with science?”

Gaz merely smiled sharply at him, the flames flashing in her eyes while Keef gave an alarmed shrug.

Zim merely turned to eye the floor, now unsure, “Is that normal?”

Dib merely shouted harshly, pointing his eyedropper at the alien, “NO IT IS NOT!”

The Irken blinked and merely said “Oh” in response. Then he snapped to attention, “Well let’s get this over with.” With a sudden, sharp hiss, Zim launched himself at the other, arching the q-tip upward in the air as he aimed for the boy’s enormous head, Dib yelling as he scrambled away.

Zim swung around, “STAND STILL!”

Dib screeched, using his eyedropper to parry a blow, ducking from another as he jumped to another ledge. Zim glowered at the boy as he began to talk nervously, “I don’t see why you’d have any interest in this Zim! You aren’t even in your disguise!” Dib nearly tripped as he blocked another blow. “LET’S TALK THIS OUT!”

The hybrid watched Dib flail about, rolling his eyes at the boy’s desperate attempts at distraction or confusion, kicking Dib in an effort to unbalance him again. “I told you! I owe Gaz!” Zim swung again and watched satisfied as Dib stumbled on the edge, smirking, “And anyways, Gaz assured me no cameras are even in this area, _no one will even know_.”

Stalking closer, Zim smiled down at Dib, “And hell, I get to beat you around! No possibility for exposure, Gaz isn’t going to destroy me for what I do to you, _annnnnd_ ~ I get to do this!” And just as the boy might have gotten his balance, Zim shoved him hard in the chest with his weapon, the ding of Zim earning another point sounding as the the boy gaped at his nemesis before falling over the edge.

Cheerfully, Zim merely leaned forward to watch, Dib screaming like the mewling smeet he was, before the cable holding him went taunt and shot him back up. And even though the boy was back on solid ground in mere seconds of his fall, Dib’s legs shook and he fell back hard on his butt. 

And Gaz watched with pure delight, Keef standing next to her, both unnerved and unsure. Because the glee that had spread over the younger girl’s face had been terrifying to see and the fact Zim actually was an alien had him reeling! He would have never seen it coming... though then again... it did make sense. Actually, it really made a lot of sense know that he actually thought about... Huh.

But Keef also didn’t really know how to feel about seeing the two fighting.

It seemed the universe didn’t care what he thought though, as the voice announced, “BATTLE 3 out of 3! TIE BREAKER! Show off your knowledge of the insect world and cybernetic DEATH MACHINES! With cyber-arachnid-Rama!”

Dib frowned, “But spiders aren’t insects?” He glanced at over at Keef, “So is this... spider robots? _Do spiders have robots_?”

Keef shrugged with a confused look etched on his face, “I don’t know.”

As Dib opened his mouth to question the boy further, the ceiling opened above them, everyone’s gazes drawing upwards.

That’s when two peculiar robotic suits dropped down, the suits splitting off towards Zim and Dib. The suits themselves looked kind of like a harness, and as one quickly broke apart and attached itself to the each of them, four pairs of spider-like legs erupted from the harnesses sides and another cable locked into the back of the harness in addition to the previous safety cord.

Dib nervously glanced at Zim and Zim gazed back with a sneer as he mused, “This’ll be interesting.”

And before Dib could quite get ready, the spider-like legs raising him off the ground into an unsteady stumble, Zim was making his way towards Dib with ease.

With a squeak as the points of mechanical legs came a little to close for comfort, Dib managed to jump away, kicking out at Zim as the spider legs clung to the cage.

The alien snarled, swerving around as he raised his arms in agitation, “GET BACK HERE! Zim has goats he needs to retrieve!”

Dib merely screamed in response, though admittedly a tad confused at the goat remark. Turning away from the Irken, he used the mechanical legs to start climbing up his harness cable like some oversized spider. Zim watched before adjusting his own spider-legs to rapidly climb up the fight cage.

The boy glanced back with a nervous yelp, looking about before deciding he might as well face the alien. Zim slowed his pursuit and the two paced around each other as Dib leapt to the cage’s side as well. The Irken then glanced sharply towards Dib, and while the boy slowly crept back, Zim watched his every movement intently.  
Suddenly he leapt at the boy, Dib watching wide eyed as Zim tackled him, their cables catching them and shooting the two back up as they fell, the two getting disconnected from the other as they spun around in circles.

Dib winced as he reached out to grab the side of the cage, yelling at Zim to give up.

Zim merely readjusted himself with a grimace, tail lashing behind him as he adjusted the helmet he was wearing with a quick hand. He turned to level the boy with a glare before tackling the boy once more, scrambling to turn off the spider-like legs on Dib’s harness.

Dib tried to shove Zim away, when suddenly he noted Zim stretching out one robotic leg up towards his safety and harness cable. The boy froze and locked eyes with the alien as Zim cut the cables.

And Dib fell.

The boy screamed as he scrunched up his face, just to feel a sharp jerk as his free fall was suddenly stopped. Carefully peeling open an eye, Dib gave a nervous glance up, the boy noting that Zim had caught the cables and was slowly lowering him down. The boy merely glanced down now, when he was caught off guard by Zim dropping him while he was a few feet off the ground.  
Dib let out a harsh ‘oof!’ and blinked up just to see Zim lowering himself down with a large smile.

Dib snapped, “ _What the hell_!”

The alien still had that damn smile on as he looked down at him, “What? Did that scare you?”

The boy straightened up, dusting himself off while the robotic spider legs laid limp by his side, “You cut the safety cables!”

Zim lowered himself to Dib’s level as the boy marched to point harshly in his face, “YOU **JERK**!”

The Irken merely watched before sighing dismissively, “Oh come on, you’re alright, aren’t you?”

Dib opened his mouth to retort when Zim suddenly stabbed a claw against Dib’s chest, a dingle sounding as the boy realized he had basically offered up the target on his suit to his enemy. His mouth gaped open now, Zim lowering a hand to his wrist as he suddenly activated his holographic disguise once more.

Then Zim was declared the winner, and while Dib tried to wrap his head around the defeat, more of his father’s security guards walked in to drag him away. And Dib merely let them, the Membrane boy stunned and distraught, he’d been so close. SO CLOSE!

With tears pricking his eyes, Dib looked around in silence, just to meet Gaz’s gaze. And his sister merely looked at him with a smile gracing her lips, waving goodbye as he was dragged away.

That got him. That little taunting smirk and wave. He puffed up, enraged, and before either guard could react, the boy had bit down on one guard’s hand as Dib then kicked violently at the other. 

Dib stumbled back, and before he could get grabbed again, he was running. Glancing around as he bolted for it, Dib flicked Gaz off as he ran by the girl.

Dib looked at the doors he passed as he went down the hallway, lighting up as he saw the words ‘Professor Membrane’ written on one. Glancing sharply behind himself, Dib then burst into his father’s dressing room.

The scientist didn’t even seem to care at the disturbance though, just grunting lightly, adjusting his lab coat with barely a glance over, “Sorry, I’m not doing signatures right now.”

The boy merely whined sharply, “ _ **Dad**_!! It’s me Dib! I need you t-“ Dib froze, eyes darting around wildly as he realized he didn’t have the suitcase. Keef had it, fuck did he have the second copy as well? Dib frantically patted himself down.

Guards burst in, reaching to grab him before he suddenly ran up to his father, frantically waving the permission slip copy he had luckily stored in his coat earlier. “Dad! Sign this permission slip! _PLEASE_!”

The guards followed after him, one grasping his arm before his father waved them off, “Oh, wait. Dib, what is it you’re going on about?” Professor Membrane sounded tired, kneeling beside the boy with a sigh, “Let me see that.”

Dib relented the slip of paper with wide eyes as his father barely read over it, shaking his head softly before standing up to find a pen. The boy merely watched, sneering at the guards as they backed off with grunts and grumbles. 

Then, barely seconds later, the paper was handed back to Dib. The boy beamed at his father, the man merely patting him on the head before waving him off. “Next time son, just call me. Enjoy your... er, whatever it is.”

Dib nodded sharply before the guards suddenly started dragging him off, the Professor watching with a soft tsk as he turned back to readying himself for his show.

~

Dib had found Keef waiting outside for him, the redhead quickly peering over the boy with a concerned look until Dib had proudly showed the signed permission slip.

Keef smiled mildly, “Well, good for you.”

Dib nodded cheerfully, starting to walk off now, “I told you I’d get my dad’s signature easy!”

The redhead merely followed after him with a sigh, “Sure. Easy. Though... what you do to anger Gaz?” He handed off the boy’s briefcase and glanced briefly at the sky as Dib gave a simple shrug.

“Who knows, but that was too close!”

A curious gaze was sent his way, “You mean with Zim?”

“UGH. ZIM!” Dib threw his head back with a groan. “I can’t believe _Gaz_ got _him_ to sabotage **_me_**!”

Keef shook his head and shoved his hands into his short pockets, “Well, at least you got that cool battle armor and the signature! Right?”

Dib smiled, taking off the helmet as he ran a hand through his hair, “True. In a few hours I’ll expose Zim!”

Keef patted him on the back awkwardly, “Uh, sure! Why not!” Dib chuckled and patted him back excitedly.


	26. Chupacabras and Rising Annoyances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib finds himself out monster hunting, Gaz makes sure he doesn’t get himself mauled, and Zim is just vibing.

Dib was scrolling along the latest supernatural/paranormal forums that were up on the Swollen Eyeball site, the boy having nothing to really do that weekend. Normally he would go and spy on Zim or try to sneak into his lab... but not only had his dad put a hold on such plans, Dib also didn’t really want to go and have to face alien death machines or security systems.

It was just one of those days.

He was tired, not having slept that well the night before, and while he had had a great presentation the other day with the Swollen Eyeball, today was just meh. 

And sure, he had been told that he needed more photographic and video proof of his findings, but he could gather that later. Zim hadn’t really been up to much lately and the cameras Dib had tried to sneak into the base weeks prior always ended up deactivated by the end of the day. Though he could never catch who did it, Dib suspected it was mostly likely the other alien, Shep. Though then again, it could be that Tak character?

But Dib was more familiar with Shep, so he assumed it was her. After all, Zim didn’t seem to have the patience to go out and locate all his hidden cameras, but Shep... she was a possible candidate. Dib found the other alien curious.

Beside Parent-Teacher Night and the time his father had invited the two over for tea, Dib hadn’t actually encountered her much. Though from what interactions he’d had, she seemed to be the sort to be blunt and honest without a care for what her words did, intelligent with a peculiar politeness to her, but also ruthless, strange, and unnerving all the same.  
It also seemed the alien had a defensive, almost aggressively protective nature to what she regarded as hers. Which was also kind of unnerving.

After a moment, Dib shook himself from his thoughts, the boy stretching in his chair with a dull yawn, taking off his glasses to just rub at his face. He sighed and wondered if he should try to get by his dad’s ban and go gather more information on the other occupants of Zim’s base.

But then again, he didn’t even know that much about the alien’s base to be honest. Despite all his journeys there and the times he’d gone into the base’s ventilation, he hadn’t found much. So how would he manage to study the different aliens if he didn’t even know where to find them?

Like how far down did the base go? How big was it? What was it capable of? What was the true purpose of it? Was it just a place to offer cover? Zim had admitted to having a lab, so the base at least also functioned as a laboratory, especially if Shep’s comment about being a scientist was anything to go by.  
But why? Were the aliens creating weapons of destruction down there? Clones to replace world leaders? Brain parasites? Were they studying humans for weakness until striking?

Dib sighed and took a moment to calm his thoughts, and after a second, he lazily began scrolling through the website again to distract himself.

It’s when he caught sight of a supposed chupacabra sighting that he actually started to focus on what he was reading.

Apparently a local farmer had livestock going missing for a little over a week now, and he supposedly had stayed up at night with alarms set, waiting to see who the culprit was.  
Yet, when the alarms had gone off, when he had gone out to confront whoever, the farmer having suspected anything from teenagers playing pranks to possibly even wild dogs, he’d come in contact without something completely out of his understanding. The man reported seeing a bipedal creature with glowing red eyes, razor sharp teeth, and a long, spined tail. The farmer reported the creature being glimpsed by flashlight before it had darted back into the shadows with a hiss, but the man, having been so frightened, had ran back to his home without a care to investigate.

Dib let out a harsh scoff, mildly disappointed as he continued to scroll through it, but as he discovered, the farmer hadn’t gotten anything but his word to prove his story. The boy adjusted his glasses as he looked curiously at the comments regarding the story, seeing if anyone had anything to add to it or if anyone had possibly even taken up the case.

But no apparently, no one but Dib seemed interested, and this made Dib smile lightly, maybe he could go check it out. Nothing like a simple monster hunt to get his mind off some things.

~

Gaz was glaring harshly at her brother, “I thought you said there’d be a blood drinking demon.”

A flashlight illuminated her features and Dib sighed tiredly, “I said might. And then again it might just be some crazy old man babbling about nothing.”

The girl’s glare sharpened, “That’s stupid.”

The boy merely shrugged, “Well sorry, but that’s how things are sometimes.”

Gaz gave him a long look, opening her mouth before closing it again with a shake of her head, “You’re unbelievable.”

Dib ignored her, turning away to illuminate the dark area around them, a nearly pitch-dark grassy field fenced in with barb wire and electric fences. They’d gotten permission from the farmer that had made the report about the supposed chupacabra to come out to the land to investigate, and after doing a daytime sweep, Dib had decided to come at night as well.

And currently, he hadn’t seen much but his fair share of death glares from Gaz for dragging her out here, piles of animal droppings, and the occasional rodent. It was also quite quiet when compared with night in town, the sounds of crickets and frogs being the most he heard beside the occasional moo of cattle and the bleating of sheep or goats.

It was kind of refreshing actually. Because while he enjoyed his time trying to expose Zim, Zim was also incredibly obnoxious and noisy. Anyways, the whole Zim being an alien thing could wait until the Professor forgot that he was supposed to be caring about what his son was doing. Dib knew that wouldn’t be long, but a monster hunt was always fun, even if he didn’t see anything or got the evidence, Dib liked getting out the house.

So here he was, with Gaz coming along due to promises of blood sucking demons and mildly because their father told her to ‘keep an eye on her ‘poor, insane brother.’

And even though the girl had nodded along to her father’s words, she couldn’t help but think how stupid that was. The idiot could keep himself alive, he was a moron, but he wasn’t brain dead.

But Gaz did what she was asked, because it was a better excuse to go on the monster hunt than her admitting she was actually curious about what her brother was going on about this time. Especially if it was a blood thirsty demon he was going after.

“So what does this thing look like again?” Gaz tapped away at her latest game as she followed after her brother, glancing up every once and awhile to avoid stepping in a cow pie or a pile of sheep droppings.

Dib continued to gaze about where ever his light illuminated, “Well, what this guy claims to see is apparently a red-eyed, fanged, bipedal creature with sharp claws and a spiked tail. It supposedly was seen along the fence line over there.” The boy pointed towards their right as he stopped to gaze back at his sister. “A few other farmers and people in the area have actually claimed likewise, too. So there’s got to be something out here.”

Gaz hummed, pausing her game to look him in the eye, “Got any better descriptions? You sure this isn’t just someone getting pranked?”

Dib mulled that over before shrugging, “Well animals are going missing, but it could be?”

The girl grunted, gazing around now, using her own flashlight now, “Do you actually just go around and just wander about hoping to see something? Because that’s really lame.”

The boy raised an eyebrow, “Well... it’s not that lame... but I mean basically that’s what monster hunting is?”

Gaz snorted, “You should actually hunt these monsters.”

Dib stared at her for a bit. “Me? Go out and actually hunt something? I mean, sometimes I set up traps or whatever, but I’m like 13, Gaz. Dad would never let me out here if he thought I was actually carrying around a gun and stuff.”

Gaz shrugged. Cheekily she gazed back at him and said, “Well it’s not like he’d give a fuck. The only reason he even is paying attention is because you caused a scene at his studio. And because Shep complained about you.”

Dib swung his flashlight beam towards Gaz, “What?”

The girl merely snarled, “Get that fucking light out my face!” She held up a hand and the rage could be practically felt radiating from her.

Dib quickly obliged before asking, “What do you mean ‘Shep complained?’”

Gaz rubbed an eye as she blinked a few times. “Ugh, I don’t know, she came over yesterday, I think she was actually there just to steal some of dad’s equipment, but anyways she made an off handed comment to dad that you’d been sneaking around her house. And apparently dad paid attention.”

Dib scowled, “I don’t remember her coming over.”

Gaz rolled her eyes, “Well no fucking dip, Sherlock. You’re an obsessive idiot that spends his time looking up weird cryptid shit or stalking Zim, like a creep.” And before her brother could get another word in, Gaz spun on her heel to wander off, using her own flashlight to start looking around. “Call me if you find something actually interesting.”

And he just watched her go, Dib sighing loudly in annoyance before going back to investigating, drawing out his night vision camera.

~

Dib hadn’t heard or seen anything out of the ordinary since the time he and Gaz split up, nearly over two hours ago. But he’d found Gaz, so that was something, he guessed.

The girl was playing on her Game-Slave, sitting on an old tree stump and not giving a damn or fuck as she did so.

So Dib wandered over, “Hey, Gaz, see anything?”

She gave him a look, shining her flashlight beam in his face. The boy blinked and covered his eyes with a yell as he heard his sister say with a sigh, “Well I didn’t see anything and it’s nearly midnight.” Gaz moved her flashlight to illuminate the area around them, “So does that mean we can go home now?”

Dib groaned, rubbing his eyes, “ _ **Gaz**_ -“ Whatever he was going to say was cut off as they both heard a low humming sound, the boy shutting his mouth with a sharp look towards his sister. And she merely returned the gaze, wide eyed.

Gaz turned off her game and stood up, turning slowly in a circle, “Which way is it coming from?”

Dib pointed across the field, “I think over there?” He began walking, flashlight dancing around in his excitement.

A flash of light appeared in the distance and as Dib watched, a cow was being pulled upwards into the sky by what seemed to be a tractor-beam.

“What the actual fuck?” Gaz stood beside her brother squinting up at the apparent flying saucer before she said mildly, “Well that’s a let down.”

Dib turned towards her, “Gaz!!! I-IT IS A _FLYING FUCKING SAUCER_!”

The girl merely shrugged as she watched the cow disappear from sight, “Well we _already_ know aliens are a thing. Blood sucking demons would have been cooler.”

The boy merely stared at her before glancing back up, just to watch as the ship faded from view altogether.

Dib took a deep breath in before screaming into his hands. Gaz looked at him sharply before saying, “Dib, what the actual hell is wrong with you?”

The boy kept his face in his hands as he softly said, “ _A flying saucer_ _was right there and I forgot to get proof_.”

His sister merely rolled her eyes, “Oh one of your stupid cameras probably got it.”

Dib merely sat down on the ground, whining softly, “The cameras are set on the fenceposts! They’d be aimed lower...”

Gaz merely watched the pitiful display before looking up sharply, squinting, her eyes puzzled. “Uh, Dib?”

The boy merely let out a questioning whine out, “ _Whaaaat_?” He sighed deeply into his hands, face still hidden in them.

The girl swung her flashlight beam to where she was looking and a hiss filled the air as someone got a bright-ass light shined directly into their eyes. Gaz snorted and Dib’s head snapped around to find the source of the sound.   


He really wished it was a chupacabra. He was extremely disappointed by what he instead saw.

Instead of some blood covered, goat-killing cryptid, Dib instead saw a moron. Zim being clad head to toe in black clothing, all four arms exposed and trying to shield his face while his antenna twitched above his head and his tail lashed behind him.

After a moment the boy slowly stood up and just watched his nemesis hiss sharply at Gaz from where he’d fallen on the ground, cursing and spitting until she eventually pointed the light away from the Irken. 

Zim slowly lowered his hands and blinked a few times at them, then he climbed back up to his feet like nothing had happened and beamed widely at the two, “It’s a really nice night, isn’t it?”

The alien then pointed dramatically at Dib with a top arm while his bottom arms crossed, “ _So_! What are you doing here, Dip-shit!”

The boy merely stared at Zim, blank faced as he absently looked over the alien, “I could ask you the same.”

Zim just blinked again, “Eh? Then why not... just... ask me?”

Gaz cut in, “Figure of speech, lizard.”

The alien tilted his head sharply towards her before snapping his gaze back towards Dib, “Oh. Well, I came to investigate.”

The two stared at him to explain, and after a moment Zim got the message, “GIR said he saw people on the field. Didn’t you see the ship? Jeez, you’re blind.”

Gaz rolled her eyes and Dib just sighed, “We saw the ship just fine. But why are you _here_?”

The alien tilted his head to the other side, eyes shining a vibrant red, “Oh, same as you probably. Stealing live stock. You know how it is.” He gave an eased shrug.

Dib merely pinched the bridge of his nose, “Of course it was Zim.” He turned to Gaz with a scowl, briefly adjusting his glasses. “I’m not even surprised.”

Zim tilted his head and flicked his antenna up, “Eh?” Dib didn’t respond, closing his eyes and shaking his head. The alien waited a few moments more before he said slowly, “ _Waaaait_... you are... **_not_** here to also steal livestock as well?”

Gaz glanced over while Dib just sat back on the ground and covered his face back up with his hands. He could be heard softly muttering, “ _For fuck’s sake_.”

Seeing her brother was done, Gaz regarded Zim simply, “Nah. Dib was just trying to find a chupacabra.”

”The hell is that?” The Irken walked over, staring briefly at Dib, before looking back to Gaz, flinching slightly when her flashlight beam swung over, though the girl was merely using it to illuminate Dib this time.

She shrugged, “It’s like some blood sucking monster or something? Eats goats, drinks blood. Right, Dib?” Gaz kicked her brother and he merely gave a grunt of ‘Basically what she said’ before going quiet again.

Zim hummed and nodded slowly before his tail began to wag, “Well then. Okay! Sooooo, Gaz, you still coming over Tuesday?”

Dib peered out from behind his fingers, caught off guard, “Wait what?”

Gaz merely hummed, ignoring her brother, “Yeah, got some new skirts?”

The other nodded with a sneer, “Zim indeed has new skirts! They’re going to look awesome on my incredible figure~”

Gaz just grunted this time, giving him a long look. The alien merely beamed at her before turning suddenly on his heel. As he began walking off, Zim looked over his shoulder and called, “Well! Those sheep aren’t going to steal themselves! Good luck, idiots!”

And he was gone. Gaz blinked slowly before turning to look at Dib, “Did you know Zim’s eyes glow in the dark?”

The boy looked up at her and after a beat of silence, Dib just shook his head. The quiet stretched and was filled with the sound of crickets and frogs.   
  
As the silence between them stretched, Dib finally decided to break it. The boy glanced at his sister and said, “So what was that about you going to Zim’s base?”

His sister merely shrugged lightly, “Nothing important.” Dib opened his mouth to push her for an actual answer but she quickly cut him off before he could even get a word in, “Can we go home now?”

Dib buried his head in his hands again and groaned loudly.


	27. Everybody Knows.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib acknowledges some things. Some painful things. Things aren’t okay.

Dib was _pissed_.

Why? He wasn’t really sure, but he was.

Maybe it was because Zim had ruined his Chupacabra hunt and he couldn’t fight the alien when he saw him at Skool the next day. Maybe it was because his father had finally decided to meddle in his life for once. Maybe it was because Dib- no. It... _no_.

Dib huffed a breath as he entered the dark house, Gaz trailing behind him playing her game without a single care.

And Dib didn’t care, he was tired, snappy, and annoyed. So when he merely dumped his monster gear onto the living room floor after passing through the basically empty house (his father no where to be found, unshockingly), the boy then left Gaz to her own devices as went up to his room. The moment he had closed the door, Dib went over and flopped back onto his bed.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he let out a long sigh, Dib not even bothering to put on his pj’s as he set his glasses on his nightstand and simply pulled the covers over himself.

It was just going to be one of those nights apparently, though was it technically the morning? Whatever, Dib grunted and rolled onto his side. He’d deal with things when he woke up.

Yet, when ‘tomorrow’ came, things weren’t better. Dib honestly just felt even more sore and stressed, especially when he remembered this Monday had a test in store for him when he got to his first class.

Frankly, as he came within view of the Skool building, it took all his willpower to not ram his fist into Zim’s face when he saw the alien.

So he just ignored whatever taunt was thrown his way, moving so Gaz was blocking Zim’s view of him, before hurrying into Skool. Luckily, that seemed to put Zim off the chase. Good. Whatever. _It was fine._

Dib took a deep breath in before sighing and heading to class. He had fucking things to do and a test to take.

~

Zim was admittedly confused. Dib had completely ignored him.

That was bullshit. The hybrid felt himself pout, tail lashing as he turned his gaze to Gaz, and surprisingly, she seemed just as confused. 

Zim pointed towards the Skool and said bluntly, “What’s wrong with Stink-face?”

Gaz merely shrugged as she rolled her eyes, “How am I supposed to know?”

“Eh? Well you have to deal with living with him, I’d expect you to know.” Zim tapped a foot as he mildly brushed off his black leggings, a Vortain pair sent to him by Lard Nar. “Am I not good enough to be his nemesis now?”

The girl merely frowned, glancing at her game before looking over her shoulder towards the Skool. “Honestly, I have no clue. But I think it’ll be fine, he sometimes gets into a bad mood and I guess he’s in one now. Or something. Anyways, our Dad apparently made it a rule that Dib can’t fight you and stuff.”

The hybrid hummed for a moment before shrugging, “That’s dumb.” He spun on his heel and wandered off to find Keef, there still being a good 15 or so minutes before Skool officially started.  
But since he wasn’t going to get to spend that time getting into a sparring match with Dib, he might as well mess with Keef.

At least that one didn’t scream as much as the so-called paranormal hunter.

~

Dib laid his chin on one of his hands with a soft sigh as he used the other to fiddle with his coat. With a glance down, Dib begun to stare absently at his lunch. He was certain he’d failed that test earlier in the day and now he couldn’t stop staring at the disgusting mush before him.  
It looked like absolute dog food, literally, he was almost 100% certain it was dog food. But it wasn’t like he was going to eat it.

Which is why he was really grossed out when Keef snapped him out of his thoughts just to ask if he could have Dib’s lunch. Dib, of course, quickly shoved his tray towards the other before glaring at the table.  
  
Things were quiet after that, Gaz’s game making soft noises as she played while Keef happily ate his lunch.

After a moment, now too distracted by the fact Keef was eating dog food to actually zone out again, Dib spoke up. “That’s disgusting, Keef.”  
  
Gaz glanced over with a snicker, but Dib ignored her to instead gaze narrowedly at Keef.

And the redhead... merely shrugged. He even dared to smile at him before saying mildly, “At least I’m eating.”

Dib frowned, “I’m not eating dog food.”

The redhead rolled his eyes, “Why not make a home lunch then?”

The boy merely made a noise of annoyance, Dib waving a hand in a vague motion. After a moment he snorted, gazing away.

Keef hummed lightly before saying cheerfully, “I could make you one if you won’t do it yourself.”

Gaz and Dib glanced over at this, Gaz’s fingers still tapping over her gaming console while Dib gave Keef an unreadable look.

Keef, however, just smiled at the two, “I’ll take that as a yes!” He paused and gazed behind himself, smiling brighter, “Oh! Hey, Zim!“

Dib groaned as he followed the ginger’s gaze, and Gaz snorted as she stared back down at her game, “Thought it was too quiet around here.”

But Zim surprisingly remained fairly quiet for once, sitting down by Keef with a light, “Hi.”  
  
The redhead smiled before turning back to Dib, using his spoon to point at him and then Gaz, “You two have any allergies?”

Gaz shook her head while her brother merely gazed tiredly at Zim, ignoring Keef, “What do _you_ want?” Dib could practically feel his eye twitch.

The alien, however, didn’t even spare a response, just giving him an annoyed glare and huffing out a sigh. Dib narrowed his eyes, waiting for something before grumbling and looking back to Keef.  
Green eyes meet hazel and the boy finally gave Keef an answer, “No allergies. But like, you really don’t have to make us lunches.”

Gaz shot him a sharp glare, “Speak for yourself, Dib. Free lunch.”

Dib gave her a long look, “We have plenty of money to buy our own food.”

“He never said he was using his own food to make the lunches.”

“That doesn’t even- _ughhh_! GAZ-“

Zim nudged Keef with an arm as the siblings got to arguing, “What is happening?”

Keef hummed mildly, eating a few more mouthfuls of his lunch before he spoke. “Dib doesn’t want to accept my offer to make him a lunch because he’s being a stubborn grouch, Gaz is all for the lunch, and now I guess they’re arguing.”

The hybrid nodded lightly, tail flicking invisibly behind him, “So he won’t accept your offering? That’s dumb. Zim will gladly take it.”

The redhead snorted at that before Dib loudly interrupted, “HEY! You can’t call dibs on my lunch, _ZIM_!”

The hybrid crossed his arms, “Why not, Dib-shit?”

The boy slammed his hands on the table, teeth bared in a snarl, “It’s my lunch!”

Keef couldn’t help but laugh at that, “Thought you didn’t want it?”

Dib pointed harshly at Zim, “I DO NOT WANT _HIM_ TO HAVE **_MY_** LUNCH!”

Zim raised his arms in mock surrender, sneering, “Fine, I will not be taking your _nonexistent_ lunch.”

The boy merely groaned, before scowling, “Fuck off.” He took a deep breath as he then pinched the bridge of his nose. “What are you even doing? Are you just going to bother me because I didn’t reply to your stupid comment this morning?”

The alien tilted his head, “Yes and no. I can’t help it that you’re an overly emotional-“

”-I AM NOT A-“

”-simplistic worm-bab-“

Dib growled as he cut Zim off again, “-OH _COME ON_ -“

Zim shot him a sharp glare that got the boy to close his mouth with a flinch. There was a beat of silence, Keef and Gaz now watching the two, before Zim groaned loudly, “Can I fucking talk or not, Dib?”

The boy muttered a response, leaning back in his seat.  
The alien sighed, waving a gloved hand, “As Zim was explaining. Before _**interrupted**_. I noted you weren’t responding to our usual banter. As well you have apparently been ‘grounded.’ So I decided to... Uh, heh, well... offer a temporary, er truce? HA YES! _THAT_!” Zim nodded to himself as he suddenly stood up and thrust an arm into Dib’s face, the boy jerking back with a scowl. “ZIM IS OFFERING _YOU-_ PIG-SMELLY! A TRUCE! DO YOU _ACCEPT_?!”

Dib merely sneered, “You got to be kidding me. A truce? Yeah right!” He stood up as well, harshly shoving a finger to point into the other’s face, though Zim barely flinched, “ **BULLSHIT**!”

Zim drew his lips back in disgust, baring his teeth, “I assure you, Zim’s truce has nothing to do with cow dookie.”

Dib deflated, giving Zim a look as he slumped back into his seat. “That’s... no. Zim, what? No. Just- what?”

The alien just gave him an even more confused gaze, “What are we whating? Dib?”

The boy merely put his head in his hands as Keef awkwardly glanced at the two, “Wow. Okay, uh.” He gently tugged on Zim’s sleeve and the hybrid merely allowed himself to be pulled down, giving a quizzically gaze towards the redhead.  
Keef snorted, “I thought we talked about a gentle approach? Also he’s saying he doesn’t believe you.”

Dib’s gaze snapped up towards the two, “YOU HELPED HIM!” At the shriek, some people began to glance over and watch Dib now.

The redhead waved him off with a sigh, “Dib, it’s a truce. You could use a break. It’s not the end of the world.”

Dib jumped to his feet with a hiss, more people turning to watch with whispers and snickers, “HE IS AN ALIEN, _KEEF_.”

Gaz put down her game at that and snapped loudly, “We _know_ that, Dib. _EVERYONE_ KNOWS!”

The cafeteria got deadly quiet at that, people quickly averting their gazes as Dib gave his sister a look of such raw emotion, the girl instantly put her game down, rising to her feet, “I... uh-Dib-“

The boy merely took in a deep, shuddering breath, eyes burning as he took a step back. When he spoke up, Gaz having gone quiet, unsure what to say, his voice trembled as he simply said, “I knew it.”

Before he could elaborate, Dib suddenly bolted from the table, running out the cafeteria, and disappearing down the hall. A heavy pause, and the tension seemingly shattered for everyone else, the talking and noise returning to the cafeteria as Gaz, Keef, and even Zim stared after Dib with shocked expressions.

Zim looked sharply to Keef and said quickly, “Zim did not do that! You saw! It was _not_ me!”

Keef didn’t reply, looking quickly towards Gaz. But the girl was merely blankly staring at where her brother had been.

~

Dib tucked his legs up from where he was sitting on one of the bathroom toilets, breath coming in harsh gasps just to come out as choked sobs and sniffles.   
And he didn’t really know why he was reacting this way, because of course everyone else knew about Zim.   
And it didn’t even surprise him. He just didn’t... 

Dib harshly wiped at his face, glasses getting knocked askew as he tried to choke down another sob. But he just couldn’t.   
He didn’t know what to do. So of course he ran off! That’s what he always did when things got real. He just ran.   
  
What kind of a paranormal hunter even was he? A joke. That’s all Dib was to anyone, a joke and a _nut job_! 

His breathing hitched and Dib merely closed his eyes as his teeth dug into his bottom lip. Gaz knew. Keef knew. Zim probably thought he was a joke.

Dib buried his head in his hands, curling in on himself.

~  
  
Keef wasn’t sure what to do. No one at their table seemed to know what to do. Zim was staring at him and Gaz with wide, baffled eyes, and Gaz herself was just standing there. Then with a soft noise, she picked up her gaming console in her hands and sat down. Just sitting there with a blank, emotionless expression.

It was just so tense that Keef had to speak up, “I... I’ll go find him.”

Gaz glanced up for a brief moment, and after a moment, she nodded slightly with a soft noise that sounded more like a whimper than her usual grunt or annoyed huff. But he wasn’t going to comment, just nodding back as he turned to go.   
  
Though, as he went to hurry off, Keef suddenly felt someone tug harshly on his arm, hand firm on his wrist. The redhead looked over and met Zim’s gaze, the alien seeming incredible nervous as he just blurted out, “Zim can come, too?”

Keef opened his mouth to respond with a no or excuse before simply sighing and nodding, turning and walking along with Zim still clinging to his wrist like a lost child. And honestly? Keef didn’t really mind, because whatever this was, probably didn’t actually have to do with the alien himself.

This was some personal shit.

The redhead sighed softly, heading towards the boy’s bathroom, where he’d first met Dib. It was his best shot, he just hoped he didn’t mess this up further. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is late. But the update is here! And a cliff hanger! So I don’t know if that’s any better! But the next update will be coming sometime in the next few weeks! So there you have it, comment and kudos are always appreciated! Thank you for your patience!


	28. Can We Just Talk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for note, Dib says some self-hating things in this chapter. Just to let y’all know. He’s not having a good time.

Dib ignored the gentle knock on the stall door, curling up further on himself.

A few more knocks and then a cautious, “Dib?”

The boy hugged himself, snapping out bitterly, “What?”

”Uh... how are you doing?”

Dib snorted harshly into his arms, taking in a sharp breath, “OH! _JUST **GREAT**!_”

Keef sighed, “Dib.” 

The only response was a sob before soft sniffling, then silence.

“I didn’t think he’d break.” Zim’s voice cut off Keef’s train of thought, the redhead sharply glancing at Zim with a frown. The alien, however, just gazed at the bathroom stall in apparent puzzlement, brow furrowed, “Dib...?”

Dib looked up sharply hearing Zim’s voice. Oh had he come to gloat? Fresh tears sprung forth and the boy merely made a soft sound.

Zim seemed to take that as a response, “...You... need to take deep breathes.”

Dib sputtered harshly, ignoring how his voice cracked, “Wh-What?”

Zim sighed, rolling his eyes though he knew the other couldn’t see it, “ _Breathe_? You do know how to do that? In and out?”

Keef raised his eyebrows and the alien merely sighed, softening his voice, “Just... deep breaths in and out help.”

Dib snorted harshly, “FUCK YOU!” Barely taking the time to actually listen, the boy merely wiped at his face before saying with a sniffle, “Like you’d care!”

Zim dragged his claws down his face, barely holding back an annoyed hiss, before taking a deep breath himself. He turned sharply to look at Keef and motioned harshly towards the stall door, turning to walk to one of the bathroom mirrors to apparently calm himself.

It was a curious display, Keef watching wide eyed before he remembered why he was here and returned his attention to the stall. He slowly spoke up after a moment, “It’s a common technique for calming yourself down, Dib! It, uh, well I don’t know the science of it, I guess, but it helps! I know I certainly find it useful when I’m having a bad day!”

The redhead gave a small chuckle, before clicking his tongue and listening. He tried again, “Dib, he was honestly just offering some advice. And... you’re... hurting. So just take it from me, you need to clear your head.”

Nothing, then there was a shuffle, brief footsteps, and the door swung open, Dib’s tear and snot covered face peering out at him before his eyes darted away quickly. The redhead merely perked up.   
He opened his mouth to say something before closing it again, now feeling awkward. Would Dib lash out again or was he going to feel bad about snapping?

Dib seemed to note his hesitance and nervously spoke up, “...I, uh. I think you’re right.”

Keef blinked, “Hm?”

“I’ll... try some deep breaths.”

Keef smiled, opening his mouth to speak before they all heard the skool bell go off, signaling the end of lunch and the changing of classes.

Dib froze, wincing at the noise, unsure what to do before Zim said bluntly, “Class can wait, no ones going to actually come looking for us.”

The two boys glanced at Zim, the alien having notably turned off his holographic disguise for the moment, and when he noticed their stares, the alien just shrugging casually. “Eh? Oh, I ditch the classes sometimes and nothing has happened yet to the amazing Zim. You just need to keep the grades up.”

Dib rubbed at his face, sniffling, “Y-yeah?”

Zim hummed, “Yeah.” He tilted his head curiously before stalking over, tail swishing behind him as he took his wig off and lightly prodded Dib with his antenna.  
The boy just froze, blinking at the strange appendages before Zim snapped his claws together to get his attention, “Now deep breaths!”  
  
Dib blinked, wiping a hand absently across his face as he gave a snort, “Okay.”

Zim stepped back expectantly and casted a grin towards Keef. Keef merely rolled his eyes, walking over to Dib as the boy slid down to the ground, leaning against the stall’s walls. The redhead followed suit and began to gently take in deep breaths before letting them out, Dib watching him before mimicking his actions.

All the while, Zim couldn’t help but stare at the display, an antenna quirked curiously before he, after a moment of hesitance (Irk, he hoped this floor was somewhat clean), sat down by the two. It was curious, to say the least, to observe the Dib when in such a... state.

Tears were still trickling down his face, those normally bright, amber eyes of his were red and puffy, but at least his nemesis (were they technical still nemesis? Dib had rejected his truce but Zim was helping, so was the truce just assumed at this point?) had stopped that awful sobbing.  
Sure, Zim had grown up with GIR, the robot prone to emotional tantrums, but it still made the hybrid uncomfortable to be around someone that was just... straight up sobbing. 

Zim blinked, flicking an antenna towards the two human smeets, noting that he’d zoned out. Dib looked notably calmer, still sniffling and leaning heavily into Keef’s side, but at least he was not shaking as badly anymore. Still crying, but that was alright.

Zim hummed, tilting his head as he nudged Keef gently in the shoulder. The redhead blinked and leaned towards him mildly, as to not disturb Dib, “What’s up?”

The hybrid flicked his antenna back absently, “Does... does he often do... that?”

The redhead glanced at Dib, but he still seemed out of it, eyes closed. So with a hum, Keef whispered softly, “What do you mean?”

Zim shrugged, “The sobbing?”

Keef frowned, looking at him, opening his mouth to reply before Dib cut him off, voice soft, “I’m right here, you know.” The other two froze.

The hybrid jumped, scrambling to his feet as he stuttered for words before briefly saying, “Oh! Uh, eh, errr... Zim thought you’d gone blank!”

Dib glanced over with a raised eyebrow, finally opening his eyes at the same time Keef asked curiously, “Blank?” He shared a brief look with Dib before refining his attention to the alien.

Keef tilted his head as Zim waved a hand absently, beginning to pace as he tried to come up with an explanation or something. After a moment, he snapped his fingers, “Blank! Like... not responsive? Er... too much goes on and it’s... uh. You... have to stop?”

Dib furrowed his brow, rubbing at a few stray tears, “I’m not following.”

But Keef was nodding his head lightly in thought, “Like when you get overwhelmed or overstimulated? And then, uh so... so you zone out to just try and process things because it’s too much?”

Zim nodded eagerly, tailing flicking happily. Dib tilted his head, “Wait... do you? Uh, go... ‘blank’ because of things?”

The hybrid merely winced, which was answer enough, before sitting back down with a huff. “Zim doesn’t go blank. But... uh, if he did... I uh, would expect Dib-smelly would do likewise... uh.” He floundered for a moment, voice softening, “Sometimes things get too much? I’d understand. But... eh.”

Dib leaned his head back, shrugging, “Okay. Though... I can never just ignore something. But yeah... I got uh, very overwhelmed, heh. Sorry.” And then he was crying again. “Fuck, why do you two even care?”

Keef jerked to attention, blinking at the sudden change in topics, “Well, I’m your best friend! Friends help each other!”  
  
Dib hiccuped, “But why me? I’m an idiot!”

Keef gaped, baffled. Zim growled harshly, suddenly crouching beside Dib, “Hey! You have more brains then most humans on this planet!”

Dib merely snarled back, “Well everyone else seems to hate me! My own Dad doesn’t care about me unless I fuck things up! Everyone hates me! And-and...,” another sob, “...and I. I can’t help but hate myself, too?”

Keef frowned, gently nudging Dib’s shoulder, “You hate yourself, Dib?”

The boy merely whined, clutching at his hair, “I-I...”

The redhead frowned and shared a look with Zim. Zim merely glanced back helpless, mouthing ‘What do we do?’   
Keef sighed and nudged an arm behind Dib, rubbing circles into the boy’s back as Dib leaned into his side, sobbing into his shoulder.

Zim watched, lip raised in disgust at the display while his brow furrowed with concern, “What... is this because everyone thinks your crazy? Because that’s not true.”

Dib hiccuped in response, burying his head deeper into Keef’s shirt. Zim frowned, shaking his head with a huff, “Well you were right about aliens, weren’t you? Everyone else was just... dumb. And then they got pissy because you proved them wrong!” He began to snicker, “I’d say your one of the clearly superior humans here.”

Keef gave Zim a look and turned to regard Dib, “Yeah! And look. Dib, you’re my best friend, and I’m just going to say, I’m here to help. You’re smart and I think you’re pretty cool... and... sure, people are mean, but they’re just...”

Zim cut in, eagerly sitting down beside Dib, “-they’re all jealous! Bigger head means a bigger brain!”

Dib snorted harshly into Keef’s shirt, pushing away to take his glasses off and harshly wipe at his face, voice wavering, “I don’t t-think that’s how, how it works.”  
  
Zim sneered, antenna perked up eagerly, “Well, I, the superior being, am telling you, dirt-fool, you are the superior human. So of course it’s true~!”

This got a wheeze out of Dib, “Y-yeah?” The boy put his glasses back on as he choked down another sob, though a wavering smile was on his face.

Keef grinned widely, “Well! If the alien is saying it, I’d say it has to be true!”

Dib leaned forward, wiping at his nose, though the smile cracked and fell once more, “They still think I’m an idiot.” He clenched his fists. “Like... what did I even do?”

“What do you mean?”

Dib turned towards Keef, “Our classmates! T-they... always seem to just hate me? And... and I’m just trying to he-help. I mean... I just t-try, try to... I-I... I dunno.”

There was a pause, and then Keef sighed, “I... don’t know either. Maybe you just don’t line up with their ideas for normal? And because they want things to line up, they try to break everything they see under them apart? I mean... that just seems to be the thing here? No one really ever liked me, cause I’m just weird and overexcitable.” He tapped his fingers absently as he began to flap his other hand. “And you’re kinda like me? So... like, sure you get obsessive sometimes, but you’re also just curious and full of theories and ideas... so uh, I don’t know?”

Dib sighed heavily, and this time Zim spoke up, “Well they’re all just dookie-heads.”

Dib gave a choked laugh at that, “Pfff! Okay then.”

Zim merely hummed, glancing at Keef before looking back at Dib, “Truce?”

The boy blinked, glancing at the alien with a frown, “Huh?”

The hybrid rolled his eyes, “Truce. I asked about in earlier... but yeaaaah. But, well... I don’t... Zim doesn’t want to fight you?”

“W-what?”

”Eh? We- er, not in the bad way! I would gladly pummel you! It’s just... Zim just... you seem tired? And uh, well you got ‘grounded’ so... truce?” Zim awkwardly tapped a claw against the wall behind him before he glanced awkwardly at Dib.

Dib was just... staring. It wasn’t blank though, so that was something. He opened his mouth, as though to speak, before closing it again and frowning. Then nervously he nodded, “Okay.”

Keef perked up, “Really?”

Dib sniffled, “Yeah... I’m-I really am tired. Heh.” He gave a forced laugh before letting himself close his eyes and sigh. 

Zim tilted his head, “Are you... okay?”

“Nope.”

“Will you be?”

“...”

Keef nudged the other boy, “Dib?”

Dib finally shifted and nodded softly, smiling weakly. “I think... yeah. I’ll be okay...later.” He sighed softly. “Later.”

Keef hummed softly, gently placing an arm around Dib’s shoulder, “Well... that’s alright.”

Zim stood up suddenly, warily, “Okay... welp! We’ll... talk later?”  
  
Dib merely hummed softly, rubbing at his face tiredly, leaving Keef to merely give a cheery thumbs up in reply.

Zim nodded, smiled awkwardly, and then promptly left after turning his hologram back on and fixing his wig back onto his head.  
Keef glanced up to watch him head out before looking back at Dib, “So you sure you’re going to be okay? I know how much... you-“

”-How come you let Zim come with you?”   
  
The redhead furrowed his brow, blinking, “Hey are you trying to change the-“

“No.” Dib stood up and walked over to one of the sinks, getting some water to briefly splash on his face. He glanced at the mirror and saw Keef had walked over. “I... I just was wondering, uh, why did he come, too?”

Keef shrugged, “He wanted to help?”

“Why?” Dib frowned, raising an eyebrow.

“I dunno. How about you ask him when you talk later?” Keef smiled and ran a hand through his hair. “Anyways, you feeling better now?”

Dib rolled his eyes, and after a moment of just staring at himself, he turned to look at Keef, “I... I’m feeling better.”

”That’s good!”

”Heh. Yeah,” Dib ran a hand through his own hair, wiping at his eyes once more before turning towards the bathroom door, “Well... we should head to our classes, I guess.”

Keef hummed, “Okay, want a hug before we go?”

Dib almost scoffed at the thought, before something faltered inside of him, and he merely gave a meek nod. Quick as a flash, Keef had opened his arms, and Dib had fallen in.

The boy practically melted in the redhead’s arms... it had been way too long since he’d last gotten a hug.

But as soon as it begun, it was over, with Keef gently guiding him back outside the bathroom, pausing to give him a gentle smile, before heading off. And Dib... just stood there for a moment. 

He closed his eyes, took another deep breath, and as he opened his eyes again, Dib sighed softly. Then he turned and walked along towards his own class.


	29. The Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things hurt sometimes. But that’s okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn these last few chapters have hurt to write like emotionally. But I’m happy with how they turned out, anyways, enjoy!

Dib didn’t see Keef or Zim again until recess, and when he did, he also noticed his sister hanging around. 

With a sigh, the boy walked over towards the others, and surprisingly enough, his sister was the first one to speak up.

”Dib, uh, hey...,” Gaz shifted and glanced away from him with a huff, “I’m sorry.”

While Dib had initially planned a spiteful response to whatever his sister said to him next time they saw each other, the boy just sighed in relief. There was a brief silence before Dib gave a shrug, “I accept your apology, I was kind of being an ass anyway.”

He gave a lopsided smile and Gaz’s face blanked.

Then the girl blinked, and it looked like she might cry, before she blinked again, and turned back to her game like nothing had happened. The soft exhale Gaz gave as her shoulders slumped didn’t go unnoticed though.

But Dib didn’t ask, just turning to Keef and Zim, “Well, it’s later.”

Keef smiled, perking up, “Yup!”

Zim just nodded sagely, leaning against the small tree they stood near. “That is, in fact, how time works.” 

Dib just snorted, and Keef’s smile  
became softer. “Feeling better now?”

Gaz peeked over at her brother as he flopped down on the ground, “Honestly, I kinda am feeling better.” The smile he had fell for a moment before it came back softer. “I’m still kinda fucked up about the whole thing though. You know... since... well you know.”

Gaz sat down on the ground next to him and nudged him with a foot, “You’re allowed to feel fucked up about it, people suck.”

Dib just grinned at his sister, “Yeah.” He glanced over at Keef and said mildly, “But you guys are cool.”

The redhead beamed and flopped down as well, eyes sparkling as they darted between Dib and the sky above, “Well glad we get the seal of approval.”

Dib just hummed and closed his eyes.

Zim watched them for a moment before asking nervously, “Would I also be included in getting this approval seal?”

Dib peeked open an eye and rubbed his chin with thought, Zim watching intently, before the boy shrugged, “Yup.”

The alien instantly lit up, sitting down and rolling his eyes with a large smile, “Well of course, I am the Almi-“

Keef cut him off, “-Zim.“

Zim blinked, “Eh?”

The redhead merely smiled up at the sky with a finger on his lips.

Dib snorted softly and Gaz rolled her eyes while the alien sputtered for a moment. Then, dramatically, Zim rolled onto the ground, pouting before he got distracted by the few clouds he could see traveling across the sky.

They stayed like for a good few minutes, Zim and Keef muttering quietly about weird clouds they observed while Dib just took it all in, reflecting and thinking.   
  
Dib didn’t want to admit it, but he had been in denial about a lot of things. It didn’t help that lately things that just stacked up and made him feel like his world was falling apart.  
And maybe his world really was falling apart. 

Or at least the one he’d convinced himself mattered. A world where he’d get approval from everyone, where they’d praise him for being the hero, where he was paid attention to by a busy father, where he destroyed the monsters, and where Dib Membrane could make those that hated him and hurt him see that they were the real idiots and fools.

But... that world was never going to happen... was it?

People were always going to judge him, for one thing or the other. He was obsessive and brash, excitable and oblivious. And he was never going to fix things by proving anything. Even if he got that proof, they weren’t going to change.   
  
He had already been proven right, everyone knew... and they didn’t care.

Dib sighed softly and he felt Keef gently nudge his shoulder, though the redhead didn’t say anything to him, the other felt that reassurance. Dib opened his eyes and gazed at the sky before he realized he had something to ask Zim.

”Hey, Zim.”

There was a light humming sound to his right and he glanced over to see Zim laying there with eyes on the sky above. Huh, Dib hasn’t even noticed he’d moved there. 

“Why did you come with Keef?”

He was expecting something dismissive, or maybe a claim as his nemsis it was his right to know what was up with Dib, but instead there was nothing at all.  
  
The boy opened his mouth to ask again, before Zim spoke up, “I was worried.”

Dib’s mouth slammed shut, but Keef said what he was wondering, “You were worried?”

Zim frowned tightly, still staring skyward, “I guess so. I think I also just... Zim gets it.”

Dib raised an eyebrow, “Get what?”

The alien finally looked at him, and it was strange to see such a tired look on his face, “Sometimes you just want to prove yourself. And then the day comes when you realize it won’t fix anything.”

That sent a cold shiver down Dib’s spine, and he looked away. Zim merely contuined, looking back to the sky, “Zim thought, at first, that you were just an idiot.” This got an insulted sound from the boy. “-But... well. You are just... how do I put it... you care too much.”

Dib blinked, sitting up, “What?”

He could see Gaz and Keef share a glance from the corner of his eye, but he ignored them.

Zim closed his eyes and sighed, waving a hand, “Well, you crave approval, you’re curious, you get invested. But you also want others to understand what you see. So you push it on them, and naturally, they don’t understand why it should even matter. They push back and get annoyed. You try again, because you think it matters, because to you it does. And you get hurt. And you try to ignore it.”

The boy blinked, face going blank as he looked at Zim sharply, “ _What_?”

The alien sighed, pinching the place where his nose would be, “I- ughhh!” He flung his arms out and stared narrowly at the boy, “Dib, we are both outcasts and we want to prove ourselves. We are delusional and think it’ll be better if somehow we play the hero and win. But we aren’t the heros. We are just trying to ignore our problems.”

Zim sighed, “So when I saw you... break, I got worried. I... Zim... Zim has broken before. And I got those I care about hurt. I got hurt. So... eh... yeah...” He trailed off with a tight lipped frown.

Dib... Dib didn’t know what to say. So he laid back down on the ground and let the tears that had been building finally fall.

Keef watched the two for a moment before laying back down and gently pressing his shoulder against Dib’s. And while Dib shuddered, he just closed his eyes and didn’t flinch away.   
Gaz set her game down and gently nudged his foot with her own, “Hey... uh. You got us... okay?”

Dib nodded softly, eyes still closed, and sniffled. Zim turned to look at him briefly and sighed before looking back at the sky.

~  
  
When the day finally ended, Dib felt... well, not great... but better.   
  
It was odd. But not unwelcomed. His world had shattered, crumbled down around him, but maybe Dib should finally start acknowledging the real one.

Where he had a sister, that while she scowled more than she smiled and called him idiot more than his actual name, still cared more than the false idols he’d been grasping at.  
Dib had a best friend, that while he’d at first just used the redhead as a means to an end, he now couldn’t think of a better friend to have.

And his so called nemesis... Dib didn’t know how to feel about him. He’d spent so much time hating him and treating him like the golden ticket out of all his problems, now, now he understood the alien? Sort of anyway. And it was kind of relieving. Weirdly.

But he now had to accept that this real world didn’t care. And that some people would never be impressed. And that some people were never going to accept him.

And that fucking hurt. It hurt more than all the times he’d been beat down or kicked around. But... he had people that listened to him. That knew he wasn’t crazy or stupid... that just saw him as Dib.

So Dib decided that this was going to be okay. He’d get better. Maybe not for awhile... but eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I’d just like to take a moment to thank you for all the kudos and comments, they’re all so appreciated! I am so glad people have enjoyed this series so far, it’s been a delight to write, though, seeing as finals are coming up quick, the chapter releases are definitely going to get more sporadic. Anyways, be kind to one another, treat yourself kindly, and thank you for reading! Until next time, cya!


	30. Making Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They be vibin

After what felt like a lifetime to the hybrid, Skool finally ended, and Zim was able to dash back home. There was too much to think about, and he didn’t want to think about it.

But he couldn’t help but be somewhat relieved with the day as he slammed open the base’s front door, tore off his disguise and turned off his holo-band, before dramatically flopping onto the couch with a groan.

Shep was there, watching a documentary on sharks with GIR at the time, turning to observe her smeet for a moment. She turned back to the Tv and asked with a hum, “Zim, how was your day?”

The hybrid just groaned louder, “I think I became _**friends**_ with my _nemesis_.”

The scientist merely glanced at him with another hum and faint smile, “And how’d that happen precisely?”

Zim huffed sourly, curling up so his back was pressed against Shep’s side as he glared half-heartedly at the couch arm, “He was... having a... uh bad time. Almost went blank, I think. And so I gave him advice, then me and Keef made sure he was okay. Now... we have a truce?”

Shep stroked his antenna lightly with a nod, “I see. And how do you feel about that? You were so excited for a possible sparring partner your age and a nemesis to fight for global domination against.”

Zim shrugged, “I dunno. Heh... I uh, I think we can still spar? But I believe it would have to be like... agreed upon verbally now? And... I don’t know how I feel about world domination anymore.”

“Well that’s okay. So what now? Is that it for the whole global domination?”

Zim huffed, “I don’t know.”

Shep nodded mildly, “Well how do you actually feel about that nemesis to friend development then? Does it really bother you or are you being a dramatic shit?”

The hybrid made a half-hearted sound of annoyance before sighing softly, “I... Zim is kind of... glad?”

“Yeah?” Shep scratched at her face for a moment before returning to gently stroking Zim’s head.

Zim glanced up at the scientist with a mild shrug, “Yeah.” He frowned and felt his tail lash harshly against the couch, “Zim is unsure. But I am glad I helped. I think... I... eh.”

The hybrid went quiet and just gazed back at the couch’s arm, tail still lashing. Seeing as Zim wasn’t the most talkative at the moment, Shep let her antenna ease back with a soft nod. Turning her attention back towards the sharks on screen, she contuined to gently stroke her smeet’s antenna, “Okay.”

Zim leaned into the contact as he quietly repeated her, “ _Okay_.”

Shep just nodded again and relaxed back into the show. Sharks were quite fascinatingly terrifying and she was invested.

~  
  


The next few days were... curious, to say the least.

Keef couldn’t help but find the situation both hilarious, but also just plain sad.

And not in the sense that Dib was still unsure of himself after everything that happened, but in the sense that Dib and Zim honestly had no idea how to actually interact like normal people. 

Especially when Zim kept asking Dib if he wanted to ‘spar’ after classes. Though that was kind of funny to watch. Especially when Dib would start asking question after question about Zim.

It was somethi- _thunk_ \- something hit Keef's leg and he blinked back to himself as he shifted in his seat. Keef looked away from his thoughts and the food tray he was blankly staring at to find what had hit him. 

Dib was questioning Zim on something else and so Keef glanced over at Gaz. The girl was staring at him and after a moment she sighed and said, "About time."

The boy merely raised a confused eyebrow, "Huh?"

Gaz rolled her eyes, "I was trying to get your attention. But you were apparently spaced out."

Keef gave a simple shrug in response before focusing in on what Dib was saying to Zim. "-t is not that weird to ask for your blood, Zim."

The alien just gazed narrowly at the other, "It's mine!"

Dib shrugged, "I mean, yeah, but, you got some to spare, right? Your species does produce more blood cells, right?"

Zim just gave the boy a baffled look. Then he just sputtered for a moment, "Wh- I don't- why would, wait... does my body even have blood?"

It was Dib's turn to be baffled, "What?" He shook his head sharply and gestured wildly before finding his voice again. "Of course your body should have blood in it! Y-you do have blood? Zim. ZIM DO YOU HAVE BLOOD?"

There was just a confused and horrified hiss in response, and Keef turned to look back at Gaz. She just shrugged, "I have no clue what they're going on about, but are you going to eat that?" She pointed down at his tray and Keef casted it a brief glance. "That's like some of the only decent fucking food in this place and you are just staring at it."

The redhead just shoved over the tray and went back to listening in on the baffling conversation between Dib and Zim. 

"-Zim. Just, do you, just call Shep."

"I can't just- she's doing experiments!" Zim was absently chewing on his fork now and was waving a hand around sharply. 

"Zim." Dib covered his face with his hands and gave a sharp inhale. "We need answers."

The other looked ready to bark out some response or another so Keef decided to butt in, "Hey, what's happening?"

Zim turned to him sharply before whisper yelling, "KEEF I DO _NOT_ KNOW WHETHER OR NOT I HAVE BLOOD!"

The redhead just blinked, "Why wouldn't you have blood?"

Zim and Dib glanced at each other before shrugging. Keef just sighed, "You have both literally beaten the living daylight out of each other. I've seen you with a bloody nose before, Zim. You also get cuts and bruises sometimes when you fight with Dib. You have blood."

Dib blinked and uncovered his face, "Oh, yeah."

The alien merely opened and closed his mouth a few times before biting his lip, "Huh."

Dib then paused and glanced sharply back at Zim, "Wait, yeah, I have seen you with a bloody nose before, when I kicked you in the face that one time... but you don't... have a nose?"

Zim huffed, "What? I mean, I have nostrils?"

The other squinted and leaned in, "Wait, really?"

Zim shoved him back with a growl, "Don't be weird! Zim doesn't want your stink breath in my face!" The alien then gave a loud snort, "But yes. I do, in fact, have nostrils. It is why Zim knows how awful you smell, smelly.”

Dib gave a harsh huff, “I don’t smell.”

Keef hummed in thought, "But does that count as a nose?"

The other two just glanced at each other before shrugging. Dib opened his mouth, looking ready to start spitting off theories or maybe even more questions, when the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. 

Gaz was the first one to get to her feet, glancing over with a nonchalant wave before picking up her empty tray and promptly leaving. Dib watched for a moment before yawning and glancing over at Keef and Zim, "Welp, I'll see you two later, I guess." 

Keef nodded with a smile and Zim simply gave a thumbs up before leaving as well. And soon enough Keef was left by himself as Dib headed off, the redhead shaking his head mildly at how odd things had gotten before realizing he should be heading to class as well. 

And so he did that.

~

Dib was suspicious. But when wasn't he honestly? 

But still... Zim had invited him over. Not some trap, nothing like a challenge or promise of some evil experiment... a proper invitation. 

Dib frowned tightly as he raised his finger to the doorbell, not really sure. It wasn’t like he thought Zim was planning something (mostly sure), it had been nearly a week since the truce and everything, but still.

This made Dib nervous. He felt exposed... not sneaking around or using some spy tech bought off the web... just him (and Gaz) standing at Zim’s door.

He must have stood there too long because suddenly Gaz shoved him aside and knocked on the door, yelling sharply, “HEY SPACE-DORK! OPEN UP!”

There was a pause where Dib glanced sharply at Gaz before the door opened and the human-disguised Shep peered out.  
She looked them over before opening the door completely and gesturing inside.

Gaz gave a surprisingly polite, ‘Thanks, Shep’ before walking in and yelling for Zim, leaving her brother to awkwardly stand there for a moment, just staring at Shep. The alien didn’t seem to mind, staring back with a blank expression before Dib straightened up and went inside.

It was weird. And incredibly awkward. 

Dib glanced over his shoulder at Shep as she closed the door and he gave a sheepish, “Uh, hi.”

Shep nodded, “Indeed.” She then walked over to the kitchen as she clicked a strange device on her wrist, leaving Dib to watch as her form flickered before the human visage faded all together.   
Dib had never actually seen what the alien looked like properly before, since she often was out of sight or disguised when he saw her, but he honestly wasn’t expecting her to look as she did.

For one thing, she didn’t look much like Zim.

Shep had light green skin, lacked an extra pair of arms, and didn’t have the notable tail like Zim. Zim was a much more vibrant green and with all the colorful yellows and blues he had along his skin as well, it made Dib briefly wonder if maybe it was some form of sexual dimorphism? But would that explain away the tail and arms?

Zim was supposedly her clone, wasn’t he? So shouldn’t he look like her? Dib must had said some of his thoughts aloud because Shep turned to look at him.

“Well, he isn’t a perfect clone.” Shep’s antenna twitched mildly as she appeared to roll her eyes as she sat back into the couch. 

Dib could hear Zim and Gaz in the kitchen then, but he was admittedly intrigued, “He isn’t?”

Shep scratched at her face with ungloved hands, showing off her peculiar claws, which seemed fused to the alien’s fingers. “He’s a hybrid, of sorts. You’re cloned as well aren’t you?”

Dib shrugged as he unconsciously flopped onto the couch as well, “Yeah.”

Shep shifted mildly and unpaused the documentary she’d been watching, “Aren’t you here for Zim?”

The boy merely blinked at the change in subject but as he was set to answer, he was cut off by said alien entering the room with a loud yell, “DIB!”

He glanced over to see Zim with only a long black skirt on, two hands on his hips, the other pair crossed, with antenna settled back against his head and tail lashing sharply behind him. 

Zim threw up his top pair of arms at Dib’s moment of silence, “WELL?”

Dib gave him a look, “Well what?”

The alien gestured sharply to himself, with his power set of arms as he crossed his top pair, “WELL, firstly, does this look good? SECONDLY, _**ASSHOLE**_ , Zim _graciously_ invited you to the base and you just sit here without being POLITE and greeting the almighty and amazing ZIM????”

Gaz stalked over from behind Zim and shrugged, “He’s got a point. No need to be so rude, Dib.”

Her brother just mouthed softly ‘fuck off’ before rolling his eyes back towards Zim, “Hi, Zim.”

Zim huffed, tail whipping even sharper before he shook his head, “Now what about my skirt?”

Dib just shrugged, “It looks alright? I guess? I’m not really into fashion or whatever.”

Shep paused her show and glanced at the three in silent annoyance that they were carrying on as she was trying to watch her documentary. Zim just gave an offended snort at Dib’s lacking answer about his amazing skirt.

Gaz broke the quiet as she huffed, “Zim, it looks good. Dib’s just an idiot that wears the same thing every day.”

“I DO NOT.”

The girl rolled her eyes sharply, “When’s the last time you washed that fucking trenchcoat, _Dib_.”

The silence was answer enough and Shep muttered sharply, antenna arching up and back, “That’s disgusting.”

Dib glanced sharply at her, “IT IS NOT THAT BAD!”

“It really is disgusting. But fine, lie to yourself. But I know why you stink now.” Shep unpaused her show again leaving Dib to sputter for a response.

He swung his gaze over to Zim and Gaz, “I do not stink.”

“I disagree.”

“Zim could smell you come in.”

Dib pouted. He opened his mouth sharply when a shrill voice tore through the room as GIR burst into the room. Through the window. “MARY!”

The robot was dressed in his green dog suit and he stood up sharply from his crumpled position, glass falling off of him onto the floor, arms raised up highly as his suit’s tail wagged excitedly.

Zim just covered his face with his hands as he whispered softly, “Why did Zim let him watch that movie.”

Shep just had enough and got up without a word, antenna flattened and teeth bared as she headed into the kitchen and away from it all. 

“Mary?” Dib glanced at the robot in confusion.

”YUP!” And with that the robot promptly jumped back out the window leaving just Zim, Gaz, and Dib in the living room now.

“Zim. What the fuck?” Gaz glanced at the broken window and glass all over the floor before gazing at the alien.

Zim just rubbed his face, quietly saying, “I let him watch a spy movie or something. I-Zim... let’s just go to my room.”

Dib got up off the couch and shrugged, “Cool.”

Zim just shrugged, “Sure.” Then he followed the lead of Shep, entering the trash can elevator in the kitchen and gesturing for the Membrane siblings to follow.

So they did, Dib remembering his brief times here while Gaz looked like this was a regular occurance she could care less about. Though thinking back when they had gone out on that investigation, Zim had mentioned something about Gaz coming over?

Wait how long had Gaz been coming over to Zim’s? Because she most certainly knew where he lived and seemed like she knew her way around... hm. Dib would have to ask later, for sure.

Zim turned towards Dib suddenly, “You’re not going to try and steal anything, right?”

Dib blinked, “Huh?”

Zim huffed, “Stealing. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STEAL! _**Righhhht**_?”

The boy shrugged, “I mean-,” Gaz gave him a sharp look, “-no?”

Gaz glanced away towards Zim, “He won’t.”

Zim narrowed his eyes before nodding softly, “Alright.”

Dib crossed his arms, “Yeah.”

Zim huffed, “Yup.”

Dib nodded, “Uh-huh.”

Zim got into Dib’s face, “Alright then!”

Dib grunted, “Okay!”

“Fine!”

“Whatever!”

“Y-“

Gaz growled sharply, “Just shut up.”

Zim bit his tongue and slowly turned away, “Fineee.”

Dib just stuck his tongue out before glancing around as the elevator stopped, “Wait, we didn’t go that far down.”

Zim nodded as he stepped out and began walking, the dark corridors lighting up as he moved along, allowing the humans to better see where they were going. “My room isn’t too deep into the base.”

Gaz yawned, “It’s a pretty nice room.”

Zim gave her a sharp grin over his shoulder, “Why thanks!”

Gaz shrugged and Dib butted in, “So what are we going to do?”

“Heh?”

Dib adjusted his glasses, “Like, uh... got anything to do down here?”

Zim perked up, “Oh, yes.”

Dib waited before waving a hand, “Aaaaand?”

Zim hummed softly as he turned a corner and a door opened up, “Oh, just games and stuff? How do you feel about experimenting on a squid later by the way?”   
  
Dib blinked slowly, “Uh... okay, I guess? What?”

Zim just beamed, “Don’t worry about it.”

The boy glanced at his sister, but she just waved him off, “You’ll see.”

Zim nodded, “Yes.”

Dib sighed softly, “Okay then.”

The alien hummed and lead them to his room, where some games and movies were ready to go. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was kind of excited to show off to Dib. Gaz was fun to be around, but it was so amusing to see Dib react to things and get excited about things Zim himself saw as pretty useless or unimportant.

He plopped down on one of the bean bags he had and motioned for Dib and Gaz to join him, “Movies or games?”

Gaz shrugged, “Whatever.”

Dib peered curiously at the room, “Uh, could I maybe look around?”

Zim waved him off, “Sure thing.”

Dib practically lit up so the hybrid turned to discuss the games he had with Gaz, “I got some new ones.”

The girl just grinned sharply, “Nice.”

Zim beamed back and the two began to discuss the plans for the night while Dib began to excitedly ask questions about the many trinkets and things around Zim’s room. The hybrid answered simply enough while he got things set up, and as he did so, he decided that this was going to be a nice night.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad things to be ‘friends’ with Dib now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A more chill chapter, I just kinda published it so it may read weaker than some of the other chapters. Also sorry it took so long to get it out, but with a mix of school work and writer’s block, it took a bit to get it written. But either way, hope this is a nice little break from some of the more tense chapters earlier and a nice ease back into the grove of things. Thanks for waiting, and thanks for reading!


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